she is the corner of this room,

kissed to death and full of doom,

defier of suns, she carries the moon.

a soundless cry,

the world goes on,

one i loved with all my heart.

a pain that brought me to the start.

i swam in stars to lose you,

bleeding, but I'm still glad i met you.

fare well, i'll never be alright.

somehow I'll see you on the other side.

can't show what's on my mind.

just whisper something,

one more time.

some goodbyes are pleasant lies.

nothing's beautiful anymore,

just a way to pass the time.

choking over broken sinks,

singing your name in a bad dream.

happiness is just across the street,

so why do i want to walk into traffic?

better days,

where i don't tear myself apart.

better ways to find a heart.

bodies drop, a million ways.

find a love within their sway.

cold window panes,

pressed across my face,

facing demons,

how they break the warm feelings,

with such hatred, without meaning,

i'm mindful, it's fleeting,

i'm falling, but it's freeing.

pray that each drink,

brings me closer to the stars.

I'll never know who you are.

know you were adored.

i stumbled in,

as easy as i fell out.

swiped your clouds,

when i wasn't allowed.

love is loud,

screams are louder.

silence is unbearable.

still some feelings in my soul,

all those hands i used to hold,

the briefest moments made of gold.

charcoal when i lost it all.

there's some things in our eyes,

that we will never fix.

sweet taste in my mouth,

one i once hated,

nicotine in my chest.

warm feelings were never enough.

alcoholic breath,

such a thing i could never love.

yet i spoke in nightmares,

hoping that my friends would hear.

for a second i thought you meant it,

like you used to.

i thought you would stick around,

but you didn't.

wish i remembered,

the last time you said you loved me.

but i was too drunk.

a movie we would never finish,

lights were low, my soul was dim,

wrapped an arm around your waist,

such uncertainty within your face.

caressed it like i had for years.

i don't regret a single tear.

held you tight while you were mine.

now nothing's left but nine lines.

and maybe that's alright.

please stop.

come back.

i hate myself.

i don't care.

i tried to **** myself.

i wish i knew myself.

i'm scared.

i'm not alright.

*******.

god, don't leave me.

i wonder where you go,

drift away to the back of my mind.

carry my conscious,

making my lies.

pity my soul,

you won't write these lines.

i think about it all the time.

i have all that i need,

such a plan for my head,

all your words are just dreams,

where i wish i was dead.

funny,

how they put you in that bottle,

press you to my lips,

like the neck i would carefully throttle.

twenties, an infinity,

i could never follow.

i wasn't whole when i met you,

now i'm nothing,

and lacking the truth.

burning inside,

with an impervious noose.

youth is:

the days you live to chase away.

anything to keep you sane.

vices are a petty game.

take care of your friends,

tie your loose ends,

make it right,

stare at the stars while they're bright.

lie to yourself and carry on.

i'll repeat,
be a different thing.
drunk until i can't see.

I'll love you the same,
pity me but keep your sanity.
replace your face with petty things

goodbye,
to suns i couldn't see,
so long to words you didnt mean,
the ones you said so lovingly.

good night,
to moons i'll never hold,
live long and grow old.

if i loved you,

then i would have stopped.

your imprint on my wall,

a feeling i can't feel at all.

you turned into a grain of salt,

nothing's gained without the fall,

the bottom,

all i ever saw.

erase you from my body,
turn me off,
throw a match and light me.
brighter than a single star,
dark as dirt in midnight.

i don't know anymore.

darkest corners pity me,
broken soul at twenty-three,
strangers fake in love with me.
gave my soul and sanity,
just to find myself,
i couldn't see.

through hardship,

to the stars.

some day,

you will know who you are.

though the ground,

may reflect your worth,

and life, like a breathless curse,

just the stars will remain,

forever yours.

you bought me things,
you dressed up nice.
all i needed was your smile.
hold your hand,
hope you felt you were enough.

i slept on floors,
dreaming you would come back home.
you never did,
you never know.

i'd live a hundred lives,
just to see your eyes,
just a glimpse,
just one time.

fools follow pipe dreams,
but ill see you in the end,
maybe now, maybe then,
we'll start over again.

i wish i knew you,
feeling left alone,
my life is like a traffic cone,
you leave, and now I'm all alone.
I'll see you when the sun snows.

worth the words,
I made my own.
so i make,
my words alone.

i loved you more than you knew,
i'm scared to lose,
a single thought of you,
but losing things is nothing new.

i wish i lied,
and hid the truth.
i wish i kept my pain from you,
but loving you was nothing new.

i wish you stayed,
you kept my soul.
i loved you most,
some things I will never know.

so it goes.

a frightened moon,
saw a little bit of dawn,
not much different from dusk,
but the night took its awe.

my soul sung,
'take me home',
but the sun had its way,
and gave me just another day.

but i loved the moon,
it was always hers,
some day the stars will make it yours.

i am a man.

i didn't make that post.

i didn't sing that song.

i didn't write that poem.

i didn't make that video.

then who am i?

a cold, snowy night,

at your bus stop.

for a lifetime, i could stay.

