I see now that you shared with me so much more
than what you hid,
beginning seventeen years
eighth months ago, every day
has been our day. Even before we met we shared things
so well
if it were raining here,
I would send the storms down south to you.
The weather has so much more strength
than our anger, the earth
let me love you before my heart could catch up
and would take you away if you
ever stopped loving me
everything we share
I cannot lose when you still adore me.
When I presumed I had nothing,
I stopped living on earth. I did not want to share
anything with you
with half a person
half a stranger
a lover without lips.
Nothing was stolen from me, not exactly
rather I was a heart
that began to beat,
then stopped
midway, realizing an important piece was missing
some artery God forgot to connect.
Those days were hard work
of not running to you and asking you to
give me something
share anything more with me than just the sun
and I realized that even if you did not,
the sun would hurt now;
it would miss me and you could feel pain
I can't
because it was you who lost love
(I just never had it).
I had ideas of it,
you had your favorite flakes of my skin and
thought of the inflection of my voice as a *** *****
how could I lie to you, you would say
with my hand down your pants
and it made sense. I could make
sure you never have children,
but I'd rather make sure you do.
The body parts we shared are not mine,
but were inside me so often
they almost could be.
I had similes for
everything: becoming flaccid, the sun setting
scarlet cheeks like a burn
all larger than what I did not know.
I had the power to hurt you, I just didn't.
We both lied,
but I only would lie on my back
and once in a while, I pretend you did the same so
the sun does not lose us as stars
a constellation.
The Little Dipper
poured the same poison in our mouths
and that has to count as
something you did not keep from me
(something that believed in us).