Wonder why I can rejoice in a light breeze
but a single fallen leaf
turned in the wrong direction
can make it feel like
a storm
a hurricane
a monsoon?

Wonder why I can revel at my ease
but a single word so brief
aimed in the right direction
can make me feel like
a swarm
a bit insane
a baboon?

Two beds making an L shape.
The shape we'd made.
The LOVE of you.
Two rugs making a V shape.
The shape we'd made
The VISION of you.
Two covers making a C Shape.
The shape we'd made.
The CLOSENESS of you.

One window making an F space.
The shape you've made.
The FREENESS of you.
One sky making a B shape.
The shape you've made.
The BEAUTY of you.
One heaven making an A shape.
The shape you've made.
The ANGEL of you.

No thoughts making an E space.
The shape I've made.
The ENERGY of you.
No mirrors making a G space.
The shape I've made.
The GHOST of you.
No dreams making an M space.
The shape I've made.
The MEMORY of you.

Clocks ticking
Calling time
Bombs
Ready
To
E
   X
       P
            L
O   D  E.

9
Cards
Nine
From A
Deck
To
Free ME.

A lexical set or a rule of three
Rhyming words or an analogy.
Iambic pentameter or just free verse
Acrostic, nostalgic without a rehearse.  

Pathetic Fallacy with cloud and rain
Feelings on a page without restrain.
A ballard, a couplet a villanelle or two
AA BB it's up to you.

Personification with trees that moan
Onomatopoeia with frogs that groan.
Similes slither like a snake in sand
Metaphor branches are our hands.

Alliteration angels always await
Sitting on the symbolic gate.
Assonace with early birds and worms
Writing it all in poetry terms.

Thunder roars
lightning strikes
rain lashes down
upon exits.
Who would want to
wake up to
clouds that hide
blue skies.
Our streets
will either wave happy
banners of red
or be filled with blood.
We tried but the
blind can never foresee
the foreshadowing of
our own doom.

It is always around midnight when
I sit and contemplate my days
And what better way to say it
Than a poem by Robert Graves:

About midnight my heart began
         To trip again and knock.
The tattered ghost of a tall man
Looked fierce at me as in he ran,
          But fiercer at the clock.

It was, he swore, a long, long while
          Until he'd had the luck
To die and make his domicile
On some ungeographic isle
          Where no hour ever struck.

'But now, you worst of clocks', said he
           'Delayer of all love,
In vengeance I've recrossed the sea
To **** at your machinery
            And give your hands a shove.'

So impotently he groped and peered
           That his whole body shook!
I could not laugh at him; I feared
This was no ghost but my own weird,
           And closer dared not look.

You did not need to be anyone at all
biological, but safe and warm or
just to put your arms around a child
to heal that pain.

You did not need that cord to be cut
umbilical, but only think and
just to have the feeling that she won't
open the wound again.

You did not need a child: lost and found
miracle, but to hear the voice or
just to witness screaming and dreaming
in vain in vain in vein.

You did have a child that was quite
illogical, but you never come here to
just a life without reasoning
with no pressure no stain.

Bit bored and lonely
so I could go out and meet
Jack
in the green.
Paint colours on my face
and wave a white scarf
Jack
in between.
Could listen to music
that vibrates within my soul
Jack
you have seen.
But stay home only
not to start a parade of mine
Jack
I have been.

****** Bird?
You have ruffled my feathers.
Cluck
Off
To the hen house.
I have worms to find.
A tasty treat in my beak
Or digging up beetles with my claws
None of which will ever be yours.

****** Bird?
If I could fly I would leave
You
Now
In this coop.
But we are locked in.
I'm left digging the dirt
Or sleeping on straw
Shell-less and cracked and raw.

Slipping through dry leaves
you teased me with your forked tongue
not so young
a whole lot  more
older and wiser but no advisor
to deny the hiss as you slid through
holes
and let it come
so much a *****
cleaner and greener but not meaner
to stop future slime slithering here
leaving
skins
at my door.

