She hides behind
those beautiful,
big blue eyes.
A whirlpool I
wouldn’t mind being
trapped in.

Those eyes,
they could tell
a hundred stories.

I would get lost
in that whirlpool.
Enjoy it’s thrashing
day after day

I would get lost
in that whirlpool.
Sinking deeper
and deeper.

I would get trapped
in that whirlpool.
Never wanting to escape.

I would be in love
in that whirlpool.

I would never let
it go.

That whirlpool.

Those eyes.

I fell in love
with those
beautiful,
big
blue
eyes.

Every time I walk out of my room
both of my cats are sitting there
giving me ***** looks.
Almost as if I owe them money
from a poker game that we played
a few weeks ago and I haven’t called them since.

It makes me wonder if maybe they are mad at me.
What the hell did I do to them?
Yeah, sure, I stepped on your tail once or twice kitty,
shoot me.

But **** man, I pet you. I feed you.
I play with you.
I buy you toys.
I get you high. (On catnip, Jesus, I’m not cruel.)
****, if that’s the case, you want some kitty ****?
I’ll figure something out.

I’ll do anything to make you purr.

Remember when I got you those really nice boots
that you walked around in for maybe 5 minutes
and never put on again?

What about that time I bought you
that really expensive cat food that
you said you wanted so much
and then refused to eat?

I’m sorry about the time you saw me petting
the neighbors cat, I told you it wasn’t what it looked like.

No, I swear I didn’t like Doug the Pug’s photo on Facebook.

Why does it seem like I do everything wrong?

Oh wait.

I got it.


My cats are females.

I’ve drawn a thin line
Between ignorance
and confidence.

My ego grows by
the day,
making me out to be
maybe, just maybe,
not what I want to be.

Standing outside
in the middle of
January
with a t-shirt and jeans on,
holding a draft beer in my
right hand and a cigarette
in my left
Shouting,
“I’ll live forever.”

Hitting on girls
in front of their significant other.

My line is thin,
it only grows thinner.

Day by day,
night by night,
I don’t become better
Like I think I do.

I’ve become worse.

And it’s because of you.