I came to know you so well
your voice, every nuance
I knew every part of your being
I knew you better then you ever could

I would say things knowing your response
before it even passed your lips
sometimes I would mouth the words
along in sync with you

sometimes I would anticipate
your rebuttal as we fought
I would realize you were right
and stop in mid-sentence with apologies

I would day dream about you
down to the way your hair curled
wrapping it's arms around your face
as my fingers wish they could

but now that you're gone
a part of you still remains
the you that I have constructed
over the late nights and longing

that girl still loves me
that girl still says my name
like honey gently gliding over her lips
and turning into neon lights as it meets the air

that girl still loves me
she holds my hands when I cry
she makes me smile in spite of sorrow
she is the one I reach for in my sleep

but she grows more antiquated
every day that I am reminded you are gone
not because I don't love her
but because I know I shouldn't

Because I know you don't love
the boy still in your head
you have pushed him out and away
never to burden your heart again

maybe in some spiritual sub-world
where we share a subconscious
the emulations that we have created
will be able to live in love

A hint of strawberry on your skin
the sent soaked into its softness
my body is forever willing
but my heart has grown cautious

But I find myself falling again
It’s growing hard to resist
or noses circle one another
until our lips defiantly kissed

I had came as no surprise
for our lips built electricity
and grew attracted to each other
they came together by gravity

my blood rushes like flood gates open
smiles spread like wings on a dove
and before I know of what’s occurred
I find myself falling in love

My lips call your name
with no instruction to do so
my tongue whispers the words
I didn’t want you to know

love, love, love
that four-letter word
the one that came so quick
that I hope you hadn’t heart

“What”, she says quickly
is it out of her not hearing,
or hearing and protesting?
it is the latter I’m fearing

“Oh no, nothing, nothing”
I so quickly, so sadly utter
“I love you too” she speaks.
my heart is instantly butter

I want to taste your anger, your fear, your worries
your lies, your cries, your demise
I wanna taste your heart, your skin,
your thighs thighs thighs
those black skies in your blue, blue eyes

I want to make you sweat sweat sweat
I’ll spend your soul and send you the debt
a girl out in the rain, soaking wet

I want to ruin your form,
your reason for being,
freeing all that’s screaming.
under that skin skin skin.
sin sin sin.

Going out and coming in,
going out and coming in.

I’ll be your debt your death,
your bet your breath.
I’ll be your debt you death,
Your bet you breathe.

If you only let me be.
Let me see. Let me see.
We could be, we could be.
Quite the catastrophe

Don’t say it
if you don’t mean it
don’t do it
If you didn’t dream it

Live for love
and love the life you live
give your all
because it’s all you ought to give

Don’t be it
if it isn’t who you are
don’t go
unless you plan on going far

Laugh loudly
for every laugh you’re allowed
if you vow love
make those words lovingly avowed

Don’t sing
if you don’t do it loudly
don’t be you
unless you do it proudly

I fell in love with a girl
and she in love with I
we pledged our existence
For here until we die

we reveled in love
it was all we needed
in one another’s eyes
all of our hopes were seeded

but what happens now
that everything’s been broken
that our final good byes
have now been spoken

forever, until we die.
that’s what we said
because without her
I’m nothing but dead

Everything’s moving far to fast
for me to grab hold of anything tangible
my dreams are far from dead
so I won’t settle for anything practical

They call me foolish
for the hours I continue to keep
but nothing beats morning air
After a long night of no sleep

It may be crazy, I know
to still think that dreams come true
but maybe it’s only the crazy ones
that are ever destined to make it through

I’ll find my way on day
and it’ll be the one for which I was born
well the rest will be still lost
living day to day lethargic and forlorn

The memory of your skin
almost close enough to touch
making my hair stand on end
when the tension was too much

I moved a micron closer
hoping you might do the same
I just want to get closer
not quite sure of my aim

I just I hate the distance now
if it’s millimeters or miles
how I hate living on day to day
in the absence of your smiles

that perk up at the moments
when I need them the most
and make my smile peak its head
and then stretch coast to coast

but now you’re too far gone
for me to have anything more
than a box full of memories
and a forever open door

Watching homemade ******
from a girl I used to date
for whom I've lost affection
now all I feel is hate

I know it's not my place
I don't have the right
to wonder where she is
or where she spent her night

I hope he's treating her well
better then I could mange
I hope he compliments her
and won't take advantage

it's not that I'm jealous,
well, truth be told, that's a lie
but it's more I want to protect her
make sure she's with stand up guy

so maybe I don't hate her
perhaps it's quite the opposite
but we still have one thing in common
we're both tired of my ****

I am but a message in a bottle
floating listlessly in the ocean
I feel like a voice on the wind
no substance, purely emotion

waiting to wash upon shore
hoping some one will find me
and care to uncork my mind
pull out my innards and unwind me

read my message word for word
like these feelings were their own
for them to pick me up gently
hold me close and take me home

Those days when I want to scream
all the things I’ve ever thought of you
how I love the things that you think
and how I hate those things you do