I am not afraid.
I never told you.
You left in darkness and silence.
Went.
Still I will not speak.
No light,
Just the glow from the street lamps
Above
Below
Illuminating  a tranquil sky.
Stay! I cannot say.
The maze is coming.
I
Run
Call.
He has taken me.
I am not afraid.
Can you hear me?

Those four red lines
do not represent any journey
we have had
or will.
I am not climbing
your ladder of
hurt and
self loathing.
The compass you used
will take us in a new direction
of red sands
and deserts.
Let that be your guide
and do not dig that
needle in again unless
it's to pinpoint our travels.

Mostly you stay silent
Listening
Hollow
Fast.

Sometimes you stay dormant
Waiting
Shallow
Caste.

Often you stay violent
Waving
Arrow
Past.

One day it's my moment
Smiling
Swallow
Last.

Miss
You
Are the one I needed to see to
Today because I have to
Say
Goodbye
But hopefully not forever.
When I came here I was below in
English
Confidence
Self-esteem and there was no way
I could imagine I would ever
Sit
Learn
In a classroom that echoed for me a
Violence
Hatred
Of words and symbols I could not understand
Because I was 'different'.
Five
Years
Has taken me to the point of success
And I want you to know that
All
Everything
I have become and will be is
Because of you.

Do you hide it
And pretend you are 'normal'
When the world around you
Is Insane?

Do you tell it
And pretend you are a 'total'
When they use it against you
To their gain?

Do you write it
And let the words flow and 'blow'
Upon empty ears
Is it the same?

Do you you give up,
And let them 'break' your nose, blood
In a corner
For their gain?

Or do you?
Why would you?
Why should you?
How could you?
A friend?

Autistic
Artistic
A statistic?
Trying to connect.

A knowledge and a mastery
              kept inside
is not wise and why keep those
     S    E   C   R    E   T   S
            that easily
S
     L
           I
               D
                     E
out, up, down, forward, back
around, a sight, a sound
                     to
                      D
             I                   E
                   L     G
not guide!

To acknowledge the catastrophe
                not hide
those cries and why weep for a
    B  L  E  A  K  N  E  S  S
             that cunningly
R                                    S
          I     ­              E
                    D
in, down, behind, in front
a trot, a canter, a gallop
                     to
***                           IDE
and hide?

A tongue
Used for exploring
Mmmm!
Everywhere I've been.


A tongue used for licking
Mmmm!
Soft swirls of cream.

A tongue used for circling
Mmmm!
Parameters so extreme.

A tongue used for flicking
Mmmm!
Pebbles in a stream.

A tongue used for speaking
Mmmm!
On a particular theme.

A tongue used for shrieking
Mmmm!
Fantasies in my dream.

A tongue
Your tongue
My tongue
All tongue
          Oh My God...... Words
                                                    Just
Come!

Do we
Live in a world that we didn't even choose
Utopia, Dysphoria, War Zone?
Or stay
Safe in a place that is nestled within a womb
Placenta, Myopia, Safe Home?
Or should we
Stay in a county with possesions we own
Dictator, Fabricator, Planes drone?
Can't speak
A language that was created by us unknown
Metaphorical, Native, Foul tongue?
Is there
A Universe that we by chance could exist
Uninvited, Alien, Pesty Guest?
Or would
A world of full of boundaries let me find
A Nation, Peace, Permanent home?

In the ill-considered dark
Behind electric lights
Rats
Like an oil slick
Poured into the night
Unseen.
Their blind pink eyes;
Blood dripping on
Varicose Street
Where revolving insomniacs
Gathered
To greet a future
Hard Won
A destiny of dust
Inconsequential motes
Bought by votes.

No longer in black
or funeral colours
of grief but
today it was
shades of blue
dresses in other
shapes
with skirts
that could lead me
into a twirl
and make me ditch
denim trousers
because I'm still
a girl!

Mistah Kurtz—he dead.

