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Josh Taylor Feb 2013
I swear I meant all the words
that I said when we were lying
in bed together that night

and in the car every time
I drove you home, way too late
because neither of us wanted to part

Sometimes I catch myself
laughing at some inside joke
of which I am now outside,

turning to find you
gone, only air in your place
because none could ever take it

I held onto hope for the
longest time, thinking you
would get tired of the city life,

run back to my arms
I never knew when you might
come, so I kept them open

But this morning, I went
out to my mailbox to find
in it twelve letters

from me to you,
resealed,
"R.T.S." written on each.
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
a deep-seated ache
permeates my bones
seeping into the
marrow
into the innermost
parts of me
i breathe it in
and breathe out hope
watching it cloud and then
disappear
i have to
get this out of me
get it
out

and now
with my blood
pooling
on the floor
my insides
stuffed with straw
i smile

a scarecrow man
pretending to feel
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
you kiss him and i wonder
how you see me
now
years after the fact
after the last time
my lips met yours
and though
they no longer strive
wanting to return to
that sacred place
i still wonder
from time to time
how things might be
different
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
the halo of your hair
and the smile that’s never there
tell me
that it’s a fine time to find
something better
better than nights spent
restless in a bed with a body
that lends heat but no warmth
waking and wanting to touch but
no, that wouldn’t do at all
so many conversations
and arguments
and agree to disagree
over where we should be
years from now
or even days
hours from now
i wonder if i
will be with you still
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
Melancholia
with a nostalgic scent
The clock ticks idly by
as I stare into
the recesses of my
soul
Asking more of myself
than I could
ever
give
I build a prison around myself
My thoughts, iron bars
I long to dive into sublime
unfeeling
Let my mind be still
Come break me free
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
I long for a loss of breath
A certain savory salve to slip from my veins
Falling on the floor in waterfalls
A torrential tribute to unmerciful gods
Flesh forsaken as the blade bears down
Pardon my sins and bring me in
To bask in this eternal lack of pain
Josh Taylor Feb 2013
I sink into the pools that are your eyes
They crash over my head and drag me down
I gasp, completely taken by surprise
You fill my lungs and I begin to drown
Returning to the sea that sank me then
I found my ship was dashed upon the shore
A long time passed, so I thought I could swim
But now I see that I will sail no more
I taste you, smell you, feel you killing me
And now, my vision slowly fades to black
I always knew that this would come to be
I knew that I was never coming back
    I saw your storms, but still I left the bay
    Now, in your depths I will forever stay
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