I include myself in the second
because I can’t comprehend
why I make a half decent lover  
Much less,an excellent friend

your kisses, your breath, your bed.
Like the movies Mom didn’t allow
not expressively pornographic
just far too romantically avow

I lay awake in this bed of mine
I only sleep with you by my side
we’ll pull the covers over our heads
and from the world we’ll both hide

I can’t see a cat
without thinking of you
the way they curl into my lap
just like you used to do

I would scratch your docile head
until my arms were sore
I’d lift them up and away
just to hear you meow for more

you’d nudge at my torso
with wide asking eyes
I’d return to scratching
your head resting on my thighs

You’d roll over on you back
your head leading the motion
presenting your soft stomach
hoping that I got the notion

I’d scratch your stomach
as you'd smile and purr
faster and faster still
till my hand began to blur

but now these are memories
long gone and past
though the moment is gone
with each cat the idea is recast

but my kitten is gone now
she has gone and run away
never could she be replaced
by some traveling stray

If you’re beautiful, they’ll deliver their hearts
in prompt, primped, boxes with bright bows
if you are plain, with a heart of gold
you’ll only be given a life of juxtapose

everyone squanders their love on the few
who will never reciprocate the same sentiment
they will only fall for those other beautiful people
who’s hearts only intent is that of malcontent

with some in love with the feeling of lust
and some lusting for the feeling of love
millions of lonely people sitting alone
waiting for just one person to rise above

love may be blind but lovers are not
if only they could see what shines inside
we could end the heartbreak and heartache
two soul mates, hand in hand, and side by side

I asked you if you still loved me
you said of that you aren’t sure
of all the feelings you have for me
I know the one to be the most pure

I can tell it in the way you speak
punctuating sentences with force
barring the romantic semantics
one word answers, delivered coarse

I’d like to apologize for my mistakes
and say I’m sorry to this day still
I’d like to say I understand, I know
but I don’t, and I never will

I have broken you so ruthlessly
I have given you a hurt so deep
I can’t forgive myself for this
nor blame you for the hate you keep

You've always blamed me
and I've took it on most occasions
I've taken blame for our down fall
in it's many and vast variations

I've made you say all the things
that you've hated about me
uncensored and unabashed
as harsh as they maybe be

you've said you've hated me
and that's all you've felt as of late
you've called me a slew of names
but I want you to know what I hate

so you can call me an *******
call me a *******, a *****
but still, I feel the same
just as I did the day before

and that's what I hate most,
not you or the things you've said
but after all this, I still love you
and can't get you out of my head

The rest of our lives
seem so far away
where will we go
and where will we stay

when home grows old
and the city is breathing
when we pack all of our bags
and tell our parents we’re leaving

do we spend a couple grand
to get ourselves an education
do we settle into a job
or find a vibrant vocation

what do we want to be
when we are fully grown
a husband or wife
living in a lively home

or a traveler of the world
moving from town to town
never stay anywhere too long
and never settling down

what will become of us
in this life that awaits
I’ll close my eyes, and make a wish
and leave the rest up to the fates

I build my world in the night
to have it washed away in the day
all that I have said so far
is not a fraction of what I have to say

I sing away in twilight
just to see it break away by dawn
I slave away in the dark
and by the light it is all gone

But one day I’ll escape
from the out skirts to the town
where the people stay out
even when the sun goes down

and we build a life
that the sun could never bleach
we’ll build our towers
to places where only stars can reach

And the ink from one page
begins to seep into the glue
and the red paint I used
starts to slide into the blue

and the colored pencil
begins to erase slightly
all the marks that I made
have become all mighty

All collages converge
My creation takes start
it opens it’s jaw wide
I’ve been eaten by my art

The blood pumps in catharsis
saying this is what heart is
this is spirit, this is soul
this is that all impending goal
What some strive but never achieve
what some have but never believe
the wish away upon the star
ways a way away so far
what the dreamers dream of
the one, the only, true love

You’re but a wounded sparrow
falling swiftly toward the earth
but the world averts their gaze
for they know not of your worth

but I know better then absent eyes
for this sparrow was once my love
the one that I had set to make mine
this one now falling from above

I wish I could clutch you close
but I haven’t the hold nor hands
just these talons short and sharp
they can never carry out my commands

I will do the only thing I can fare
I will do my best to ease this blow
I’ll swoop underneath your carriage,
flap my wings as fast as they’ll go

I never imagined it ending
much less ending like this
No warning or big fight
No final loving kiss

but it is in fact ending
even as you and I speak
what was a day without you
Is now suddenly a week

I still hear your voice
poking gentle fun at me
My heart is still buzzing
like a hyper active bee

You’re still in my dreams
whispering secrets to recall
When I awaken to the day
But it seems I’ve forgotten them all

I wish, for the slightest second,
that I might stop swinging
between running away from her
and, with finger tips, clinging

I feel my grasp slip slowly
I wish I had a better hold of her
I’ve been calling for hours now
but I can’t seem to get ahold of her

