What is your biggest fear?
Life is mine, **** death.
Life is limited, death’s infinite.
Life is regrettable, death’s inevitable.
Life defines time, but death defies it.

I am just
Another nocturnal creature
Waiting to be put to rest
Why
Was I chosen
To be the one awoke
At the wake of dusk
Insomnia
In some
Is a disease of the mind
This ease of the mind
Would come quicker
If it was not
Looked down upon
Pawns
Push their agenda
Which really
Isn’t theirs
I refuse to use
These rules
Which require
Me to remain sleep
With the rest

It’s hard to find the right words.
Only with time can that part of mind muster
And uncover
The correct terms clustered
And afraid to be spoken,
So they’re just uttered,
Silently
My mind reacts violently from frustration.
The feelings, so true, so blatant,
Will never be spoken.
Instead forever mistaken
For not a feeling at all.
From your mind forever vacant,
While my soul continues aching.
Afraid of being denied, afraid of being neglected,
Afraid of being a lie, afraid of being rejected.
Or is it that I realize the true fears of the words.
Afraid to be recognized, afraid to be respected,
Afraid to be analyzed, afraid to be accepted.
They just cower and remained hidden
In the pit of my soul, feeling so forbidden.
Not to be shown, spoken or even
Written.
Deep down inside I know
You’ll never know how I feel
And I accept my defeat because
I just don’t have the will,
And never will.

By Joseph Childress

This isn't coincidence
These predicaments
Don't occur
From compromise
I promise
This instance
Was made from insistence
Fate
Need not play a role
Why chase you
When I can stalk truth
And take soul a step further
I sing blues
Off cue
And play keyboards
Off key
To mimmick the mockery
Of clowns that show grief
Or clones that make art to show originality
The irony
Can leave wrinkles
In the corner of a smile
But for me
This comedy
Isn't worth my while
If this tragedy
is but a wrinkle
On the loose leaves of the wild
I don't aim
To tame these emotions
I only aim
For your heart
With arrow's pen-pointed
I always draw my words
The most artistic of weapons
If you listen
This suicide will be assisted
Either save face
Or erase your pencil thin smile
Although,
We'll fall from grace
At least
We're falling with style.

Beat me ‘til I’m beaten,
Tread across my heart,
Need not to worry it was already torn apart.
Bled for days, I’m still alive,
Though not in a way most know,
More like a breathing death that continues to grow.
Do what you will; the pain hurts no more.
It’s a part of my life now; feel free to pick the sores.
I wish things were better,
But no time to hope for false goals,
Never one to fantasize the impossible possibility
Of healing my soul…

By Joseph Childress

Notebooks
Full of decorated pages
Display graffiti
Like ancient hieroglyphs
On the walls of caves

These scripts
Lay testament
To the inner workings of soul
And expose
The short coming
Of perfection

This came
In the form of a dream
The realm
Where impossible is the norm
Showing it's possibilities
On a night-to-night basis
And the rules of tomorrow
Are re-written

Socially suicidal
I say the wrong things
At the wrong times
To the wrong people
In all the wrong places
Face it
My face is the last thing
You want to see
On a day is as beautiful as this
Miss me with the *******!
I know you miss me
And the *******!
The scent is foul
But its fouler
To have no senses at all
Since
Youve been gone
Ive been alone
WIth nothing
But a room full of family, friends,
Kinfolk, next of kin
Bad *******, X's,
Potential girlfriends
All in the whirlwind
Of indecision
....since you've been missing
Empty crowds
Full of people
I love
Sure enough
But what's love
Without you!?
Nothing much
I'm Nothingmore
Too much
Is not enough
Not a thing
Unless
Everything
Was the one thing
I gave you
Nonetheless
The lesson
Is none of this
Had to happen
It just happens
To be called
Fate
Rather fatal
****
Cupid'*****
Was supposed to nick
Not split
Me in half
I lost one side of me
ANd you
Replaced it
To make we whole again
And now
I have this hole again
You used to hold me
Now you *** me
As if I didn't
USed to be a ****
But "used to"
Doesnt do much
For this present
Feeling of being used
Too much
****
You used me up
Now Im left amongst
The bitter *******
That would bite a *******
For they let
The taste
Of Love
Eat them alive again
Im amongst the dead
No hopes to be revived
DOn't want to be alive
The pain
Isn't worth
The ability to feel
I gained less
Than what Ive attained
Since
They day I met you
I've haven't been
Myself ever since!

