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Sep 2013 · 642
At My Door
Judson Shastri Sep 2013
One day a dream will come,
bustled up against the cold,
finally
at my door.
It will sit down to tea I've made,
asking serious questions like:
"Do you still want me?"

And I will answer,
in the while it takes to mean "Yes," when staring at a promised face.
Aug 2013 · 872
My Body, Political
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
My body, political,
promotes solitude and sleep
against a restless campaign.
I shy away from relentless investments:
things that are, that will not cease.
My heart aches of its investments,
hankering to break its steady line of deposit
to a vampiric world.
Aug 2013 · 898
Dry Ground
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
So lightly I've left you,
without the storms of detachment.

The river of affection slows to nothing
and dams give watermen no hope.

Yet my craft will assail the dry ground,
adapt
and go,
happy without you
to the shore.

There instead to pursue the sea
and what is constant,
for it loves better.
Aug 2013 · 761
Familiar
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
an early day,

when my eyes awake to the lapping of sunshine.
i feel the tassels of this blanket come lose.
red thread threading through my hands.
thoughts of you heading through my head.

as if you were pulling in,
in that old Ford,
shaking the California from your hair.
all that wilderness and happy rust leaving
a dusty beach in our driveway.

as if you were clunking up the stairs,
familiar,
waiting later to unpack.
Aug 2013 · 501
Discovering the Season
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
To wake,
when the only light is a greasy yellow morning
oiling itself up against the window.
When the door stands,
around the corner and out of sight,
open to the humid comfort of rain today.
To wake.
To see how far I haven't come,
though I do want my life,
and all its stagnant petals,
for the sake of truly ardent ties to the people there.
To wake,
and want death as well.
No more prostrate thinking,
dwelling on the fragrances of lost Edens,
and other things I cannot have.
To wake,
and discover a season
so rid of constants that there are no ports in this storm,
nor lands to call home,
nor even shoals to sink to
in tears.
Aug 2013 · 587
No Fruit
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
There are many places I wish to be,
but foremost of these is further,
further down this road.
Further down my many roads,
not being here, stationary,
with the capacity to learn lacking will.
Desires to rise, stifled by ordinary life.
The rains of every day pour on my limbs,
rooting them to the spot I'm in.
This tree is in the wrong state.
It doesn't move.
No forward motion. No fruit.
Aug 2013 · 996
Dreams Rely
Judson Shastri Aug 2013
The dying gaul,
in my mind,
saw three days of mad war.
Empire had come to batter,
the forests that stood the doors of home.
Swords were run through the woodland gulleys,
making way for culture's end,
for yet more roads to lead to Rome.
And the sculpture speaks,
upon a shield,
of limbs for quieting dreams to rely on.
A veined marble hand kisses lightly to the knee,
saying in some wild, dead tongue:
"Sleep.
So long have you carried me."
Inspired by "The Dying Gaul." Sculptor: unknown.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/The_Dying_Gaul.jpg
Jul 2012 · 4.6k
We Cannot Engineer Well
Judson Shastri Jul 2012
Sometimes they spring up full-blown and disappear as quickly as they came,
phantom slivers of churning mind-scape.
I missed the mist but it found me anyway in the plain regret of mature introspection.
Astigmatisms of bygone days are twenty-twenty today.
But no mind, there's no self-incrimination.
The organic twist of living being, evolving gets made.
And we cannot twist around, and reach into the back-seat to change the past and make the road ahead engineer well.
It's best to live and let decision birth itself into this passing moment fabric-ed as life itself.
By my beloved father, Prem K. Shastri...
One heck of a genius.
Jul 2012 · 524
So As Not to Love Again
Judson Shastri Jul 2012
And in the morning I awoke to the smell of sheets.
The shuttered windows and fan smoked of too much rest.
My eyes had fallen open to a cruel dream.
A bad dream.
A dream that hurt.
Where is she?
So ridiculed as I swept my thoughts with cereal.
Hair unkempt and unwashed,
washed with tosses and turns.
Jul 2012 · 1.3k
Gang War
Judson Shastri Jul 2012
The bees took their brethren back,
veterans of the poppy fields.
I supposed it had been a gang war:
rival hives congregated for the conducting of a quick mess.
The buzzing echo of last hurrahs went back and forth,
ripping through the war-marred air.
All the pomp in young yellow coats was bled out,
the limp black blood of limp bodies staining the survivors with black stripes.
Busy bees,
no pollen-love today,
just the broken hours of cleaning up a quick mess.
Bodies are collected,
damages inspected,
and small minds prepare for the resuming of a honeyed life tomorrow.
Yet, to the wail of queens,
crying in cricket language at mass wakes,
I think to myself:
How many flowers stand awaiting
the coming of lovers that will never come.
Jul 2012 · 1.3k
Love Song of the Fisherman
Judson Shastri Jul 2012
These wayward meets
between us,
bird and fish,
made near the rivers of otterdom
are blessed
quietly now and unassessed
by all the passers by.

