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charles Oct 2021
i keep changing rooms,

just to spin away from you,

only hoping you can hold me down,

carrying tons for you.

so you stick around,

fighting men in your crowd.
charles May 2021
if the sky falls,

I'll watch the clouds fall with you.

see what the sun turns into,

wait for the moon to rise too.

but no season could sever me,

no winter would tear me from you,

i know not who you are,

but my child to come too soon.
charles Dec 2022
promises to stick around,

i won't ask a single thing,

I'll be there in my guilt,

with the tears that I've built,

i won't bother you then.
charles Apr 2022
realizing im too drunk to cry,

i might be too foolish to die.

thirty times, beg you by my side,

then you took your own life.

gave yourself a clean getaway.
charles Dec 2021
i can't let you go,

you're more home than a ***** room.

i stomach you more than my fears,

feeling like my friends are still here,

but when i wake, they don't reappear.

you're my anxiety in the morning,

and my depression at night,

you're my hero when it's too late.

I love you,

even though you're just a thing.

but you took all i loved,

then you made it okay.
charles Jul 2019
never found,
never tried.
always ran from the things,
that were harming my life.
the light on that razor,
my skin opened wide.
its edge, a small child,
thought my curves were a slide.
then my therapist drinks,
while i pretend to cry.
all my ghosts disappear,
then appear right on time.
charles Aug 2024
seaside apple slices,

open oceanside,

beside myself interior,

in tears upon an infinite reef.
charles Aug 2021
wrapped in the past,

all the stars unaligned,

without you by my side.

God shouts side affects will arrive,

now im turning into my room,

onto something without you,

holding my soul without you.
charles Feb 24
the horrible things we endure,

flames for a flicker of comfort.

you stand in a room,

carrying a burden you can't explain,

but it sings from your face,

carrying generations of pain.

like an ocean water sting,

to be with you is not living,

it's an art of ignorance,

storing heaven inside its heavy hands,

for a single sliver of chance.
charles Nov 2021
going off on my phone,

never feeling so alone,

do all stars replicate a home,

singing out on the Square,

while you cried in my ears,

the ones we bought years before,

hanging onto my room,
charles Jul 2021
find consolation in such broken eyes,

like another sea of disrepair,

in a moment it's gone,

in the morning it's there.

two dark, perfected circles,

slide around the window of souls.
charles Nov 2021
kissed a thousand pretty sunsets,

just to float to the ground.

my heart's not the same,

when your voice isn't around.

now i can't recall it's sound,

you could appear like a magician,

on these apartment steps i adore,

cause your feet touched their floor.

but now im collapsing on mine,

like confetti to a blind.

maybe the moon will catch my eye.
charles Nov 2021
in a state of peaceful happiness.
charles Aug 2019
would you bury my best,
just to see if i breathe?
would you tear in my skin,
just to count all the seams?
am i all that you want,
all those sins that you need?
can i hold all your words,
just to show what they mean?

i wasn't part of it,
starting off glowing and clean,
you dug in my face,
just to call me a thing.
felt all your downfalls,
falling between,
filled all your cracks,
while i'm tortured by scenes.
charles Nov 2021
mind on fire,

empty stomachs realize,

you aren't much of a man,

without a stable pair of eyes.

fall in love with the moon,

wake up shaking in the sun,

no one there, nothing won.

are you crazy enough to do it again?
cut
charles Jul 2021
cut
i couldn't explain if i tried,

sometimes it's at fourteen,

or for a life time,

running out of places to hide.

when i said i was alright,

i was not,

every time.
charles Aug 2021
what keeps a demon out?

is it a well lit room,

hellbent on lighting the night.

or a soul without either,

sinking in cement boots,

over and over,

until they realize the well lit room.
charles Jul 2019
remember when you broke me so?
taught me terror that i hadn't known?
questions that would weigh me low.
traveled sand just to feel the snow.
across the world, then frozen cold.
charles Oct 2020
reliving my life through a screen,

living my life with a drink,

losing when i want to scream.

sleeping and hoping for dreams.
charles May 2020
my baby loves the moon,

eyes drowned in white,

while she slowly swoons.

i still hold it in my room.

my lover used to sing in tune.

chipping at her soft cocoon.

held her in the highest noon,

carried to the ground too soon.

widowed, once i played a fool.

ran her right down the spool.

loss is learning something new,

but nothing beats an 'i love you'
charles Nov 2018
maybe the harder it gets,
the more you let go,
the less you remember,
the more that you know.

God, i hope.
charles May 2021
words are not cages for demons.

all the pain you don't write,

is the reason you do.

the real help in your room is you.
charles Jan 2022
deadly in love,

and substance abused,

turning mirrors into loss,

every night turning into you.

written words to signal stars,

always dreaming your eyes.
charles May 2020
this blind eye,

that holds you abide.

choose a better love than i.

