Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
129 · Jan 2019
adopted
charles Jan 2019
do I look like you?
so I searched the truth,
from a time that mattered,
no longer does it,
others have flattered,
and none of them you.
129 · Jul 2019
belated (mother's day)
charles Jul 2019
these words, couldn't show you,
though love has been so true,
i couldn't love back,
every year, i was trying,
your body was dying,
but slowly your soul,
inching closer to mine.
couldn't hold it, i stared,
then i sat and i cried.
all good things that were true,
i convinced them to lie.
128 · Nov 2022
wellness check
charles Nov 2022
wasted and welded,

to a well-lit screen,

sitting in a dim-lit room,

recreating my opinions of you.

half-way out an open door,

hanging on a half-lit moon,

hugging a mental fire,

shaking and withdrawn from life.
128 · Sep 2021
i dont love you anymore
charles Sep 2021
when the sky falls,

can i follow the midnight,

where i am nothing,

but a drunk on lies and life,

finding itself with heartache,

desperately lacking the ways,

that loved ones have said,

"i don't love you anymore"
128 · Aug 2019
A'Tuin
charles Aug 2019
how brave you are,
to hold that weight upon your back,
yet pretend it doesn't exist.
so fresh, your world,
you shut your eyes.
dreaming of a different life.
lose yourself to simple thoughts,
you worry wart,
perfection curved.
not good enough to see your worth.
127 · Dec 2022
giving up again
charles Dec 2022
my veins are on fire,

i want to disappear,

anything to keep you here,
127 · Jan 2022
flowers for my brain
charles Jan 2022
that blurry eyed blushing color,

paints the sky at the back of my head,

knowing limbs of mine are in pain.

pressed against you again and again.

but a whole army,

couldn't keep me refrained.

bolting waist deep in the trees,

searching for suffering and identity.

spraying words that staple me.
127 · May 2022
waterfalls on jupiter
charles May 2022
every tear on my bedsheet,

could replace a whole ocean,

i hope it retains the emotion,

of my world falling apart,

like a canvas without art,

or my fingers without splinters,

longest summers without winter,

all my love, just without her,

every thing, every where,

ended by a pair of scissors.
125 · Jul 2019
i'm not drunk
charles Jul 2019
you're a mess,
you should depart.
these feelings,
though good,
weren't built for new starts.
you're still breaking,
all these broken hearts.
you want to throw them all for peace,
some love was all i thought i needed,
never knew I'd leave behind,
the things i loved, for simple lies:

I'm not drunk,
I'm doing just fine.
125 · Aug 2021
wishful thinking
charles Aug 2021
through time and heavened hell,

i am gripping thread,

that could lead me to you,

where life and stars,

could not conceive you.

still waiting for space,

where you can arrive.
125 · Feb 2022
stupid love (isn't always)
charles Feb 2022
when you came for my last name,

i drank a full lake,

wondering and wandering,

what such loving arms could take;

take my face and bank account.
125 · Mar 2022
the eye // the storm
charles Mar 2022
perfectly circular,

gravity will take you away.

i plan every night,

just to get through each day,

replacing my loss,

what could make you stay?

~

im the captain of my two feet,

i couldn't steer a breeze from a storm,

but i can leave a broken mess,

turn all your debris into a dress,

flurried away, feeling less.
123 · Sep 2019
temperance
charles Sep 2019
i want to see you,
when the clouds arent there.
someone i hold so dear,
blessed by a natural fear.

i don't regret those goodbyes,
our intentions and loose ties,
its easier to believe,
your whole soul was a lie.

count the seconds,
felt like hours,
now I'm up,
eyes can open,
kept them closed,
soul i've broken,
slow escape from,
graves it woke in.
123 · Feb 2022
until you get tired of me
charles Feb 2022
she carries showers,

suspiciously meant to melt me down.

does she know,

she's all i need to stick around,

when my head hits the ceiling,

and my heart hits the ground.

her eyes replace all the sounds,

yet she always sees me come apart,

too ****** up to stare at stars.

