a cup of poison, a cake iced with lead paint.
maybe one day you'll understand that this sustenance is not food,
that your love is not love.

drunk mind games
always my fall
out, as I adhere
to their every
call.

they run to
me, when all is
lost, a beautiful lie
they always tell
me.

their love always
hits me, and in force
I fall, and want
more, from them
every time.

months pass, and this
heart moves to another
lover, who she craves
and needs, but they
fall.

past a heart broken
they choose to approach
this lonely soul
mind ****** I sink
unknown.

how can I want more
from broken souls that
only emptied this soul
leaving me left and
alone.

I have found someone
I adore and cry for
leave me be, let me
be, for this is a selfish
lie.

© Sia Jane

i don't think that missing someone or something
is defined by the things
that remind you of them
but by the fact that you slowly --
-- but surely
forget those things about them
like their voice
and their laugh
and the way they sang
when they were in the shower
because they thought you never listened
i think it's the forgetting
not the remembering
that drives people crazy
to the point of calling and
hanging up
just to hear that someone --
-- you just came to mind
say "hello"
one last time.

i don't really know
if i ever mattered
or if i ever will

god forbid i wonder if i *do

into this pink grist
run mercury brooks
from the tower of liana
and ruptured mist
pools an ovarian sky
barefoot through milky way city
above strawberry ice cream lane
stratus clouds scale the ruins
and
the maraschino cherries ******* rain

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"