i sit down in our spot
ready to cry to ribs;
our song.
that we were gonna play at our wedding
and we wanted to kiss to in the rain.
but there’s no rain.
it’s just tears on my face instead.
but it’s not from you
or anyone;
but the tiredness i have
just from existing.

i look up to the
crying sky,
thinking of you.

you’re gone
but i think back and smile.
you might not be mine
but at least
i have the memories.

a person isn’t forever
but the memories are
forever
in my heart.

as the year closed
i thought of the memories
we had that year.
so
i took your bracelets
off my wrist
and slept.
i’m leaving you
in 2020.

new year’s eve
and i’m ready to leave you
in this year.

hopefully i will.
if not you will
hopefully only
hurt my mind & soul
for a little while longer.

the five w’s
haven’t stopped through my head
since the day you left.

who;
who is next for you?
who helped you see me differently?

what;
what did i do wrong?
what are we now?

when;
when did you fall out of love?
when did you start lying to yourself?

where;
where were you when you knew?
where were you when you told me?

and why;
why did you love me?
why did you promise me forever when you couldn’t?

the five w’s
are going to continue
through my mind
for a while longer.

at the change of a year
people say things like
“i haven’t seen you since last year”
which can be funny
but it’s never original.

and when i hear those words
i get to thinking.
i haven’t kissed you
or hugged you;
i haven’t heard your laugh
or seem your smile;
all since last year.

and it hurts
it’s as painful as when
aurora pricked her finger on the
spinning wheel.
but it’ll never happen again
which is why
it hurts so much.