Warfare isn’t always a fair war.
Welfare says the best fare well.
It’s all fair play but do they really play fair?

But whether rough or fairways,
Through strife you still play
To make yourself whole in one.

I am the master of my destiny,
But it’s difficult to know what I’m destined to be,
So I mastered the skill of poetry in hopes to invest in me.
Thus the power would be vested in me,
And I wouldn’t have to submit to anyone else
To get the best of me.

My words are disturbed,
My belligerent inflictions are deserved,
My fictitious non-fictions are just misheard,
My religious depictions are called absurd,
They rage savagely as they say, “Blasphemy.”
To convey opinions is a task for me,
But if you’re asking me to speak rationally,
Don’t be mad at me, when I ration radically.
My passion was passionately
Passed to me by a God that has to be a part of me,
Or at least partially inside the art part of me.
If He is an entity totally apart from me,
Then why does this feeling remain in my veins?
And please do explain these pains in my
Feet, hands and scalp around my brain.
You say it’s because I’ve been walking all day,
Trying to find my way because I’m lost always,
And all the ways that I take
Bring me back to the same place.
So I sit and write all day until my fingers ache,
In hopes to eradicate my hate and vacate
From this block, city and state
And cop pretty estates.
But writer’s block stops my speedy escape,
I scratch my head until it bleeds to my face.
Still you choose to have hate for my stigmatic fate,
And feel you must take from my ecstatic state,
Just because you frustrate from my enigmatic style,
Then throw sticks and stones to shatter my smile.
Your words won’t hurt,
And flipping the bird don’t work,
And you would never bother to flip through my works.
You just flap your lips and let the whip go berserks,
Until it strips through my soul after it rips through my shirt.

Society is real quick to crucify,
But in this life
It’s do or die
And I refuse to choose to die.
I remember I used to lie
Because my truth was too shy,
But now I’m used to life,
And realize there’s no use to lie.
As I lie on the crucifix these cruel critics fixed upon me,
Just know that I wrote it how it was supposed to be.
Even when I die my fans will be excited to know it’s me,
Resurrected anytime they decide to recite my poetry.

Beat me ‘til I’m beaten,
Tread across my heart,
Need not to worry it was already torn apart.
Bled for days, I’m still alive,
Though not in a way most know,
More like a breathing death that continues to grow.
Do what you will; the pain hurts no more.
It’s a part of my life now; feel free to pick the sores.
I wish things were better,
But no time to hope for false goals,
Never one to fantasize the impossible possibility
Of healing my soul…

The war rages on, fire in the sky,
Pride in the soldiers eyes as they take each other’s lives,
Wives deprived of that last conversation,
Miles away from where the battle is taking place in.
Lives altered on the altar
As they spray the church buildings,
Arrays of bullets breaking down the walls
And the church ceiling.
Silence as the only thing bright they’ve seen all night
Is when a ray of light comes through a hole
In the stained window pane,
Shone in the face of a solider now fallen.
Nothing can change his widow’s pain.
Not a minute wasted to recover the soldier’s remains,
Only time to take cover;
Make haste before your body is claimed.
The fight goes on, no one goes home,
Non early departure from battle grounds
Only dearly departed.
Fire rounds, loud sounds
Can’t remember why the war started,
Nor do you give a ****, too many bodies discarded.
The soldier then finds a space
In the corner of some abandoned place,
Cries tears as he feels disgraced,
Don’t want the “Medal of Honor” they’ll shove in his face.
They don’t know the deep dark secrets
And what took place.
Only the soldier and his enemy can understand
This rage, this hate!!!
This hate to be loved,
The truth he has to face.

He wasn’t faithful to his country,
No,
He was not faithful to his wife.
He’s dead to her,
She’ll never take him back.
She should have left him
The day she found him cheating the wedding night,
She thought he would change,
Thought everything would be alright.
Ignorance over common sense,
The way of ones in love.
These are the wars and battles we go through
When one’s in love.

I REFUSE TO LOSE…
Most dudes are confused,
Stuck between the two,
Wondering if the one is really you,
Or if their mind is playing tricks,
So they just never mind, which is a terrible thing to do.
It’s easy to walk away, and just say,
“I’ll try another day”
Or “I’ll try another way”
The answer is right in their face.
Fear of commitment is what it usually boils down to,
Afraid…
Afraid they’ll give you all their trust, just to get played.

But I’m not confused nor afraid,
See, I’m confident in my confidence,
I know that you’re the way.
You’re the path that god has paved,
And I won’t be led astray.
I’m not like those other dudes,
Confused minds have made them fools,
Fear filled hearts have changed their moods,
I’m smarter, so many mistakes, I know, I grew,
It’s altered my personality and my point of view,
On love, relationships and even you,
You see I’m ready to do, what I know have to,
Packed my thoughts, I’m ready to move,
But there is a problem between us being two,
And my love that problem is you.
Still I REFUSE TO LOSE.
Most girls know what to do,
Confident on who to choose,
No hesitation, no interludes,
No deep thinking, it would just prelude
To lose, who they wanted to give all their love to.
It’s easy to say, “We’re meant to be”,
“He’s meant for me”,
And “Just wait, you all will see”,
Or “I do!”, really fast, before the question has been asked.
Fear of loneliness is the problem
When you look inside,
Afraid…
Afraid they’ll be alone for the rest of their lives.

But those girls are nothing like you.
You're unsure what to do,
Indecisive with your decisions.
Your insecurity has you imprisoned,
Steel bars made from your blurred vision,
And you’ll never break the tension.
You’re not like other women,
Your mind is not confined,
It’s just your heart being blind.
You’ve made mistakes but have yet to grow,
Past regrets will stunt your growth,
You have to Learn, Live and Love to make the most,
Throw away those futile, feudal thoughts,
And let me show,


You don’t have to worry
About those problems and mental feuds,                                                                                 When you REFUSE TO LOSE.

I don’t believe in love at first sight,
But I believe that at the sight of your first love,
It can ignite feelings that they are the love of your life.
But because at first glance, it enhanced your feelings,
Putting you in a trance, it killed your real chance
To have what you so dearly wanted.
You pranced, jumping way too soon,
Making a move before the clock stroke noon,
Not knowing that your prince charming
Could care less if you lived life by the broom.
Regardless of the fact that others seem richer,
When you make haste
He'll return to your place with the glass slipper.
At first sight
You weren’t much a beauty to behold,
Not because you didn’t look amusing, no.
It just took time to recognize
There was more beauty enclosed,
Shown through your mind and soul,
And only time would let it show.
Not even your eyes could notice this beauty,
Only the mind could know.
So even if a man was blind in time he would know,
That you were beautiful.

It’s hard to find the right words.
Only with time can that part of mind muster
And uncover
The correct terms clustered
And afraid to be spoken,
So they’re just uttered,
Silently
My mind reacts violently from frustration.
The feelings, so true, so blatant,
Will never be spoken.
Instead forever mistaken
For not a feeling at all.
From your mind forever vacant,
While my soul continues aching.
Afraid of being denied, afraid of being neglected,
Afraid of being a lie, afraid of being rejected.
Or is it that I realize the true fears of the words.
Afraid to be recognized, afraid to be respected,
Afraid to be analyzed, afraid to be accepted.
They just cower and remained hidden
In the pit of my soul, feeling so forbidden.
Not to be shown, spoken or even
Written.
Deep down inside I know
You’ll never know how I feel
And I accept my defeat because
I just don’t have the will,
And never will.