I stand above my bed
And examine the damage.
Blankets this way and that
Pillows all over
Sheets tangled up around themselves.
Proof of something that
Only hours ago
Left this place empty.
I take in the rubble
And breathe deeply.
I lower myself down to those
Tangled sheets
And backwards bedspreads
And fill my lungs with you.
I pull them up around me
And close my eyes
And wish for this place to be
The same kind of battleground
Again tomorrow.

You never stop running;
Never slow down.
You’ve learned that silence
Is the screeching of sound.
The days keep changing,
But it all bleeds to one,
As you’ve found that sleep
Only wastes time.
The stress you feel
Just means your alive.
That shortness of breath
Helps you survive.
So you move through the world
Blind to it’s beauty,
For you’ve learned things are worthless
Unless they are moving.

Men,
Sitting,
Dressed in suits
On the subway
With gray newspapers
All at the same section,
Eyes darting over black lines
Like they're chasing an escaped ant
That has just reached the lower corner,
And they turn the pages at the same time

He'll never know
the moment I heard the door closed
I left a present for him
In the form of tears on the doorstep

He'll never know
I thought of him today
I spend my nights with someone
Else that I care for, but not as much as him

He'll never know
That I smile at the sound of his voice
And that the butterflies inside
Are just begging to be let out

He'll never know
How much I wish I was her
And how much I wonder what
would be different if I had stayed

He'll never know
How often I want to feel his comfort
I still sleep the same
As I did when I shared his bed

He'll never know
Just how much of an echo
his presence leaves in me
and how much it hurts to miss him

He'll never know
Just how much I'd give up for him
And how helpless I feel when I think
of the possibilities

He'll never know
Why I was so eager to be with him
In hope that somehow I'd have
a reason to stay

He'll never know
How much it hurt to see the color
Fade from his eyes when
Our lips touched the last time

He'll never know
When his fingers laced with mine
He was not the only one
Who felt at home