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Mar 2014 · 377
Comfort (20w)
Julia Mar 2014
Wipe those soft tears away, darling
I'm always here to remind you:
There will be hope for one more day.
*jm
Mar 2014 · 343
Blinded
Julia Mar 2014
Preparing herself in the early morning hours
Burning her hair into intricate curls
Taking minutes upon minutes to decide on a color of eyeliner that they'd appreciate
As the hours tick by
I have to wonder when and why
The world decided what beauty and appeal was
Washing his, hers, and all of our minds
With the ***** lies that say we aren't beautiful in our own skin
When did this happen?
Will it ever end?
*jm
Mar 2014 · 437
Silence
Julia Mar 2014
All of the hopeful thoughts buried deep inside of your mind
Have escaped through closed lips at all of the right times.
You know what you want to say,
The moments have risen countless times.
Yet, the words remain unspoken
Time after time.
*jm
I'm growing tired of not having the confidence to speak up. I think it's time for that to change.
Mar 2014 · 700
Too Young
Julia Mar 2014
You were so young
Oh, so young
Why did it have to be you?
We may never understand
The timing of The Lord
It's safe to say that this time
I will never understand
You were so young
You were so loving
And you were loved
I never wanted to see
All of those people gathered
In that too small church
For that reason
You were so young
None of us down here
Will ever forget you up there
A privilege to know you
A blessing beyond compare
To know that being your
Friend,
Sister,
Daughter,
Granddaughter,
Niece,
Lover,
And everything in between
Meant having memorable times
And endless laughter
Now there are just tears
You were too young
*jm
One smile from her could brighten anyone's day. I'd give anything to see it again.
Mar 2014 · 330
Never Ending
Julia Mar 2014
I want to dance in the moonlight
Until its glow radiates no more
I want to gaze upon endless stars
Until they deteriorate into oblivion
I want to see myself reflecting in your eyes
Until they close on that final day

Even when the shimmering lights fade
And darkness consumes the light of day
Even when the stars are devoured
By reasons unknown to man
Even when beautiful beings pass away
And time lapses and it feels as though nothing can ease the pain

My love for you shall remain
*jm
Mar 2014 · 319
One Year Ago Today
Julia Mar 2014
We'd be walking the Florida roads
That first day of our endless vacation
With your father and your sister keeping enough distance behind us
As your hand entwined with mine underneath that beating sun
With palm trees lining the streets
Feeling as though we were walking in a dream.

I didn't realize then
That dreams of you would turn out to be all I'd have to rely on
Just to see that look on your face
When we snuck down from that balcony suite
To swim underneath the array of gleaming stars,
And you whispered that you loved me as we floated in the current, holding on to what we knew was a finite moment.

Every single one of those moments,
From cautiously stepping into the salted waters,
Accepting the fact that we were tourists and collecting seashells was a must,
Letting my elation take over as I serenaded the artists playing on the radio,
To climbing up to the roof to watch the sun set on our last night in paradise
Will stay molded in my memory for eternity.

When I look back on those six endless days,
All I can imagine is your smile fixated on everything surrounding you.
I don't believe that either of us had ever felt so free.
I do believe that those six days
Were the last six days
Of our true happiness.
It was easy to be happy in a carefree world that wasn't our own.

These memories don't make
Being reminded of the fact that I'm no longer yours
And you're no longer mine any easier,
And those Florida nights during spring
Are nothing but the waves, washing unto shore, never returning.
*jm
I wake up one day believing I've let go. And then nights full of emotions and memories take control.
Mar 2014 · 672
Maybe
Julia Mar 2014
We all, at some point in our lives, come across those songs-with
The melodies that seem so bland,
The rhythms that we can't stand,
The lyrics that repeat themselves with no meaning attached,
The dynamics that are out to attack,

And then we come across those songs-with
The melodies we can't get out of our minds,
The rhythms that remind us to push forward at all times,
The lyrics that explain what we were unable to,
The dynamics that help to bring out how we're feeling inside,