holding my bottles,

i could be okay.

but i will never see you,

not your shadow, not another day.

so i will turn the other way,

a world apart,

our hearts remain.

spent my days,
breaking apart,
aching always,
bleeding heart.

i see you at the start,
screaming stop,
dont want to feel this anymore.

take your eyes,
your favorite words,
a famous turn,
never mine,
make it yours.

i miss your arms,
with naught to care,
loving letters,
god, who the hell cares.

i wish i knew where you were,

the kind of love that hurts,

every night knowing im not yours.

every thought, just a curse.

watch you fade away as time turns.

every loved thing about you burns.

carry you in a heart-shaped urn.

forever mine,

but never yours.

killed you,
just for someone else.
left to feel nothing else.
leap until you're someone else.
time that made me someone else.
drinks erase just how i felt.
poetry is nothing else.
happy with the way i melt,
addicted and I'm nothing else.

i never planned to be there,
i was blessed and so unsure,
never thought,
I'd have my hands in your hair.
erase a thousand things,
take away your smile,
ways to walk a million miles,
thoughts i dream,
to leave behind.

i drink to see your pretty face,
one i can't look at these days.
long to see your long hair,
if it's long,

if you're still there.

a fool who thought he was in love,
don't deserve the sounds she made.
shunned and raced from cave to cave.
in darkness, where a man was made.

once, the sun was her and her alone.
then she called from the moon,
i said I'll never be a sober man,
now i search for her lights on my own.

please don't let me die alone

best friends,
mid-twenties,
met our loving breath.
living just to lose what's left.

drinks replaced my self-respect,
but every moon, i can't regret.
traditions in the stones, they sit.
dreams that only beckon death.

written words i could have said,
wish i could have fixed your head,
miss you more than any friend,
forever loved,
my favorite mess.

drinks to see your silhouette,
sell your lies into your arms,
sightless, seeking self-harm.
sanity, a fake alarm.

a widower until my death,
breaking under every breath,
loved you to the very edge,
held until there's nothing left.

i died before i met you,
broken lungs, my muted truth.

I didnt love,
to pull your hair.
i didnt love,
to hold your neck

i loved what others left.

no amount of sunrises,
no amount of chirping birds,
no amount of smiling faces,
will ever make it alright.

I'll take my life, eventually,
i gave away my love and friends,
the simple things that made me.

it's not like you to need somebody,
it's not like you to cry for me.
it's not like you to turn around.

i'd suffer just to see you once,
i'd suffer just to hear your voice,
i'd suffer just to feel a lie,
i'd suffer just to say goodbye.

i'm dying without a voice,
falling in a loving void,
holding onto helen's troy,
tried to find a truth in noise.

****** me down in dark waters,
your smiling waves, abrasive,
hold myself, my soggy skin.

back when pictures were pictures,
not a way to make money,
models monetizing,
souls no longer appetizing,

phones making liars out of us.
decent people falling in lust.
finding meaning in holes.
bodies falling for tolls.
morals murdered and null.

stapled hearts to brevity,
handled pain with levity,
losing sleep, levitate me.
leave me broke then love me.

walk with broken bones,
searching for a warm home.
heartbeat with no breath,
life, flashing thoughts of death.

colors swelling in my ears,
noises falling from my eyes,
years of this that no one hears.

hidden second chances,
holding hands,
emancipate the pain,
pressing close to walls,
wordless while the floor falls,

just to find,
that you were standing all along.

it's hard to see your halo dim,
your heart,
i left my knife in.
sold your love,
for a second.

anxiety,
i left you lies,
just to see a pretty sky.
i see you with another guy,
infinity, my pain disguised.
i loved you,
and i hope i die.

night time,
nineteen cuts on my arm,
stumbling to my car,
wanting more.

traffic lights,
brighter than any star at night,
pray, so one can end my life.

too quiet for too long,
trying to speak in song,
carrying cryptics,
to the ones i love.

i wish you knew how i feel,
fighting my demons,
while missing you.
losing my job,
cause im searching for you.

shaking alone in our room,
reaching for our moon.
throwing my life,
like there's nothing to lose.

let me live or let me die,
i won't limit myself to six lines.
i can't hold it in,
though i tried,
just to spill my heart to stranger's eyes.

in my dreams i swam to you,
currents kept me in refrain,
thought I heard you say hello,
greatest voice I've ever known.

scream until the doors close,
cancer kept inside a rose,
cancelled common prose,
keen and comatose,
demons swell inside my home,

suicide is not a joke.

only youth,
say 'when in rome'.

companions over cups of coffee,
kept compassions from ourselves,
quiet words we tossed,
into a mutual hell.

i dont care about your hair,
i see careless and restless,
each lie in your eyes,
you can't see in yourself.
skin is easy to tear,
where is your heart at?

it's easy to love,
leniently leaning towards each soul.
last longer than years,
then you can dress me impressed.

loving you,
love myself less,
falling into negatives,
every heart needs a rest.

sleep by yourself,
lower your dress,
pour love in intent,
keep a promise you meant.