from crows gazing down on you with anger
comes humming birds that'll raise your heart with surprises
from hornets coming at you like a maniac's chainsaw
comes buzzing bees that'll bring you joyous and luscious honey
from thunderstorms throwing thunderclaps
comes drizzling waves of soothing sounds with each tap of droplets from the window
from dampened lakes on the corner of our heart
comes a deep and divine sea of kindness and prosperity
of you and your flower field mind

am i really that bad?
am i really that unlovable?
for people to think that everything i say is a joke?
for people to think that my feelings are just for comedic purposes?
i'm not that bad, believe me
but **** it
it's useless for me to yap on about this *******
you'd still treat me like ****

through my ears, there's this ringing silence
silence that can make my ears bleed
silence that can turn my eyes dark
and as i slip to a state of sadness and pure insanity
i realize that we can never speak
and it makes my heart ache
for slowly, my sanity and mental health, steadily
declines itself
here i am, laying
grieving
thinking, about what it would be like to be with someone like you
but then reality hits, that maybe we may never be
together
now, all i can render are your photos
photos of you and your optimistic smiles
then, i haven't noticed that i'm slowly killing myself
for sadness is consuming me, ever so slowly
maybe it is true, of a young poet's unrequited love
you're the subject of a young poets unrequited love

still longing for a dreadful accident
with my life, clinging on to such a thin line

i'm ******* losing myself
i'm ******* losing myself again
and all i could ever think about is death
the sweet idea of death
the joyous idea of my impending doom
and here i am
shackled down by the darkness's cold embrace
staring death with his optimistic grin
playing a losing game of chess with my sadness
with my mind, consumed by the darkness
i'm ******* losing myself
i'm ******* losing myself again

It was all summer and spring once upon a time,
All of me was yours, and all of you was mine
I was aware of your winters as well,
And you were well versed of my hells
But I never knew our inferno would be this kind of gray
The kind where you doubt, whether to leave or to stay.
And we both know this isn't what we called home.
We're stuck in misery,
Running dry in our twilight zone