Maybe the people we come across throughout our lives
affect us in these ways, too.
*jm
Mar 2014 · 481
Al
Julia Mar 2014
Al
Sometimes,
Words aren't the only cure to the brokenness we feel inside.
Sometimes,
Notes connecting to one another
Forming the words we can't always speak
Are all we need to hear to save us.
So even though
There are words I'd like to scream,
Scream so loud you'll hear from night until day,
I'll pick up my saving grace.
I'll let the plucking of the strings soothe me, calming the storm inside,
Allowing the tune to carry me
To that familiar home
My only escape
*jm
The title seems irrelevant, but it's the name of my baby, my acoustic guitar. Alvarez=Al (Creative, I know.)
Mar 2014 · 281
Then and Now
Julia Mar 2014
Then,
I had never felt so complete
We loved
So strongly, madly, deeply
And now,
Your absence
I feel
So strongly, madly, deeply
*jm
Mar 2014 · 1.5k
Family
Julia Mar 2014
The gleam in my sister in laws eyes
A mother to be
Is probably the most beautiful thing
That I have ever seen
The excitement in her voice escapes with a tender love, and
Nothing can contain her happiness
Of bringing new life into this world
With the man she fell in love with seven years ago
Such great examples
Are my brother and his bride
They encourage many others to do their best
And to never lose hope of finding the someone that they are for each other
Lovers and best friends
*jm
Mar 2014 · 362
132 Days Later
Julia Mar 2014
I grew accustom to awaiting your arrival each morning.
Hearing my dogs alarming barks as you would approach the door
as I lie in bed pretending to sleep.
The energy, the life you brought upon and within me would surge deep inside of my rapid beating heart as your footsteps approached my closed door.
You were always so gentle as you would turn that copper handle, trying desperately not to wake me
as you'd let yourself into my peaceful, quiet world of "sleep."
I never minded the disturbance, because the disturbance you caused meant I was that much closer to fluttering my tired eyes open to your perfection.
Those mornings, the mornings when you would surprise me with your presence,
come crawling in next to me, softly brushing the ratted hair from my puffy face, whispering, "Good morning, beautiful,"
The mornings that don't exist anymore were the only times I've ever felt truly beautiful in my own, sleep deprived skin.
*jm
Feb 2014 · 766
I Met An Olympian
Julia Feb 2014
His story proved that ordinary people can become extraordinary.
As long as you give your all to the goal you're working towards.

No dream is too big or too small.
You can dream up one single dream that may take a moment to accomplish,
You can dream up a million dreams that may take a lifetime to accomplish.

It's when those dreams are accomplished
That the emotions felt in that moment
Become indescribable.
There's no better feeling, and
There's no better time
Than now.

So dare to dream,
Chase your dreams,
And live your dreams.
*jm
Feb 2014 · 534
Selfish Souls
Julia Feb 2014
How someone so meaningful,
Someone that makes such an impact on your life,
Someone that shows you that there's more to be thankful for,

Can become a complete stranger
Who takes away all of the hope that things can change,
Who turns their back against you,

Will never make any sense to me.
*jm
Feb 2014 · 1.7k
Peace-Haiku
Julia Feb 2014
To grasp so strongly
On our sure faith in this life
Is to know true peace
*jm
Feb 2014 · 314
If Only
Julia Feb 2014
I want to see the city
Brightly gleam at night
I want to feel the presence
Of people full of life
I want my breath to catch
As I gaze upon unending sights
I want new experiences
To escape these familiar frights
Longing for adventures
I'll hope with all my might
To see the city
If only for one night
*jm
Feb 2014 · 367
Leery
Julia Feb 2014
Hearing you say one thing to me
And another to them
Makes me wonder
If what we're building is real
Or if this will just be another crumbling tower
That I put too much effort into building
Only to watch it all come crashing down
Broken to pieces
Once again
*jm
Feb 2014 · 898
Hopelessly Captivated
Julia Feb 2014
I'm pulled in by your silence
Captivated by your mystery
Your charming physique
Your mind unknown
Your character not always shown
Your quiet smile wraps me in warmth
Your deep brown eyes show that there's more
More to you than meets the eye
*jm
Feb 2014 · 271
Have Faith
Julia Feb 2014
Set aside your fears
Let love in
You never know what you'll find
When new things begin