****,
I guess
The foul smell
Isnt worth
The Sense...

Should I leave her?
Pull the lever
That drops her
Or swing the cleaver…

Cut off all ties
Than make a bow
Like cupids
And use it
For another

Arrows arise
At the wrong time
And the blades
Make their way
Through
Your best friend’s chest

****…
I missed
…

I meant to hit you
So we
Could love again
But
I guess
I’m love bent

Midnight cravings
Of food for thought
The hunger for more
What’s in store
I can’t afford
Just need
A little more change
This time
The current
Tides
I’ll ride
Until the currents change
I’ll trade my time
For money
The current exchange
Daylight saving’s
Time
To savor the day
Use each moment
Pursuing the suit
Of happiness
Happy is the destination
Motivation
Is the vehicle
The fuel
Is expensive
Probably
Is it probable
To assume my problems
Are perpetuated
By the
Way I think?
After all
I'm educated
Without a degree
Knowledge
Of a teacher
Without the salary
But
How will I eat??
No calories
Mean
No energy
Seen
Less casualties
From
Just a lack of sleep
The combination
Of both
Bring
Midnight hungers
Which
Brings hope
To
Spring me
Out of this heat
Like the fall
Of the summer
How far is
What I seek?
The back of my mind
Wonders
I wander
To destinations
I can’t reach
Which fuels
The infinite motivation
I need

Don’t read this
Current exchange
Of words
As ink on paper
Read them
Like a new testament
Of the love
I sacrifice
All I ask in return
Is for you to testify in court
As a witness
As I try to appeal
To the layers
Of disbelief
In the jury
As I speak…

Why do we “Fall” in love?
If love is a positive,
And to fall is a negative,
Can someone tell me how it is?
You can fall down with something
That’s supposed to uplift you?
Going the wrong way with love
That’s the only issue.

I believe those who fell in love,
In love they failed,
And their relationship as a whole
Is dispelled as well.
So **** falling, I’d rather Fly in Love,
I’d rather rise to cloud nine in the skies above.
And even still,
I have to keep it real,
It’s hard to tell if what you’re feeling
Is really how you feel.
But instead of leaving our status at a standstill,
I’d rather take small steps so our status still stands.
And in due time we can move on with our flight plans.
I like you, but if I say I love you it wouldn’t be right,
So instead of being in love,
Lets settle for being in like.
When we’re ready take a ride in the skies with doves,
Will be the same time we rise above
And finally
Fly in Love.

The missed
Remain in mind
During times
Of alone
My home
Is the shelter
The shell
Casing my truth
She’ll be coming
Is my lie
As I lay
In my bed
Thoughts racing
In my head
Faster then the sheep
I should be counting
But by the way
Their mounting the gates
I bet I’ll never
Catch the break

She made me watch
As she ate my heart out
Ouch
I felt every grit and grind
Of her teeth

She enjoyed
Every bite
Or bit
Of me

She smiled
With red lips

Ecstatic off my love

Her feast
Was bon appetite
….
She left room
For the entrée
Her true love

I was

But a snack
This time

This life was
A waste
Basket full of tragic
Dead ends

All leading
To the one fall
I refused
To prevent
The
W
o
r
s
e
love.

I try to pretend we're different
But in the end
We're all the same

Who am I to change
Then claim evolution
For myself
And I
My selfish eyes
Saw two more
In the mirror
Foresight
Like glasses
To help focus
Reflections
Can change over time
Like
When puddles run dry
Or ponds turn drought
I hope
With the heart of a thousand soldiers
These tears
Will last long enough
For me to remember
The pain
I usually sleep through the rain
So summer thunders
Under sunlight and lightning
Are often forgotten
Half-experienced
Like a half-hearted attempt
At commitment
Resented
As the public at large
Resends there sentiment
Only to be denied
At the front door

The courage
It takes
To approach the front porch
Of recluse
And extend in invitation
Should be enough
To impress me
However,
Returning to society
Is a leap of faith
That even bravery
Can't help me take

I try to pretend we're different
But in the end
We're all the same

Who am I to change
Then claim evolution
For myself
And I
My selfish eyes
Saw two more
In the mirror
Foresight
Like glasses
To help focus
Reflections
Can change over time
Like
When puddles run dry
Or ponds turn drought
I hope
With the heart of a thousand soldiers
These tears
Will last long enough
For me to remember
The pain
I usually sleep through the rain
So summer thunders
Under sunlight and lightning
Are often forgotten
Half-experienced
Like a half-hearted attempt
At commitment
Resented
As the public at large
Resends there sentiment
Only to be denied
At the front door

The courage
It takes
To approach the front porch
Of recluse
And extend in invitation
Should be enough
To impress me
However,
Returning to society
Is a leap of faith
That even bravery
Can't help me take

(RSVP - Respond, If You Please)
- Joseph Childress

The invitation left me hesitant
On my reservation
Divided between
Plus ones and a party of one

The family affair
Becomes unfamiliar
The apple of my eye, fell far from the tree
How peculiar
My pick
Left me looking at only pictures

The black mirror
Housed my reflection
Broken home
Shone on my broken phone
I play father to rejection

Cold shoulders received
She’s offspring
The fall’s approaching
Like holiday greetings

Who are you bringing?
RSVP.
Respond, If you please.