it's been 5 months
and i still look at your face with disgust
even though we didn't do much but talk
though the words that you said were much more than just "talk"
they were words of lust
words of love
and words of *lies

my eyes are so tired
so sad
my fingernails are chipped
my arms are left with bruises
and scars on my wrists
who could love a boy enough to figure out he was broken
no one

I always fantasied about what I would say to you
The next time I saw you
Spilling my guts in my mind
Saying every word that I hoped inflicted pain towards you
But knowing me
I'd keep my mouth shut and walk away
Somehow still hoping you'd know what I was thinking

I take the street that leads to your house
Hoping you'd see me
And remember all the things
That I tried to forget

What if I finally listened to the trees
Acknowledged what the leaves said to me
Heard what the branches whispered to me
Because they happen to know better than I do