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 Apr 2013 JS Gray
Julia
The wind catches the sails
and lifts up my arms
to praise a god
I don't believe in.
Title credit to Harry J. Baxter
 Apr 2013 JS Gray
Andrew Owens
I stopped getting older and I stopped caring about a special day about my life
surviving didn't seem like a miracle compared to the punishment I compared it to
and now I find myself avoiding attention for it just so I can be alone
my hatred for loneliness has since changed for the love of getting away
seems there's a little more hair on my face, but when I shave
I still look like a kid, but with less passion  
slaving away at my job for a little bit of money so can have some paper before I die
the last thing I need is to die so I guess everything else comes before that
most of it is ******* and I wish I could destroy the system and create my own
being one of those people with silly ideas  
still wishing, still hoping and still doing what I can
to give myself more hope as my wishes are made to myself
I no longer wish for love, I love myself now
I no longer hope she comes back, I love myself now
I no longer wait for things to get better, I do it myself now  
I'm getting older and my birthday is just another day I age  
another day when I feel happiness and pain
another day when the sun will shine before it rains
it's all okay because it's just another day
the last time I celebrated my birthday was the last time my childhood was most alive
now it's not so great, I'm having a rough childhood and growing up isn't all that it was cracked up to be
it's mostly full of **** and full of people who make up all that ****.
 Mar 2013 JS Gray
Julia
Heartless
 Mar 2013 JS Gray
Julia
You had the nerve, the sheer audacity,
To come in smelling of cigarettes and
Cheap alcohol.
Everything seemed to stop at that moment,
Except you
Slowly stumbling toward me
Clearly drunk,
With a cigarette dangling
from your fingertips.
I could smell you before I saw you...
The scent of failure
And desperation wafted though the air.
Bravo, babe.
You've done it again.
But you were always right,
Weren't you.
Even when you were wrong,
You were right 'cause
You couldn't stand to lose
To a stupid, spineless woman
Like myself.
You'll never get over me.
I'm the best thing
That has ever happened to you,

*****
Nobody's gonna come,
Wanting my used up sloppy seconds.
I'll always hold a piece of your heart,
To shatter as I please.

Sure enough, you do.
I tried to convince myself that you
Had no influence over me any more.
But you proved me wrong,
Stomped all over the few shards of dignity
That I still clung to.
Does that make you feel like a man?
After that you turned around and stumbled out,
With an air of self satisfaction about you...
And I finally realized something.
You might have had a hold on my heart
This very morning,
But you no longer do.
After all, you can't hold something
That doesn't exist anymore.
Title credit goes to Dieing Embers. :)
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
Andrew Owens
Teary eyes and blank stares
describes the deeply hurt.
Why do I care
when I always get burnt.

The biggest hearts feel the most pain.
Well I fell apart and drowned in the rain.
It hurts to care as much as I do
even after everything I still loved you.

I'm glad you could find ways to manipulate and use me  
because you thought the abuse was so amusing.
Your love became so disgusting and filthy.
I can understand why you railed all that coke and got drunk
because I know common sense often was there to make you feel guilty.

You were just three years ago so time has passed.
I still think about you sometimes but the thoughts are short lived
just like your love for me and our ill fated relationship.
That's what I get when you get sick of the love I had to give.

Teary eyes and blank stares
describe the deeply hurt.
Why do we care
when we always get burnt.

I was addicted to you
you were something I couldn't quit,
a part of me died
when I finally did.

You're not the only one who has made me cold.
All the warmth I had left I gave to you
I guess it was too much for you to hold
so I burnt the pictures because I couldn't
stand the memories.

So here I am colder to love than you could ever be
because I know I am young and it's all just a game.
I grew as a person from loving you
so thank you for teaching me how to play.
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
Katlyn Orthman
Sleep is growing harder
Always the forest
Spirt tell me what you need to
I want to sleep again
It's been years since it happened for the first time
The dream had replayed ever night
The stables were on fire
They pounded after me
I was scared
Running from the snarls
And snapping of teeth
I ran into the flame swallowed stall
But I wasn't afraid
They engulfed me
And the sad eyes of a wolf
Looked at me from the other side of
The stable
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
It always
Ended in those words
I was scared to understand those words
But now years later
I run the forest through
Searching
Always searching
Until I can find them
The trees all bow to the ground
I was home
I could run freely with them
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
These words haunt me
As the wolves eyes burn me
I decide I will name the him spirt wolf
Sprit wolf take me home
The moonlight magic is working its ways
All my perspectives work through a haze
Don't know who I am and not sure what's right
My pack is behind me, I'm not alone in this fight
While I look for guidance and see none before me
I realize then that I'm writing the story
At times I would wish to only be the reader
Then I accept my role as the leader
Whenever I feel lost, I howl it in a song
My ignorance runs dry, the bliss doesn't last long
Often I am sought out, to provide a guiding wind
I ease them away to sail, hoping that their hearts mend
Though I may seem alone, I have all my support
I find all my comfort, when my followers have a fort
So I leave you with this message, and I hope you understand
I've been there myself, and will lend a helping hand
Paul T. Shannon Jr.
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
mûre
Sweet girl.
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
mûre
Always take the stairs, my dove.
Sweet girl, put away your knife.
You need not cut asunder these vines
they'll make you grow so tall in life.

Always stand up straight, my heart
Let them see your imp eyes burn
as you sing in constellations
swirl as you turn.

Always mismatch your socks, my dear
Never forfeit your spontaneity
for conformity, my sweet,
live your eleven in gaiety.

Always love your love freely, pet
My baby sister, your soul consumes
each who touch it, it follows me still,
bursting like a rose in bloom.
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
Eldon
Carve
 Feb 2013 JS Gray
Eldon
Like a pumpkin on Halloween, carve me open.

You will fear the hollowness of my insides.

Previous trick-or-treaters, in their too high of spirits, have long ago scooped out what made me tick.

My pulse used to pound louder than a heart knocking on the door of another’s soul,

Hoping that someone welcoming waited on the other side.

Begging for entry.

As they dressed in their costumes, hiding their true identity,

They stumbled upon my motionless being.    

They mistook me for the large, misshapen fruit and I did not make it a hard feat.

With my constant state of lifelessness and lack of expression, I am a lyric with no beat.

Lost amongst the stars, wandering far.

Hiding next to sons that always knew how to shine brighter than I did.

Camouflaged, so that you would not notice that I too could light up the sky.

Too often,

I would rather be overlooked,

Than to have my illumination come with an expiration date.

Too often.
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