You and your parasol in kind,
me and my bare feet,
designed
with a poorer life in mind.
I'd cast my pole again,
whilst you'd set your bread on the bridge's wall
for the doves to come and call
to call and come a'gathering.
Merely pigeons, each,
merely pigeons
one and all.

I'd see your clamped and shut words,
your bitten wail,
amidst your friends of the park-ground pale
dressed in all their flowering frills.
Merely pigeons one and all.

You'd dare sail your eyes to me,
cross the water to meet with mine.
And how the river'd strip away
the face you wore then
and still today.
I could have watched your reflection stay,
feath'ry 'tween the cattails,
fluttering off the water and resting 'gainst my scales.

But a bit of bank under my nails,
says I am much too poor for this.
Much too poor for tales
to remind me when you come to feed,
remembering when I come to catch,
that we are not so different,
though
yes the world would let us know.
Jul 2012 · 483
Wish for Her
Judson Shastri Jul 2012
I had a wish the other day
that felt like so much like a memory
I had to prove it so.
That determined thought
caught the next train
and,
several cabs later,
it reached the archives.

It only took a few minutes,
rummaging through old files and records,
flinging them past my attention,
one at a time,
for that faithful little hippocampian to come through.
"Stop," I said.

The thought paused on the box marked
'Her eyes,'
and my dreams awoke to rush me all at once.
Jan 2012 · 20.2k
Monsoon
Judson Shastri Jan 2012
The rain has not ceased
since it began its ceaselessness;
a day I cannot now remember,
though it was only six ago.
Earth and sky hold mutual watership,
Either general is down and gray.
But held in the eyes that hold –
the beauty of Beholder bold –
is a prettier time of day.
A time I do wish would stay.
I
have not writ so many words
that none more can be written
of this picture's higher worth to me
like spoken love from the mouth of God.
Around on the horse of nature's sorrow,
the world and I are to be sent.
Jan 2012 · 5.2k
Wildflowers
Judson Shastri Jan 2012
I saw those wildflowers you seemed to speak of.
Down that road you seemed to speak of.
On that bend, near that brook you seemed to speak of.
By that spreading oak.

All of this was spoke
by a closed mouth and hushed glance.
And those wildflowers
so wild in the white,
Starry in respite,
danced me into the night in fragile breath.

We spun, we spun,
The light drops and I,
to flail catch a bit of snow,
I lost them somewhere,
So wild in the white,
Flowers with their lightening dresses,
Tresses all alight.
The blended somewhere in there
So wild in the white,
Dancing on and into evening
Into the night, into the night.

Dear love,
how they brace me for a grace
that I cannot handle.
A grace, graceful
So pretty and then so pure,
those wildflowers you seemed to speak of,
and of yet so unsure.
They truly were beautiful beyond the words you never shared.
Don’t think upon your loveliness
Be sure, my love, be sure.

For those wildflowers were all of you
and your silence stored.
You and all your silence stored
that I so adored
I wish to seem to say right back
Of the way you seem to speak this way,
That down that road I know I find,
On that bend and brook I find,
Underneath the oak I find,
You to have and hold as mine.
The quietness of love and its infinite expression of beauty.
Jul 2011 · 707
Mosaics in the Garden
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Mosaics in the garden.
Our room for living is pale yellow and full red,
where we may peer towards that rosy garden,
that tiled, speckled, slathered garden.

I see a Chinese bay beyond,
for all manner of junk floats the streetish high-seas
in the again gale of afternoon.