I'll stand where you stand instead,

until you get tired of me.
charles May 2022
my life began at twenty-one,

i was myself for twenty years,

now i struggle just to be here.

my life restarts at twenty-four,

my soul was held and long-ignored,

my friends were loved and so adored.

my life restarts at twenty-nine,

i live with what i left behind,

i tried to try and treat me kind,

a year ago i dropped the knife,

i struggle with a silent vice,

it keeps me warm, it holds me tight,

i give it all my darkest nights.
123 · Jun 2021
if
charles Jun 2021
if
if i could make you the glowing moon,

tying heart strings to a fool,

holding a thousand chances,

i'd still chain myself to loving you.
123 · Dec 2018
god will love me some day
charles Dec 2018
I hope you read this,
you don't know I need this,
just a little peace of mind,
but I am nothing.
and nothing some times,
is better than something.
least of all,
I'm something,
someone some day will sing.
122 · Jul 2021
when i get myself together
charles Jul 2021
when my demons closed shop,

it will be humid and hot,

but my soul's a bit colder,

and my mind not as shocked.

when your face becomes love,

finally feeling at home.

when i can say no to a drug,

or a drink and some sin.

marry me on paper,

i wont know when to say when,

help me bury the past,

lead me where to begin.
121 · Jan 2021
a life undone
charles Jan 2021
your smile used to be a sun.

went out when i was drunk.

embraced the dark until i saw

the color black

the black that all my life becomes.

what color is a life undone?
120 · Nov 2019
your pedestal
charles Nov 2019
october holds my soul,
i'll never be sober,
growing older and older,
dont let me shake alone,
i shouldnt have,
i know, i know.

please be more than words on screen,
try to see a better side of things,
i wrote these words,
you wouldn't read.
in case you are,
your pedestal,
is next to me.
it's missing you,
when i can't breathe.
i wish you stayed,
i couldn't leave.
120 · Apr 2019
a sober sentry
charles Apr 2019
i hope that you're still reading this,
a small hope if you're needing it;
you count your numbers,
breathing in,
you rollercoast emotions while,
remembering to breathe again.
you wish your hands,
weren't paper thin,
while holding up the world times ten.

just know that i am listening,
i hope you know i'm listening.
120 · Mar 2021
you in reverse
charles Mar 2021
like a storm in reverse,

you're the best that I heard.

not the thunder and flash,

but the sound of your love,

like a tin-roof crash.

I'd trade my life for it to last,

so many times until it passed.

and it should pass.

but it should pass.

will it pass?
119 · Mar 2019
old pride
charles Mar 2019
who are you,
to shake my small world.
to upturn the ground,
when you're not around.
the hate that i hold,
i will slowly let go,
i can change you from friend,
to someone i don't know.
though the fire's still young,
it is one that will lull.
like the pride that stands strong,
will, in time, become old.
119 · Nov 2018
agoraphobia
charles Nov 2018
if you see me, i am scared,
when you don't, i appear,
but an empty room, i'll also fear,
my thoughts of self, can't help but care
118 · Jul 2021
falling in love with fire
charles Jul 2021
i'll love you always,

without knowing my worth,

lying to myself without knowing yours

holding these scars and all.

i dont know who you are

but the next one I meet

i want to stand where I can see

never running when my life is hard

our flaming minds,

falling deep in torrential seas,

still hoping you can love me.
118 · Nov 2022
short miscellaneous eulogy
charles Nov 2022
you appeared as a stranger,

you stayed as a mother,

you left as a stranger.
117 · Jul 2019
hospital bracelets
charles Jul 2019
you sat in my pew,
just to hear what I'd say,
you waited in rain,
but you stayed, all the same.
i told you goodnight,
knew you wouldn't believe,
then you walked out the door,
carved initials in trees.
we made our way home,
but i wasn't myself,
and you asked me what's wrong,
to the ground, then i fell.
i woke to your hand,
you are all that i need,
if you left, then I'd leave,
you're the best thing I've seen.
charles May 2023
i don't mind that you left,

i don't mind where i am,

i just hate what i do,

to get over the end.
116 · May 2019
favorite color
charles May 2019
i'll paint all your flaws,
in your favorite color,
so loving yourself,
is never a bother.
116 · Jan 2022
i dont know
charles Jan 2022
hearts were meant to break,

i don't know if yours ever did,

but i know what it's like without you.
116 · Apr 2022
madness, in nine lives.
charles Apr 2022
loneliness cures syrup,

im mush without you,

fighting thoughts in my head,

biding life, while your life is the glue.

what i lost a long time ago is you.

maybe ego is a freedom,

breathing meaning in a wound,

but as lost as white vans,

i might know what could be true.
115 · Mar 2022
when i drink,
charles Mar 2022
be my savior and victim,

only blurry eyes see both,

spent my whole life,

swimming in a broken pool,

stick by my side,

who is truly the fool?
114 · Jan 2019
fear of good
charles Jan 2019
when i heard,
those silly words,
that slipped your mouth,
i took to heart,
their honesty,
I was devout.
now i walk,
a path without,
weary of the skies to shout.
surely luck,
if I'm bestowed,
will suddenly say my name aloud.