The happiness consumes you
You feel so alive
Overwhelming feelings
All the doubts subside

Don't be afraid to chase your dreams
He'll lead you all the way
You're not alone in this life
I, too, am here to stay
*jm
Feb 2014 · 427
Twisted Dreams
Julia Feb 2014
In his mind, we're "together."
Not official, but not "just friends."
"I understand."
(I assumed the rays of sunshine would bleed through the clouded skies, and
Outshine the darkness.
)

He doesn't want a serious relationship
Fears that it will take away from those he's most passionate about
"I understand."
(Where is his passionate love for me?)

This sport could take him places
He's made the mistake before of growing too attached that it ruined his chances in the past
"I understand."
(He doesn't realize that I'm not the same person that his past love was.)

He claims to only have eyes for me
But he can't lose his focus on his dreams
"I understand."
(You're not ready for a serious relationship
But continue to spend every free moment you have with me.
)

I don't understand.
*jm
Julia Feb 2014
There is a time for everything,
  and a season for every activity under heaven:
  a time to be born and a time to die,
  a time to plant and a time to uproot,
  a time to **** and a time to heal,
  a time to tear down and a time to build,
  a time to weep and a time to laugh,
  a time to mourn and a time to dance,
  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
  a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
  a time to search and a time to give up,
  a time to keep and a time to throw away,
  a time to tear and a time to mend,
  a time to be silent and a time to speak,
  a time to love and a time to hate,
  a time for war and a time for peace.
*Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Jan 2014 · 842
Apprehensive
Julia Jan 2014
Thump   *thump
Is it the fierce beating in your chest?
Or is it fear chasing after you?
Tick   tock
Is it the clock keeping time?
Or is it a reminder of what you're missing?
Boom   boom
Is it the pounding in your head?
Or is it the shots fired at you from behind?
What will you choose
When faced with two choices?
Will you take the easy way out?
Or will you take the chance and face the fear of the unknown?
*jm
Jan 2014 · 1.7k
Crush
Julia Jan 2014
My breath catches inside as you glance my way
My cheeks sore from smiling at our playful banter
My heart skips beats when you look deep into my eyes, as if you're searching for who I am inside
And to think--this is only the beginning
*jm
Jan 2014 · 432
Ready
Julia Jan 2014
On top of the world
Stricken with optimism
Bursting with happiness
I'm ready
To feel free again
To be open to love
No more wasted tears
No more doubts
Prepared to face trials
Pursue forgotten dreams
Live
*jm
Jan 2014 · 776
Daddy
Julia Jan 2014
I miss the days
When I would wake from nightmares
Run to your room and have you there
Protecting me from the monsters in my dreams
I miss the days
When I would mock your actions
As we'd watch the Tigers play
Finally venturing to a live game
I miss the days
When you'd lose it and yell
As you'd coach me
Teaching me to never give up
I miss the days
When a simple hug
Could take the pain away
From young, careless boys that lied
At least I knew I had one strong one always by my side
Those were the days.
*jm
Jan 2014 · 457
Extinguish the Flames
Julia Jan 2014
I know how it feels to be burned
To watch all of your dreams turn to ashes
To ashes
We all fall down...
Now stand up
Wipe off the remnants
Mend the burns from ugly things that were
And breathe in
The fresh, new air
The fire doesn't last forever
*jm
Jan 2014 · 357
Secrets and Lies
Julia Jan 2014
The memories come back
Spitting in my face
Reminding me that I'm a disgrace
All of the courage that I lack

Unable to get through a single day
Without thinking of that look in your eyes
All the expressions held were your empty lies
Always had to have it your way

So afraid of losing me
That you would do anything
Since you knew what the truth would bring
As long as I didn't know and didn't see

Even when I heard from a friend
These things were happening while I was gone
As you'd take puffs in and out, for oh, so long
Funny you hadn't mentioned you were at it again.
*jm
Jan 2014 · 634
It Still Hurts
Julia Jan 2014
I don't miss who you are
I miss who you used to be
I don't want to remember what we were
I want to remember how strong I am
Without you
It's hard to move on
Even harder to see you now
Disappointment consumes me
For ever loving you

