I want to give you the love I think you deserve
I want to be the cause of your beautiful smile on your face every day
I want to fill your heart with the greatest joy you'll ever know
I want to hold you close and never let you go
I want to keep you safe from all sorrows and pain
I want to give you all this and even more!!
But my demons fill your big brown eyes with hurtful tears
My words cut you open and slice right through your bones
My actions brings you to your darkest fears
I do not know nor understand
I despise my myself with utter disgust
It sickens me to my stomach that I actually want to *****
You don't need this from me!
My insecurities rip your bleeding heart right out your chest
My defensive behaviour is to guard myself from hurt
But in return our love suffers
The beauty of what we once had gets lost
Our relationship that once was perfected gets affected by my selfishness
How do I stop making the past my present
And just believe in what we've got
I love you without a doubt
Is it the fear of loosing you
That makes me push you further away
That the pain will be less when I end up alone?
I want to give you my sincerest apologies
Ask for your forgiveness
I wish that all that was said can be lifted by the wind and blown away into a distance
Be made forgotten
I want to heal our broken trust
Mend our hearts
And change all this unwanted anger into much needed and well deserved Love!