i made a grain of sand,

my world for twelve months,

to tell myself,

I'm only young once.

my face was wet,

I placed my bets,

then every one i loved left.

thought i knew at least one thing,

every word i've never seen.

I'll love the dark,

until the light it brings.

slowly poisoned,

in love with the clouds,

sunny days that are loud,

wont seem so terrible now.

i love you,

but for once its allowed.

one day you'll miss this sound,

when i feel like I'm not around.

i'd live another life,

to not know who you are.

I'd trade your face,

for a midnight bar.

the kind that blacks out the stars,

nothing will hurt worse,

than what i did to you.

no self-consoling,

ever came through.

i decided,

i dont want to know the truth.

whatever love is,

or what made me hold onto you.

you're my ticket out,

one i wish I could lose.

like a place of transportation,

would ever appear in this room.

cage me for years and call it soon.

with nothing but myself to lose.

how do i send you to the clouds?

when your life was ran into ground?

does it even matter now?

i saw you once in town.

some day I'll turn you into nouns.

something like love,

or something less loud.

be bold as a flame,

I'll never see you again,

but I'll love you in a flicker.

like a moment i couldn't trick,

but you're my favorite,

among such unknown company.

but its there,

like you're not,

I'll spend eternity unraveling,

this knot.

the white of a door,

never felt lonelier,

than your face imprinted,

from a long lost sun.

for a year i carried each second.

like a wreck,

who knows nothing else.

i still dream you sober.

wishing you could come over,

for a minute, be a lover.

all my dreams are three-leafed,

always missing a clover.