and that will be enough.
114 · Dec 2021
anniversary
charles Dec 2021
i'll remove my hands,

from the bottom of your heart,

losing sight of my soul,

while i swallow the poison,

posing to be the one you would marry,

like it was ever an option.
114 · Apr 2019
****
charles Apr 2019
hold on my arm,
settle my scores,
turn me to you,
muddle the truth,
tell me i'm used,
love when i lose.
nobody here,
settle with stares,
say not a word,
suddenly scared.
rarely a tear,
crosses my face,
busy with failing,
loving the chase.
choosing my words,
fill me with stress,
burn me at stake,
then take off your dress.
114 · Oct 2019
something in october
charles Oct 2019
I could not explain my nights,
or all my mental fights,
and though i tried,
I nod my head,
avert your eyes.

just waiting for this thing to die.
113 · Dec 2019
just stay in bed
charles Dec 2019
stay in bed all day,
i know you'll be okay,
as long as you can say,
'I'll be okay',
you know you wont,
but that's okay,
you'll stay in bed,
all day today.
112 · Oct 2021
changing
charles Oct 2021
i keep changing rooms,

just to spin away from you,

only hoping you can hold me down,

carrying tons for you.

so you stick around,

fighting men in your crowd.
112 · Mar 6
seasick
charles Mar 6
i'm on my own island,

swallowing saltwater for comfort,

but my happiness lies,

a few inches from shore.
112 · Oct 2018
flying without eyes
charles Oct 2018
where do you walk on a blurry night?
lonely, in love, and full of flight.
but how do you fly without your own eyes,
when all of your truth have always been lies?
112 · Oct 2018
first step
charles Oct 2018
Anxiety is trying me, bottles tend to bury me. What it is is what it means, my poor attempts at being free. Just know I struggle mentally, and being drunk is comforting, so cover me in company,

sobriety,

it hides from me.
111 · Jan 2021
story so far
charles Jan 2021
and if all the stars ever fade away,

i'd lie and say I'll be okay.

that marble moon would maybe stay.

and if that moon would fade away,

I'd lie and say I'll be okay.
111 · Jul 2021
breakup
charles Jul 2021
she chose to chase her demons,

while i stayed to fight mine.
charles Aug 2021
it felt like i was lying for nine lives,

but its only been forty seconds.

only i have the gift to fix my mistakes,

with something slightly less wrong.

but no God can repaint the faces

i spent drinking countless chasers,

just to forget and find nothing at all.

all the while, you cried then i cried,

and if i could hold fire,

i'd be the first to turn into ash.

and if you had a voice

for the rest of this story,

you would say nothing at all,

comfortably away from this black hole

but on its outskirts,

on a desperately fleeing star,

im laid down on a lawn chair,

with a bit too much to drink.

counting each second

for a ride I'm too scared to try,

afraid of the direction my soul will go.

until then I will cuddle each meteor,

and cocoon in their craters,

praying to the unforgivable

atmosphere

that the cosmos can recreate

you.
111 · Jan 12
an irish goodbye
charles Jan 12
a kin of mush before we met,

remain as much inside my head,

reborn in every word i ever said;

for where these things, they ever go,

i pray they find a quiet home.
110 · Dec 2021
the lover / the addict
charles Dec 2021
i hope you know, i pray for you,

as far as i can get from you,

I see when i was in love with you,

remember when i was losing you?

replayed it every night to get to you.

regretting things i did for you,

forgiving things you said were true.
110 · Oct 2019
writing on walls
charles Oct 2019
with such words in my mouth,
in stead, written on walls.
ignoring every life call.
walk inside my sad room,
i swear there's some truth,
somewhere, obviously you.
i traded my death,
for that burning youth.
take it for granted,
and gradually tuned,
as it shapes in your hand,
all my cuts on my arm,
well, they tragically soothe.
109 · Apr 2022
grateful, in six lines
charles Apr 2022
i never thought i'd be alive,

long enough to see you smile,

but i was, i don't know why,

this ugly one regret of mine:

you saw me at a younger time,

i thought i'd never be alive.
109 · Dec 2019
fell away
charles Dec 2019
some day i'll fall away,
you'll have your space,
you'll have your way,
you'll be okay.
you stayed the same,
the day i fell away.
109 · Dec 2018
untitled 8
charles Dec 2018
i met you.
seeming innocent as me,
But you werent,
shadows doused in a light.
loved you all,
with all my might.
two swollen years before i knew
the broken promise on the roof,
i took the ladder,
thought it through.
You took the things
that made me true.
Next page