i don't recall,
the words i wrote on here.
it all was built,
on drinking,
and a little fear.

but you,
your words,
i want to know.
so wake me in a morning's glow.
don't let me down,
or let me go.

i know it's cheap,
but let me keep,
the things that help my sanity.
i know i'll quit,
i told you so.
some things work out,
and some just don't.
but you're that angel in the snow,
that dying, fleeting hope,
i pray each night to hold.

i saw your worried face,
so full of things we couldn't say.
between my lines,
you find your name,
the perfect days,
don't stay the same.
i'm sorry,
took your love in vain.

you made me insecure,
while you took what wasn't yours.
drunk driving, blurry turns,
all i used to be was yours.

never sober more than a week,
a single thought makes me weak,
day drinking in a one-room,
scaring friends, breaking walls,
wishing walls were you.

gave your body to someone else,
while i fought with myself,
seeking peace, tried to breathe,
all i needed was help.

all these thoughts, shouldn't dwell,
found myself in this hell,
said some words, couldn't tell,
loving honestly in that hotel.

i held hard to the glass,
holding on to my past,
left a bruise with my love,
knowing love wouldn't last.

an ocean shines like gold,
in sunlight like a fleeing thought,
feeling things the summer taught.
falling down like fading leaves,
pray the demons leaving me.
shot the stars, i couldn't miss,
i saw the lie in God's intent.

an addiction wrapped,
in timeless dates,
from the days that you stop,
to the moment you start.
all the words to yourself,
swollen full with such heart,
surrendered to demons,
never knew who you are.
all the trauma you hold,
just to feel the cold ground,
every voice that you made,
when you weren't around.
an apology with no reason,
your hand declared treason,
like all things i once lost,
watched my mood,
change like seasons.
said i wouldn't,
while i did,
hung on words that you said,
left my words for the dead,
just to keep you in my head.

i want to see you,
when the clouds arent there.
someone i hold so dear,
blessed by a natural fear.

i don't regret those goodbyes,
our intentions and loose ties,
its easier to believe,
your whole soul was a lie.

count the seconds,
felt like hours,
now I'm up,
eyes can open,
kept them closed,
soul i've broken,
slow escape from,
graves it woke in.

i was Everything,
that I promised,
i would never be.