Gained is rain and then asked for is sunshine.
So received is sunshine. Blessed, felt, caressed is sunshine.
Light seems to be the pearl,
purling away from the oysterich air, whose desires to chase
are full of joy;

so I see the game from from this room,
pale yellow and filled red.

So many paths on which to orbit the teeming world,
one that is not worse as folk say
or please to think.
Because I am pleased to think,
of the current calm, which is not common,
found in these
all things....

Of mosaics in the garden
and beyond of ships.
Of light, of rain,
and overall of sunshine.
Jul 2011 · 531
Ausfall
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
On the fifth, and final shuttle to Mars
one could hear the Earth falling into oblivion.
It was the sound of death,
an audible equivalent to the word "absence".
Our heads were pulled back,
like the line tethering our ears to home being drawn taught,
like hell,
until all snaps.

Sounds, sounds, parted sounds...
sounds all the way to Mars
Jul 2011 · 1.2k
Time Runs Together
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Time begins to run together,
several Olympians spread out.
And in their rushing they ford the same pace,
forge the same face,
until just one runner runs the race...
Thus time runs together.
Its followers cease to worship difference,
for they find none.
The farmer is as his absent crop: absent.
And the river boats between the reeds, empty of its fisherman.

Today is similar to its precursor
we call yesterday.
Tomorrow is just as uninspiring.
I break the legs of completed things
and projects are idle in the sky.
For time runs together
and change does nowhere play its game.
The same living room window holds the same, repeated light.
Jul 2011 · 799
My Brother Yells
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
My brother yells.
Bed time has arrived with the night:
a panther on the window sill.
Purring away. His protests are slurring away.
My brother yells. No sleep. Play...Stay.....

The good cat sighs, "Come with me!"
Why?
"Because I'll die."
Oh?
"Soon by the morning's light."
Oh.
"Would you deny my last request?"
No.
He would not.
"Come with me."

Brave. My brother yells.
I'll save Baghira! he yells.
I'll save him. To bed!
"Sweet boy.
Hero boy.
My tail salutes you, boy."
His tail salutes the boy.

Paws yawn. The cat smiles...
My brother.
Jul 2011 · 1.1k
Rush. Dirt Wind.
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Rush.
Dirt wind.
The pitter-patter.
Clouds sound like dust...
Or do they sound like gray rain?
Slight beige cast ahead, above, and to world's end.
Such a tumultuous realm.
Green leaves dotting the trees like drunkards. They beg up for a drink. And slur in the breeze.
Thunder, rumble of a Royal Enfield, somewhere by the sun or moon;
Somewhere by the source of dust, gale, or gray and pale rain....
Rush.
Dirt wind.
The pitter-patter.
Clouds sound like indecision.
A slight calm-down is cast ahead,
Above,
And to world's end.
Jul 2011 · 550
A Fair Statement
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
As I lay dying,
my sin has youth.
Who tells me that this match is fair?
An old man
against his spirit and soul darkly,
with only surrendering will as key and sword.
The weights and counter-weights are
undone.
How the scales tips...
I am no more than grain for the war, scarfed down by either starved side.
I feel the last ravaged stalk in a barren field...
How the scales of God tip.
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Nocturnes sing, flowers grow and
Playful shadows stretch the distance between you and I.
Little gray children,
With little gray fingers,
Clutch my color to their little gray chests.
They play their games around me
In hopes that I will smile.
Little gray hands play peek-a-boo
In hopes that I will smile.
And I must give them what they hope for
to then be on my quiet way.
Nocturnes sing, flowers glow and
Playful shadows stretch the distance between you and I.
Little gray hearts ****** into my ears.
The shimmer beats lull and
Those little gray shadows get what they hope for.
The Voice calls me home....
Nocturnes sing, flowers flow
And
Playful shadows stretch the distance.......
Between you and I.
I wrote this one quite a while ago...Thought I'd post it.
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
But you have not trod softly,
And my dreams lay beaten and still and dead.
Beggar's garb after your feet pass by;
A light walk to stretch your limbs.
Ever my years change.
--Still I require some cloth
And these erupted flags, these dreams, will do.
They will have to do, for being still poor,
I have only dreams and nothing less.
Because should you embark again,
Under your feet they will still be spread.
And perhaps then these rags and the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Will be one and the same.
My favorite poem of all time has to be "He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven" by W. B. Yeats.
This is a response poem to that. I hope I did it justice...
Jul 2011 · 635
Godslayer
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Lest we think, we cease to be,
and I ponder, therefore I am, indeed.
Good people, grasp something...
hold something.
Now nothing is produced, save sweat and salt,
dripping down the contours of leg, foot,
and heel.
Thus lathering the spot of downfall,
the spot of death.