Then I remember
The pain that came with that love
The useless fights that never ended
The lies that stayed hidden
Until it was too late
The day I woke up hospitalized, while you were no where in sight
Reminding myself of all of the times I was left feeling I deserved better
Denying it until it was too late

True love still exists
It just wasn't meant for you and I
Heartbreak happens for a reason
Work through the pain, learn from it all
I've heard it so many times
It's finally starting to feel true

So let these snowflakes fall
Cover me in this sheet of
Pure white
Let me hide away from the past
Give me help to escape these nightmares
And finally let go
And give me hope for a better tomorrow
*jm
Jan 2014 · 589
Children.
Julia Jan 2014
After spending time with the children i used to help care for, i'm realizing how much i absolutely love watching every child learn and grow with time, and i love observing what they can become.
i loved helping the youngest girl shop for little toys as she checked the prices on all of them before considering what to buy. i love how big the middle girl's heart is and how she remembers so many little things about the people she cares most for. i love how the eldest girl can go back to being the kid she was when she was with my younger sister when they reunite after months spent apart. i love how their laughter is so contagious and how all of their hugs are so full of love.
They're going to be wonderful women when they grow older. Watching them change and learn how to treat people after being hurt by others words makes me love them even more. The compassion they have for everyone, whether the people are strangers or close friends, inspires me.
And i love the hope they have, their innocence, and how sometimes they don't know any better, so they say what they mean without thinking twice about it. This is what gives me hope for future children and future generations. If three sisters can be this wonderful towards each other and every other person they come into contact with, what's stopping so many other families from growing in the same ways? *jm
Jan 2014 · 364
Lonely Shores
Julia Jan 2014
The waves wash onto shore
Give their quick caress to the sand
Only to withdraw as fast as they came
And lo,
Loneliness sinks in again
*jm
Jan 2014 · 317
True Love
Julia Jan 2014
The way he held her hand
Throughout all of the hard times
Proving that their
                                                                Love
Would live forever
Even when she couldn't remember
Proving that he would
                                                              Never
Give up on his one and only
Sacrificing all he is for all he has
Until the day he
                                                                 Dies.
*jm
For the perfect example that my grandparents were, are, and always will be. <3
Jan 2014 · 562
Carpe Diem
Julia Jan 2014
The opportunities for change have risen.
Seize them
Take the time not to just look, but see.
Seize it
Forget about old days, and remember why you're in this moment,
In this day.
Carpe diem
*jm
Jan 2014 · 575
Strength
Julia Jan 2014
I'll keep living this life God's given me until He takes me home to Him.
Going through all of the ups and downs.
I'll keep breathing in and out until the day I die.
Reminding myself He's by my side.
I'll push forward until I reach the end here.
Knowing that He's leading me through it all.
Jan 2014 · 446
Empty Words
Julia Jan 2014
Nothing's heard
Of the words
Told to the jet black sky.
Nobody listened.
They didn't care.
Too absorbed with material things
I shouldn't have shared.
I always give,
Give,
Give,
Only to have them take,
Take,
Take.
Is that the Holy thing to do?
Is He happy with me?
Or disappointed
Like everyone
Everyone else,
Who I have tried,
to prove wrong,
To make proud.
*jm
Jan 2014 · 995
Shame
Julia Jan 2014
There's nothing I'd rather do
Than take back those times spent with you
Wipe my slate clean
Forget about old dreams
All those mistakes
Wasted days
The manipulation
Overbearing
Never caring
Bitter selfishness
Spent forever
Searching for what I thought I knew
Never thought I'd regret
Learned the hard way
It's ineluctable
Always exposing itself
*jm
Dec 2013 · 524
Him
Julia Dec 2013
Him
I hear Him
In the melody of a song,
The closed eyes and cupped hands of another,
The silence of a prayer.
I see Him
In the rustling leaves,
The rushing water,
The depth in your eyes.
I feel Him
In the room full of praises,
The presence of others,
The whole of me.
A masterpiece of His.
*jm
Dec 2013 · 1.7k
Payback
Julia Dec 2013
Lying still
Aroused by your unexpected
Unwanted scent
Go away
You aren't here anymore
You don't belong
To the strength
Belief
And love
That has pulled me through
This isn't yours
It never was
*jm
Dec 2013 · 291
Night
Julia Dec 2013
All of those nights
That we spent together
Are the nights
I don't want to remember
*jm
Nov 2013 · 396
Anonymous
Julia Nov 2013
You feel so alone
Your broken heart moans
But you don't need him
Just to be loved

You were happy once before
You'll be fine again
Just take my hand and
Let go.

