the books never read,
all alone on a shelf.
your thoughts on my wall,
words i never could tell.
my bed was unmade,
while i enjoyed the floor,
all the love that you had,
muted knocks on my door.
every screen remained black,
like a story cut short,
scented shirts in my closet,
from a soul i adored.
every night spent in illness,
by the morning was cured.

how brave you are,
to hold that weight upon your back,
yet pretend it doesn't exist.
so fresh, your world,
you shut your eyes.
dreaming of a different life.
lose yourself to simple thoughts,
you worry wart,
perfection curved.
not good enough to see your worth.

down goes the world,
the only kind you ever knew,
skies felt grey,
in the truest of blue.
your mind was lost,
you dimmed all your fire,
you held to each thought,
as each one felt much lighter.
all things have collapsed,
your breath of relief,
the sky was now broken,
your words now unspoken.

i once saw things that weren't there,
but so apparent to you.
laid my belly on cool ground,
while ignoring the view.
a bruise was a bruise,
didn't care how it formed,
i laid listlessly in tact,
while my floor was destroyed.
i kept calm when i wasn't,
saved my voice for closed walls,
i walked miles through my thoughts,
without walking at all.
i wrote words with such meaning,
with my meaningless drink.
the higher the number,
the deeper i sank.
carved regrets in my arm,
that i once couldn't say,
turned my days to bad nights,
just to keep things the same.
i drove drunk late at night,
just to feel like a ghost.
never felt so alone,
as i crawled my way home.

i broke and i built,
and i gave you my all,
while you left me a dream,
that i could not recall.
though i loved when I could,
like your God always would,
don't you cry when its gone,
loved you just as I should.

you loved while you lost,
you laughed and you smiled,
while under a knife,
too drunk just to drive,
you fought 'one more time's.
the bottom is there,
but wind in your hair,
you're falling but honest,
your words they still hear.
your breath is a blessing,
and beautifully here.
you're broken but bound,
always carried by sound,
your loved ones are proud,
that you're still around.

you found a future,
i helped you find.
you sawed my nerves,
i left to die,
but still alive
so, yes i try,
but not for you,
still feel your lies.