the moment that it touched my lips,
my body breathes and starts to shake.
i drank so that i wouldn't shake.
i break each thing that i create.
the things i love, they learn to hate.
the words i mean, i never say.
the words i say to make you stay.
i'll never change a single thing.
i'll never hold that halo ring.
i'll always feel that bitter sting.
i always felt that you were me.
i threw a rope into that tree.
i jumped to see if i believed.
i saw my knees begin to swing,
in death i found i wasn't free.

and then i woke,
i tried to breathe.

i see your smile in dog eyes,
i hear your laugh in jokes i try.
i feel your soul besides my bed.
i try to breathe inside my head.
just take my life, it's yours to keep.
you're married to the time i sleep.
i'm reaching out, without your reach.
i hang on ledges screaming 'leap'.
my tangled thoughts of loving you,
i trade my fantasy for truth,
i change my loss for loving you.
i wish our love was deja vu,
each time you leave,
I'm loving you.

for a second i forget,
amending all of my regret.
upset that we would never make,
that dallas trip, we won't attempt.
i wish that i could know myself,
i wish my family knew,
how hard it is for me to breathe.
i wish i woke and wasn't me.
i wish you knew how much,
i wasn't me.
our love was my attempt to try,
but in the end i lived a lie.
i loved you more than my own life.
each breath i take, I'm not alive.
i prayed to god with nothing left.
he told me 'take a drink then drive'.
my friends say hey, I don't reply.
i struggle just to get a job in time.
i sit on floors and fake sublime.
i breathe then break, i say I'm fine.
i wish that i could be more kind.

I could not explain my nights,
or all my mental fights,
and though i tried,
I nod my head,
avert your eyes.

just waiting for this thing to die.

with such words in my mouth,
in stead, written on walls.
ignoring every life call.
walk inside my sad room,
i swear there's some truth,
somewhere, obviously you.
i traded my death,
for that burning youth.
take it for granted,
and gradually tuned,
as it shapes in your hand,
all my cuts on my arm,
well, they tragically soothe.

write me, in your eyes.

tell me i can be good again.

promise death is not the end.

to live and love for all my friends.

don't let those fleeting moments,

fly for too long

i don't recall,
the words i wrote on here.
it all was built,
on drinking,
and a little fear.

but you,
your words,
i want to know.
so wake me in a morning's glow.
don't let me down,
or let me go.

i know it's cheap,
but let me keep,
the things that help my sanity.
i know i'll quit,
i told you so.
some things work out,
and some just don't.
but you're that angel in the snow,
that dying, fleeting hope,
i pray each night to hold.