Heel! Body, hark!
Harp,
but in harmony with the drums of mind.
With the drops of percussion, invisible and cried out from the ears.
Fashioned tears to shield you
from consequence.
Our tendency, as humanity, is to act without thinking. It's our Achilles' Heel you might say...
Jul 2011 · 507
Image Hard to Break
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Were I to admit my faults, my love,
would you secure the line that pulls us abreast
by speaking true that I do have them?
I will never say that I am an image hard to break,
or that my will does not lead to some death
or another.
Nor will I ask that you deceive me with a pretty ribbon,
wrapped around my body, head to heel.
I am a fresh conceived child of the potter, no image hard to break,
but glass easy to make into dust. Clay easy to unbake.
Don't let me sleep, unanswering for the mistakes I have sung into sword,
for I might fall upon them and break.
As I have said before, its possible.
No image hard to--
I am not faultless, dear one. Never that.
I break of my own accord.
This slippery world requires a crutch
I simply do not own.
But you have encouragement enough
for us to off and find me some feet together...
...make me an image hard to break together.
I wrote this against the common, modern ideal of love. People today, especially my age as a teen, want their love interests to tell them that there's nothing wrong. They want to be told that they're perfect just the way they are. I think it's stupid.  
We have faults. And I would rather be told the truth from someone I hold dearest, than lied to for some ghost of a pleasure.
Jul 2011 · 534
Light Falling in Such a Way
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
My son, you may find me at the edge of reason.
As I prepare to jump, leap, look, walk off and careen
into the depth,
the dark
of shadowy eyes.
Those shadows indeed in my eyes relay vision.
And I can almost see beneath, to the bone and the haunt it pastes on its readers.
The skull in full strong decorum.
A shook spear once held something like it. Perhaps the poetry flows
and wanders where it goes. A sorrow ****** from serene non-life.
All I care is to note
that I have privilege of viewing close my stark intentions.
For that is what the skull shows,
in its lidless bower:
the heated soul of my evil.
If you're in the right light and are gazing upon something reflective, sometimes the shadow cast on your eye enables you to see what your skull would look like should the skin, muscle, vessel, and nerve be removed. The depression of your eye is darkened, simulating the hollow cavity where your eye goes.
I saw this in the mirror and I was inspired.
Jul 2011 · 553
The Invisible Mountain
Judson Shastri Jul 2011
Discrepency.
What seperates us.
As simple as a cloud watched, when I see the whisked whiskered cat,
and you see collected evaporation.
An operation as impossible as love,
is unthinkable now
What we don't speak of begins to amount in great size,
and between us grows space. I find our bed is wider.
We manage to keep sleeping on either edge, cold feet shimmering on the matress,
and cold sheets shouting on the floor.
Apart.
It is as if we run either side of the bar where lies Herman's whale,
obstructing you from I.
However, we've not the cable to pull her away. I see her lie alien on that shore
and it sickens me.
As if a rift does not belong in us, but gapes there.
A shadow in the warehouse is not supposed to breathe,
when we are shattering, whirling flash-lights. But they inhale.
As if a wall is not built, 'tween my toast and your tea
at the morning table.
Courage for fixing is not suppposed to play dead.
And that's when I realize
its not playing.
Divorce, as a word, has the poetic significance...of a rock. However, what speaks to me is that so many people make the same mistake, and don't even know what it is until they're in that courtroom screaming at each other. Although contributed to by many, many things, it's a simple matter of compatibility.  
No one wants to take the time to find out what isn't obvious. "She intoxicates me." So why not marry her? Because you didn't understand love in the first place. Hardly anyone ever does.

The poem is from the point of view of someone who knows his marriage is failing, and that there is no return. This is not to say I advocate divorce, in fact I believe there is no problem so great that it can't be worked out. I'm just trying to convey the hopelessness of it all...

— The End —