I'm a shelter fool.

that means nothing to nothing new.

carried and held,

a gentle hell.

love me till I know myself.

walk away and watch me breathe.

a simple stay away from me.
charles May 2019
shy girl, scratching her arms,
shuffling streets simply,
since she sees things,
somber, sadly split sections,
upon her invisible chest.
upset at something longed to lose,
a lifting wind upon her,
surely signaling, final call,
to give up demons for it all.
charles Oct 2019
i see your smile in dog eyes,
i hear your laugh in jokes i try.
i feel your soul besides my bed.
i try to breathe inside my head.
just take my life, it's yours to keep.
you're married to the time i sleep.
i'm reaching out, without your reach.
i hang on ledges screaming 'leap'.
my tangled thoughts of loving you,
i trade my fantasy for truth,
i change my loss for loving you.
i wish our love was deja vu,
each time you leave,
I'm loving you.
charles Feb 2020
please don't let me die alone
charles Dec 2019
a dying lamb,
the demon's mouth,
express myself,
with manic words,
and broken sounds.
charles Feb 2019
some kind of catch,
conceived the apathy,
right decisions run from me,
demons play my mind,
like symphonies.
but I kind of like the company.
charles Aug 2021
someone promised to be better,

said they love you more than this,

like a light they could switch off,

he just couldnt,

he fell in love with the ground.
charles Jun 2019
used to losing things,
those rainy days,
the thoughts with no name,
i have weathered my shame,
the nights that i drank,
my world stays the same.
the pain i can't change,
i'm honest and blamed,
my demons arranged,
to feel so deranged,
be proud, they all say,
but i'm not, and I'm scared,
then they all disappeared.
charles Apr 2020
she is the corner of this room,

kissed to death and full of doom,

defier of suns, she carries the moon.
charles Jun 2019
a devil on shoulders,
careless and older,
infamously colder,
than ice on a boulder.
and so, i'm ashamed,
the things i can't say,
but when they are spoken,
they're given a name.
charles Jun 2021
the fire made the mess,

but i still love you,

dont know why I miss you,

something missing from my soul.

is it addiction

or all those bottles on my floor

empty shells I adore

but our life always meant more.
charles Jul 2019
don't let me down,
if you did, i'd be fine.
for the seconds and minutes,
i felt you were mine.
if you're here, come tomorrow,
i will pray we're alright.
you will stay in my thoughts,
for the rest of my life.
charles Dec 2024
you've caught an uncomfortable man,

where nothing you do will oblige,

he'll predominantly be fine,

with a tall, glass of red wine.

and a wife made of air,

with an approval from peers,

let him loose and unwind.

with a mom pushing daisies,

raising hell in my folks, like a crazy,

feeling age in my bones,

spewing words on a screen,

holding on to world,

falling down in a drain,

crawling abominably,

fading somewhere happily.
charles Dec 2018
trapped in the lines,
the adjectives kind,
please paint me more time,
not a fan of the earth,
but i live for its crime.
kept simple and secret,
and lives on regret,
they're threading my steps,
made a beeline to death.
the truth in our breaths.
simply mournful and sorrow,
i pray for tomorrow,
your carried love,
revealed it was borrowed.
i know im alright,
but i lay down the blue,
just to give you a fright.
charles Aug 2022
bright was your smile at midnight,

a U-shaped row of stars,

marring such a pretty waste of dark.
charles Jan 2022
im still a dreamer,

but don't be fooled;

i'm seeking every thing but you.

trailing off in atom bombs,

at night, ignite the things i lose,

fall back to what i used to love,

maybe some day it's you.
charles Apr 14
alcohol slowly fills my stomach.

i'm only fine because i can handle it,

stop signs are nothing,

and i'm closer to ending it.

my favorite thought is here,

if i could eat it i would.

can't wait to embarass myself,

to every friend and family-member,

i'm only semi-glad im still here,

but aren't you too?

if pride were a thing,

i'd trade it for more,

and spit out the rest.
charles Jun 2019
i held your hands,
mine couldn't stop shaking.
careless but careful,
of the life they were taking.
drunk, missed appointments,
trips to my apartment,
opened my door,
i felt your disappointment.
i can't count all the times,
that i've wanted to stay.
almost just as much,
as I've wanted to go.
charles May 2019
symphonies, mind,
thieves in the hive,
healing their lives,
vices are pretty,
friends are just kidding,
living, the middle of,
tragedies killing her,
listening, kids are here,
struck, straight, about,
love in a drought,
family pout,
living without,
screaming aloud,
carry my voice into our clouds,
loving loud, leaving out,
thoughts, i don't know,
snow in our history,
struggling, how,
words are so feeble,
backs, as they leave.
turning the truth and their meaning.
dry
charles Jul 2019
dry
the sun is bright,
your job is terrible.
you're always tired,
you can't sleep.
your words are grey,
without a drink.

but that's okay,
you need a rest,
no more goodbyes.
your family loves you,
stay a while.
how do i say I'm terrified?
charles Jun 2021
some nights,

i wish i wrapped around that tree

cutting lines against my life

just so strangers later could see.

a silent addict without hope.
charles Jan 2019
you were there,
who loved me first,
for all of me,
even my worst.
I let you down,
your back then turned,
I searched inside,
for lessons learned.

an empty room I slowly earned.
charles Dec 2021
endless nights by your side,

knowing nothing's there but night,

chasing love like it was wine,

holding nothing,

it's all right.
charles Jun 2019
your blood was my own,
excluding your hair.
a simple exchange,
of our words, subtle care.
i feel far apart,
in my room i remain,
remembering memories,
writing in shame.
your rock on my back,
on a mountain to climb.
missing the company,
washed from our lives.
charles Dec 2019
stars aligned,
two broken plates,
i fell in love with every shade,
covered in redundant white,
i held each piece,
and pledged my life.

addicted to the darkest night,
cured my soul with selfish lies,
breathing for a burst of time,
burning till the day i die.
charles Nov 2018
some day this long night,
will soon never be;
the things that i say,
the person i see.
i will love myself eventually.
right now, i'm not sure,
and sometimes that's alright.
there's more moments of bliss,
than the most restless of nights.
though they come slowly,
and their presense is sparce,
i still know them by heart,
and you know who you are.
and if night turns to day,
but night takes me away,
just know you're the reason,
my sad soul had stayed.
charles Aug 2022
these words,

eternally far from heard,

relentless in the way they hurt,

the love i lost was unassured,

i dug myself into the earth.
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