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 Dec 2012 Jose Martinez
Victoria
"Well, that just doesn't pluck my
                                                                heartstrings."
He said at the girl.
Those ruby lips pursed
and he wanted to part them roughly
                                                                with his tongue.
She flipped her honey hair
sending a wave of cigarette smoke
                                                               and expensive
                                                                                    perfume

filling his eyes
and his head
and his mouth
The urge to grab a handful
and push her to her knees
                                                               grew.

He grabbed her hand
bringing it gently to his lips
looking into her brown eyes, he

                                                             winked.
They ask me if I still love you.

I blush, grin and say;

of course.

Why?

Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue,

but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea.

I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey.

I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance,

and the thunder rumbles from your irises,

and I hear it pound in the back of my mind.

I wonder if you knew.

I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while,

while you look at her.

My throat corrodes with bile.


She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents,

and I shrug.

What am I supposed to say?

I know you think about her.

Night and day.


The hardest part,

is a generic, old saying.

If you love them,

you let them go.

If they love you enough to stay,

or to come back,

you never let go.





But you haven't come back.
EDIT: Wow. Never expected this to blow up as big as it did. I thank you all so much!
EDIT: 2/15/14
i would say i never loved you, but that is a lie.
they say that your *first* love makes *you realize*, your first *love* wasnt really your first.
i pray for the day this happens.
*getting over you was the best thing i ever did.
and i did it for myself.*
so, one last:
*******.
you.***
EDIT: 9/14/14
i still hate you.
and you don't deserve her.
EDIT:   12/01/14
im sorry. you still arent
the same person
and neither is she.
but we all grow up.

EDIT
10/14/20
I was going through my bookmarks
on my old computer and found my old writings.
I just wanted to update this one last time to say things are better,
things are good. Thanks again for all the likes and comments.
I wish we understood the importance of our time
Because once wasted, it's a permanent goodbye.
And in the blink of an eye, that baby is grown;
That brand new building is a crumbling edifice.
And in a single moment there is so much to say
But we waste is away on what ifs and sighs
Because we don't see that we could have something great.
We fear rejection or failure and procrastinate.
As our mothers get older, their backs begin to bend
Under the stress of watching us live in our sins
Because we still fail to realize that she is watching
And that her heart is continually pounding.
Our fathers stay in dismay at our reckless abandon,
Wishing we understood that the clock is tickin'.
He envies the time when he didn't give a ****
And meanwhile, we scorn his old gray head.
It's not until we've wasted precious time
That we realize the truths in their chiding
And we're off getting married or still idling.
No one really cares what the hell we do
But if they did, we'd probably just say "*******"
So soon though, we look in the mirror and see
Our reflection has been altered , how? A mystery.
Because when we are here, time is this luxury.
But those adults over there can't buy it so they envy.
All too soon we are the envious with the hearts pounding
And sitting there thinking, "Time's a wastin'."
On some of their faces
There were traces
Of acne
The oily composition
Of beings born, with fallen wings
Lives birthed under shadows

Outside of the gardens and cities
Where the citadels of refuge hung
We stood
Waiting for our own set of keys

I looked to my left and right
With no idea who was besides me
But there was a vagueness that I needed to explore
Because In the emptiness of your eyes
I found a connection, a glint of my father
We were coming from the same place
Travelers from the open graves of birth
Hoping to find a resting place
Under the cedar trees,
made for temples and made for us
A place to judge
A place to rust
 Nov 2012 Jose Martinez
DK
Starlight, star bright,
All the stars I can see tonight,
Her eyes, they shine,
When she sees him and sighs,
Tonight they will know what it has been like,
With her standing in front of that mic,
Speaking her words to them all,
Telling her stories of fall,
About what they went through,
And all they got into,
About how she crumbled,
While they tumbled,
Her love just wasn't enough,
But she knows that life is tough,
When she cries herself to sleep,
She knows she won't sleep that deep,
Even though this goes on for so long,
She knows she must be strong,
But she can see,
This is how life is ment to be,
Looking at the stars saying,
*Starlight, star bright...
my angel in red
Let's sing along
to songs only we know
I'll kiss your scars
we can smoke and read Thoreau
until we've forgotten time
and slipped under the moon's glow
my angel in red
you can stop the show
now we're alone
you were a missing thread
in my story
read and reread
trying to comprehend
what I was missing
my angel in red
welcome home
For Alexis
 Oct 2012 Jose Martinez
Duck
If you were the sky
Then I'd be the sea
And when you shined bright
It would reflect in me.
When you're at rest
Then I am steady.
If you wanna get rough
I'm always ready.
Past closing at the bars
If you show me the stars
I'll open right up
And cast them out far.
And on the darkest night
If you won't shine a light.
Then I'm silent alongside you
Until you feel right.
We'll meet at the horizon
Where lovers will stare
And wonder with passion
Why they can't meet there.
And you'll share me a kiss
As bright as two suns.
When they meet in the middle
I'll know the days done.
And I can tell that's your way of saying to me.
Goodnight my love.
If you were the sky and I were the sea.
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A lullaby is to sing, sweet moment of an arrival soon to come
sweet child of hers
is feeling the emotions
inside her
a daughter, first time mother,
a lullaby to sing to,
yet still inside,
counting the days is now
six weeks and counting
oh my
a grandmother
waiting in patience
adorable love
will be loved by all
who awaits to see
the tiny
little
toes
fingers
the eye's that would brighten
many members
of the family
six weeks and counting
is the birth
of
Audrina Rose
wait by all
love by first time
mother
waiting for the first time
lay upon a mothers
arms
of love
And I just want to feel your breath
On my neck
And your *******
On my chest
And I just want to feel your lips
On my cheek
Telling me I’ll be okay
When I’m feeling awfully weak
And I just want to see your eyes
Meeting mine
Soft orbs of blue
Too mature for your time
And I just want to hear your voice
Whispering softly in my ear
Be here with me
Be near
I can’t handle this distance
Not only of miles, but of mind
I never could catch you
But god how long I tried.
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