A penny for the Old Guy

I
We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

II
Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer—

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

III
This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

IV
The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We ***** together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

V
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

It was on a Pirate Day
When I stumbled upon you
Wearing blue and white stripes
And a purple scarf
With skeletons on it that
Reminded me of those
That were in his closet.
Criminal!

It was about a Pirate
That Day when I talked to you
Wearing red and white stripes
And a black smile
With two scars on it that
Reminded me of those
That were on his face.
Violent!

A Sea Shanty of People
When I needed to leave you
Wearing disguises and masks
And robbing the smart
With evil in it that
Reminded me of those
That were in his heart.
Bandit!

It was on a Pirate  Day
When I once found you
Wearing no cutlass or hook
And a twinkly eye
With friendship in it
Reminded me of those
That are decent and honest.
No Ambush!

Good evening
And welcome to
The blame game.

Tonight we will lay it
At the door
Of the most vulnerable
In our midst.

Tonight it's the turn
Of the poor
It's the poor
(Undeserving of course)
Will be kissed.

Yes. Tonight's Star Prize
One not to be missed
A leech's
Kiss.

Today I was given a lucky charm
Or defensive hanger to protect me
Against the flea bitten of spirit.
A talisman to conquer that elusive love
Against hybrids of tails and coins
Against hybrids of toads and butterflies.

Oh Lucky Charm defend me from
Those who make work more complicated than it is with
All kinds of *******.
Protect me against cars and their drivers
And those who make me afraid with their fear.

Give me luck so that I can put up a shield against
Those so twisted that they bite their tale with
Intentions I do not need to discover.
The two faces in one
And those who despise poetry and art.

I hope that by hanging onto you I will
Fight against those who want more from me
And find those that seek love.
Safe from those that make us afraid with fear
Wrap promises in warm true fingers
Not wearing gloves instead of hands.

I'm in a pub garden having a drink
when a wasp comes by and what does he think
that disturbing a giggle a smile and a laugh
it's ok to dive and have a beer bath.
I think to myself I could rescue the thing
but what if I do and he comes back to sting.
I leave him there but feel guilty and know
that diving in beers is no place to go.

I knew
so had to come out and look
and it explains everything
Waning Gibbous!

WASP
SPIDER
LADYBIRD
A FLY

HUNGRY
PIZZA
STUFFED CRUST
WHY?

WASH
COVERS
PILLOWS
ONE SHEET

OPEN
PASSAGE
FRIENDS TO
MEET?

HOPE
ONE DAY
YOU'LL BE
FINE.

KEEP
HANGING
YOUR NOTES
ONTO MINE.

Blunt
Smart
Razor
Sharp
Is my tongue.
Stick yours right there
One day
Words
Might
Come!

'Can I come up today?' gasped the innocent guy,
'My bus ticket's lost and do you know why?
The way on this road is so steep and uphill
And certain things stop me and give me that thrill'

'Yes, yes, yes, keep on climbing' said  I
'If you make it up here then I will not try
To keep you enclosed in my black, dark den
Let nothing detain you and arrive not past ten'

'Are you tired my dear?  I echoed out loud,
'Take off those shoes and don't be so proud
Rest on my bed and take a little time
My curtains are blowing, my sheets are just fine'

'No, no, no, just resting'  he vowed
'Need to get away from the voice and the crowd
And put my hands on a full pair of *******
So I'm staggering up here to forget all the rest'

'Dearest friend, now what shall I do?'
I have you here and the bus ticket too!
A party parcel, a knife and a slice
Cut it in pieces and it feels quite nice.

What would I find if I broke down your wall?
Taking it down brick by brick.
If I looked inside I would find nothing at all?
Yes you would you stupid *****!

What would I find if you broke down my wall?
Moving it round trick by trick.
If you looked inside would you see it or call?
No you wouldn't you make me sick!

Why do I find that I like my closed wall?
Hiding its sound tick by tick.
If you're living inside then how can you fall?
The coffin is ready better be quick!

