Lo, the stars
Twinkling and winking
To the vocal violin

Lo, blooms of rose,
Pink and plump like the satin
Caress of an autumn eve

Lo, crackles of fire
Warm and invigorating
As a Soul in ocular radiance

Lo, vines alive
Sunlight embracing,
Moonlight dancing.

Lo, the Miracle
Entangled with reality
Yet wondrous inexorably.

Where are you?
Excruciating pain burning me from the inside out
Like a thousand jagged daggers in my heart
All in different directions, all writhing as they slowly dig into my flesh

Where are you?
I need you.
Please extinguish the pain
Heal the scars
Wounds created by distance
Made worse by fear, by despair

Where are you?
I’m so confused
I love you with all of me…
You say I deserve better
But how can I deserve better than the best?

Where are you?
All I want to do is be with you.
Not with any other person on this Earth.

Where are you?
I need you.
I ache without you.
Life is lifeless without you…
Please…..take me back…..
I can’t do this without you…
I’m lost without you….

Please…

Candles burn, candles blaze,
A Soul with a flesh,
An angel not yet matured.

Candles dim, candles fade,
A Soul darkens,
An angel becomes human.

Candles brighten, candles enliven,
A Soul enlightened,
An angel discovers God’s grace.

Candles glow, candles glimmer,
A Soul is Called from flesh,
An angel gains her wings.

Candles’ light, candles’ shine,
Though Souls remain in flesh,
And she in Paradise,
With them, God’s angel still resides.

Candles’ flame, candles’ fire,
Souls of conflict, souls of Love,
God’s healing Peace and Grace be with them
An angel of Heaven above dwelling in their midst.

The flames that stick
The lies that lick
Ten and six years have gone
And yet only now I begin
To find the truth
In scars among the ashes

You hand me truth on a silver platter
Yet you cross your fingers
That the hideous stain on the underside
Will scamper out of sight

The truths have for four less a score
Been the threshold
Of what I thought was real
You raised me in a bed of flowers
And never bothered to remove the paint
As the petals turned to lead

The leaded falsehoods,
The poisons that corrupted,
I wasted my years
Building among the ruins
What I thought was true
Only to have reality
Eat my lungs out

Nothing seems different
Yet nothing is the same
You don’t know I know
You don’t know I’ve forgiven you
You don’t know that the truth of your secret
Eats me alive.

The worst part?
No one can know
Lest war should break out

So what do I do
Now that the lies
Which provided the foundation
Of the reality upon which I grew
Have been exposed?

Where do I run
When I am imprisoned
With nowhere to hide
In the Hell you expect me to call home?

The bane of my childhood,
These bitter truths,
The ones you have forced me
To realize on my own,
They’ve induced
Humiliation and pain,
Rage and suffering,
Disappointment and shame,
In the dignity of the trust
That was once nearing two decades in the making.

But behind even the darkest veil
Doth the bittersweet cloud hide a silver lining.
Thus it’s been concluded:
Neither in this dwelling,
Nor in that of another,
Not even in this world
Lies my home.

Alas, it seems
All mankind is homeless
Lest he find the satisfyingly loving Presence;
That which can be found
Not by sight, nor sound,
Neither touch, nor smell, nor taste.

Still the remarkable untruths of the past remain
They smolder and glare and snicker and jeer
As they burn my heart out

The silver soothes ever so slightly
Only to maintain balance minimal
Equilibrium numbs the agony ever so gently

Yet as I hack out the blood
While your jagged sword is drawn ever so slowly
From the feebly thumping ***** which in my ***** resides,

The toxic smoke of your despicably blatant lies lingers on…

Gun on the table,
Not a soul wills me to speak...
But you, you will listen...

Gun on the table,
Are you really as cold
As they say you are?

Gun on the table,
I sit beside you
And wonder about my life

Gun in my hand,
Will nothing go my way?
Am I trapped in the Vacuum,
The nothingness I call reality?

Gun in my hand,
What is my purpose in life
When every dream of mine is crushed?
Is there really more to life than this?

Gun in my hand,
I think about these things
And I come to realize...
Gun in my hand,
You are not so cold...

Gun at my head,
I wonder what it's like
On the other side
Never to see this world again

Gun at my head,
Is this it?
A simple quiver of my finger
Is all it takes...

Gun at my head,
What will happen after?
Will it all have been in vain?
Is this the only way?

Gun in my hand,
What am I to do?
Nothing has ever been right,
But will that be for good?

Gun in my hand,
What about the ones I love?
Will they mourn for my loss
Or scorn for the life I lived?

Gun in my hand,
Why do I not have the power
To take myself away?
Where is the strength I thought I had?

Gun on the table,
It is here, the strength I have,
For now I see that it is not in death,
But living.

Gun on the table,
I now realize,
The life I have to live,
The precious, God-given gift,
Is only given once.

Gun on the table,
I have so much to live for,
The simple beauty of the world
Will set me free,
And the sun will come out
After the storm.

Gun on the table,
Not a soul wills me to speak...
But you, you will listen...

Gun on the table,
Are you really as cold
As they say you are?

Gun on the table,
I sit beside you
And wonder about my life

Gun in my hand,
Will nothing go my way?
Am I trapped in the Vacuum,
The nothingness I call reality?

Gun in my hand,
What is my purpose in life
When every dream of mine is crushed?
Is there really more to life than this?

Gun in my hand,
I think about these things
And I come to realize...
Gun in my hand,
You are not so cold...

Gun at my head,
I wonder what it's like
On the other side
Never to see this world again

Gun at my head,
Is this it?
A simple quiver of my finger
Is all it takes...

Gun at my head,
The trigger is slowly compressing,
Take me away,
Release me into the darkness....

What are these tears?
The ones that wear away
The skin upon my face?
The ones that give strength
Or reveal weakness?
The ones which come
Reason or not?

What are these tears?
Which come at night
When minds dwell in the day?
Which hardly come by day
When distractions prevail?
Which are relieved by sleep
And driven by life?

What are these tears?
Be they love or rage?
Be they pain or joy?
Be they the thriving leaps
Of an exultant heart?
Or be they remanents
Of a soul left to die?