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Every once and awhile
I escape
I get out of this place
It's only momentarily though
I know I will return
Even if I don't want to
(which I don't)
I'll be back here
Just lying
Lying in bed
Not wanting to move
Cursing the world
In a prison of boredom fueled
sorrow


Nothing to think about
Nothing to take my mind off it
Nothing to fill the hole
Look into my eyes
Now tell me, what do you see?
A Sinner? or Saint?

Maybe different?
Perhaps a Human? or GOD?
You see what you want
Death is always in the room.

Death was there when you were born,
patiently standing behind the doctor
as he first held you up
and presented you to your mother,
covered in filth and choking for air.
Waiting.

Death was there when you took your first steps,
in case a truck
were to go careening
across your front lawn,
in a freak accident,
slamming through the front window
and into the living room,
ruining the kodak moment.

Death was there for all the important events,
and all the mundane ones:
Looking on with your father
while you learned to ride a bicycle.
Hovering over midfield
during every soccer practice.
One row down from you
in the orchard
during the rainstorm
when you had your first kiss.

And death is still there now,
one instant away from you,
always prepared
for that driver asleep at the wheel,
for that blood clot come unstuck
from the wall of your femoral artery,
for that gunman
suddenly bursting through your door.

But that’s really the beautiful part of it all.

Everything that's ever happened in your life,
everything that mankind has ever accomplished,
every crying newborn baby,
every impossible feat of exploration achieved,
Death was just an instant away—
a shroud around the entire planet
constantly abided and never
broken through

until the very end.

Death is always in the room.
For Jeremy Izzo
You are the smoke I never want to slip away through my fingers
I do my best to hold on to you and your half sewn soul
The beautiful scars embracing your heart
The darkness that has made you tired
The darkness that ignites little fires

 You are the smoke I never want to slip away through my fingers
Because you stay up with me for hours
You tell me it’s alright when I make mistakes
And that I cannot always have my way
 
You are the smoke I never want to slip away through my fingers
Because you are real and you are raw
And not always strong
You take care of my smile
Keep my feet on the ground
You extract feelings from me,
I thought would never be found
The ones I didn’t know existed
Your hands are my future
Your eyes are my dreams
a creative writing assignment
Learn to keep your head above water.
Enough to watch all the ships sail off.
Wading or conditioning,
know you will never build a boat.
Sensitivity is the boot on your head
drowning you.
Always feeling light enough to carry.
Its drowning you.
Just in time to miss the ships,
swallowed in sunsets and blue deserts.
But maybe you find Atlantis.
Reality stuck, I finally got it.
God I'll miss her, sweet freedom with each breath.
I had to let her go, my imagination has to become it's own.

The ease of life with each light,
Falling freely into a haze.
Sweet smell, sweet taste.
The craze from my day simply erased.
God I'll miss her.

I have to move on, she brought me down.
Who has the right to judge?
She was my release, my sanity.
I have to let her go, the time has come.

I've lost what I needed, she made it go.
I wanted her and it both.
I'll continue on, she'll always be on my mind.
Maybe we'll meet again, her sweet taste filling my desire.
God I'll miss her.......
How's the view from the bottom of that bottle?
Like a kaleidoscope of your life swirling in backwash.
Don't blame me for all you've missed!

They've grown so big, and smart too, you don't deserve to see...
A selfish man you are, take another swallow.
Drown your self in pity, make life a blur.

What was I thinking, becoming your wife?!
What a shame they bear your name...
They are bigger than that, they see who you are.
Disgusting, pitiful, ugly.

Keep looking for the answer at the bottom of that bottle.
Keep missing what you have created.
Walk with you head hung low, take another swallow.
Fall harder, keep drowning....

I see what you don't get to.
I love them like you can't.
I'm the reason they are....
They are strong, they walk with pride.

Go on look for the answer in your bottle.
Do you see?
Go on one more swallow.
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