There once was a girl from the city
Who in her youth was quite pretty
But she decided to write
Stayed up every night
Looking for something quite gritty.

Put on your dress he says
A dinner, date, rare steak
No!

Wear those heels he says
A tango, salsa, quick step
Slow!

Show me that silk he says
A clip, photo, one take
Go!

Open your door he says
A knock, bang, hard touch
Low!

Busy with work he says
A silence, blank, upset
Blow!

My favourite time is
when I carried you
through ripe
bananas, melons, cucumbers
and hated them
choked in my throat
but saw a way through
mixing smoothies
to no use
abuse
so
nothing I did
or advice I took
was ever quite true
silent
keeping vitamins inside
it was serious
swallowing things so vile
couldn't see
past the life mapped out
in a bedroom of blue
strawberries, oranges, lemons
a fruit
I grew
you
flew.

It's good for the soul and mind she said
Talk to me, dance with me, leave your bed.
It's good for the body and heart she said
Move with me, write with me, leave it dead
It's good to hear words and thoughts I said
Share with me, be with me, stay in my head.
It's good to have a good friend I then said
Plan with me, map with me, give me a thread.

A bag full of jackets
When I first met you
All for charity
But that wasn't true.

Legs spread out
So I couldn't get through
I wouldn't have looked
At a man like you.

I gave you my number
You gave me yours too
You sent me a message
The first of a few.

You fell on hard times
Needed a chance to be new
I gave you that chance
Because that's what I do.

A room was then painted
Green stripes and blue
I gave you my keys
You kept them too.

My money was gone
My daughter too
How I wish
I'd never met you.

So Charity now
Begins with a few
Holding on tight
And starting anew.

she usually lets it sit in curls quite
natural,
with no warmth or heat that is so
unnatural,
but he says he will arrive on his feet
contractual,
she straightens and tidy's away the
factual,
and puts things in cupboards to hide
supernatural,
he comes and he goes not noticing the
actual,
woman he came to see is in chaos
collateral.

De de de de, de de de de,
De de de de, de de de de de.
Run for your ices, lollies and cones,
for a sound that is cold and
sends chills through my bones,
how can a person
be left so sad and alone
feeling frozen in time?
Ice- Cream Man!
You lie!
De de de de, de de de de,
De de de de, de de de de die.

On a dark winters night full with courage and wine,
He came.
Not on horseback in armour with an invitation to dine,
He followed.
Climbed up to the balcony and that was the swine,
He sneaked.
Could not recite fairytales, poems or lines.
He failed.

No Juliet
Waiting to hear how fair she was with eyes that did shine.
No Rapunzel
Letting down hair to form a long stair in a casscade of rope and vine.  
No Esmeralda
Seducing a man with a dance to time, a motion and rhyme.
No Green Knight
Holding flowers or symbols of any love sign.


You didn't pass the challenge this time
Come back next year
With a trophy or a token or a musical chime.
No longer the Green Knight,
Then I'll never have to use this axe of mine.

I cannot embrace the newness of you or smell the white powder that lingered here- for days and weeks and years and forever - it's here.
Plucking you from fresh grass - blowing and watching you fly away - a spore in the wind.
Never making time to wish or hope or dream.
I cannot let myself remember how you touched the silk - looking into your black eyes I saw a sun, a moon, a planet - my world.
I cannot open my door my friend.
I cannot move or listen.
I do not hear or see or feel.
I cannot wait and hear
The other ones cries.

A scent wafts in today
and I start making my own goals
in the wrong direction,
fingers clogged with dirt
nails raw
clawing with that uttermost splurt
that sends my head spinning
with no reflection.

Or maybe it's because it's May
and in-between my ***-holes
the wind is a distraction
minds filled with hurt
heart sore
feeling with that need to blurt
that sends my soul winning
with no detection.

Take a chill pill
Relax
Sit slack
Have a crack
It's not real.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S TOTALLY OBSCENE
THAT I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO BE ON THE SCENE?

Take my chill pill
Adapt
Hit back
Have a knack
It's surreal!