I want to tell her that I love her
despite my every transgression
that she should take precedence
and be my only obsession

all I want is to stop this rain,
I want our storm to see a calm,
to feel her voice in my ears
and hear her hand in my palm

I wish, for the slightest second,
I could show her the forever
that I had always planned
with us hand and hand together

You still wear your favorite sweater
Even thought it’s littered with holes
you wear your doodled on high tops
Even though you’ve worn out the soles

Sometimes you forget to use a brush
And your hair becomes a matted mess
and you spilled your cup of red kool-aid
all over your favorite white dress

But in spite or because of these things
you just became all that more stunning
not a single clumsy goofy thing you do
Would ever send me off running

Because I know you keep them around
for the sentimental value they’ve gained
so even when they got worn or broken
inside your heart they still remained

I’d love to be that newly stained dress
or to be that sweater or that shoe
because no matter how old I get
I always want to be important to you

in this room where all the walls are white
my blood runs crimson, ruby red
my voice extends electric blues
while black thoughts rule my head

My heart burns with a fire
orange flames licking at my lungs
like the way lustrous lovers
Flick with their flesh flavored tongues

the colors cross closed eyes
even in the dead of the dark night
everything disappears for a second
and I wake in a room painted white

I close my eyes and I’m there
sitting in a rustic country home
the wall paper, yellowed and peeling
I look around, I’m all alone

there are photo albums strewn about
full of faces I can’t quite recall
but still I know each person in them
I spew tears  staring at them all

the sun slips through the windows
it shines gold as it’s slowly setting
I sit in it’s  amber glowing haze
there is some one that I’m forgetting

I can feel the hole inside my heart
which they used to fill so tightly
as the sun sets in the west
I think about you nightly

I stay up the whole night long
hoping she might call to say
that she’s been dreaming of us
and wouldn’t have it any other way

she’d tell me that she’d loved me
for more months then she can count
and all that loving for so many months
has built to quite an obscene amount

I’ll tell that I feel the exact same
and I have as long as I can recall
if only she would have seen
the love note I used to scrawl

I stay up the whole night long
hoping to hear her rap at my door
I’d open it to her saying, frantically
that she can’t take the tension  any more

she’d shoot her arms around me
holding onto me ever so tight
and give me the biggest of kisses
that would continue all of the night

we’d maneuver to the bed room
through the blinds the sun beams
I’d take her hand as we rest our heads
and I’d fall asleep with the girl of my dreams

It was the last day November
The ground was shroud in snow
When you took me for a walk
telling me that you had to go

I let tears slip out, weird and warm
I was young and didn’t understand
all I wanted was you to stay with me
to be here to forever hold my hand

I thought my love would keep you here
Or be enough to bring you back
but the weeks turned into years
Was there something my love did lack

my mother sat me down to explain
sometimes people, they have to go away
that grandma had gotten sick
and in this world she couldn’t stay

that it wasn’t a matter of love
she loved more she I could define
that just because she went away
it doesn't make her any less mine

The words never connect in the way they were sent
the phrases never heard the way they were meant
the words always jumble and congeal
till the have lost all utterance of appeal

but still I will send each one.
hoping my trespasses might be undone
praying that they might be fully heard
For every emotion I present you a word

with each letter and every poem
I take a step closer to home
trust every promise to be true.
Like me, they were made for you.

We wrote a story, you and I
In our skin and in the sky
With our lips and with our eyes
With our truths and with our lies

Skip the prelude and introduction
Start to strip **** with stark seduction
I love you written inside timid ears
I love you erased all teaming fears

You were all I wanted, all I needed
Hearts exalted, expectations exceeded
Now you’re all I crave, night and day
But along this road we lost our way

Have we more chapters to author
Or did we deliver all we’ve to offer
should we put our pens out of commission
As we reach the end of our fruition

a love we couldn’t put above our selves
Now writhes on rotting bookstore shelves
Deep in those hearts, hard and leather bound
There will be but this inscription found

we wrote a story, you and I
In our skin and in the sky
With our lips and with our eyes
With our truths and with our lies

If you were to cry
I would dry each dropping tear
chase away every encroaching fear
nothing can hurt you, while I am here

If you were to lie
we’d fight the whole night long
finally admit to both being wrong
and with the dawn we'll be made strong

If you were to die
I would swallow the urge to parish too
so I might tell the world all about you
About how love can still, in this day, be true

Is this is what I was destined to be
fighting with you in the dead of night
saying all of the exactly wrong things
in a feeble attempt to make things right

You’re tired of the “I’m sorry”s
they have gone stale in your ears
they’ve been said too many times
in choked voices through thick tears

I just want to stop the fighting
I just want see that smile of yours
the one that pacifies my screams
the bright one, the one that always cures

but instead I just dig in deeper
until the tears start their stream
I wish I could just wake from it
like every fight was just a bad dream

crying ourselves to sleep nightly
push it out and lay my head to rest
Hoping that I’ll wake to a new dream
Take a breath and hope for the best