expired thoughts of your embrace,
half a lifetime, i have chased,
darkest nights with swollen terror,
that threw away my love and care.
a fool was i to follow rain,
its destination eased the pain.
for granted was that hidden sun,
will morning bring what i have shunned?
the hand i held in early autumn,
bad news that brought me to the bottom,
my anxious mind that wrestled loose,
a patient ceiling without noose,
so all in all, my life's discomfort,
will time itself reveal its own worth?

it felt like i was lying for nine lives,

but its only been forty seconds.

only i have the gift to fix my mistakes,

with something slightly less wrong.

but no God can repaint the faces

i spent drinking countless chasers,

just to forget and find nothing at all.

all the while, you cried then i cried,

and if i could hold fire,

i'd be the first to turn into ash.

and if you had a voice

for the rest of this story,

you would say nothing at all,

comfortably away from this black hole

but on its outskirts,

on a desperately fleeing star,

im laid down on a lawn chair,

with a bit too much to drink.

counting each second

for a ride I'm too scared to try,

afraid of the direction my soul will go.

until then I will cuddle each meteor,

and cocoon in their craters,

praying to the unforgivable

atmosphere

that the cosmos can recreate

you.

maybe the harder it gets,
the more you let go,
the less you remember,
the more that you know.

God, i hope.