You can still be you
I love what you do
Please try to see
You're lovely to me

Shake it off dear
Just tell me I'll hear
Your heart will mend
Forgiveness you'll send

And this friend
Will always be waiting
Not my words, but I came across this in an unexpected place and it moved me. Maybe it'll move you, too.
Nov 2013 · 436
Untitled
Julia Nov 2013
Another holiday
Another get together
Another special occasion
Another painful memory
Another reminder of his absence

Fireworks bursting in the sky
Tears streaming from her bloodshot eyes
Her heart's exploding
Her mind is drowning

No one
Can see her pain
Hidden in the dark
Trapped
She has no escape
No way out
From the painful,
Overwhelming
Memories of her past

*jm
Nov 2013 · 464
Say Something
Julia Nov 2013
Say something
I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.
*a great big world
Just lyrics. Everyone should listen to this song.
Julia Nov 2013
The forest is no place for a girl
Snowflakes fall and tumble and twirl
Did her parents love her? Did anyone?
She ponders, staring at the setting sun

Her heart pounded in her chest
Parents voices chanting, "Do your best.
Come in first, get good grades."
Each word a sharp and deepening *****
Cutting through her heart and mind
Where on earth could she possibly find
The courage she needs to survive

Because the forest is no place for a girl.

She ran and ran, through the woods
Doing what she thought she could
The day had almost turned to night
She shrilly screams with all her might
She runs, not knowing where to go
The shivering cold, the blankets of snow

The wolves, they cry out to the moon
They surely will be hunting soon
What will she do to stay alive?
How can she live a constant life
Of running from the beasts out there
Knowing they are everywhere
Now she sees they are within,
All her troubles, every sin
It's too late now, she's realized

That the forest is no place for a girl.

Branches start to grab her now
She needs to leave, get out somehow
How could she have been led astray?
She cannot live her life this way!
Each problem now such foolishness
She longs now for a hand's caress
But all she has are chasing beasts
Longing for a human feast

She prays to God, her only choice
With all her strength, with all her voice
"Please save me from the beasts I face
You know that they will win this chase"
She did not know if God had heard
Each and every single word

Now the wolves were all around
She stopped, not making any sound
They looked at her with beady eyes
Staring at their final prize
When suddenly a flash of light
Like ten million suns burning bright
Caused the wolves to run away
Leaving her alone to stay

The light had slowly disappeared
And now a peaceful man appeared
Dressed in white, He walked to her
"You saved my life, didn't you, sir?"

"I did what I knew must be done
I am the Lord, The Three in One."
She clung to Him and silently wept
While He held her and closely kept
Watch over her

For He knows the forest is no place for a girl.

*cc
Nov 2013 · 414
Tear It Apart
Julia Nov 2013
With tears in her eyes
And an ache in her heart,
She grasps the picture
And tears it apart.

*jm
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
Importance
Julia Nov 2013
I'm no writer.
No artist,
No scientist,
No mathematician.
I'm not a genius.
No Galileo,
No Einstein,
No Freud.
I am who I am.
Weird,
Self-conscious,
Caring.
I may not be rich,
Or own an expensive car,
Or buy expensive clothing,
Or live in a glorious home filled with expensive belongings.
I am happy where I am,
With what I have,
With who is with me,
With my life.
I've learned that the most important things
Are not materials,
Not who owns how much of what,
Not how much smarter he is than she.
I believe the most important things
Are what we love,
Who we love,
And the love we have for ourselves.
And I believe
That believing all of this
Is what makes life important.

*jm

— The End —