Hey you, with the mystifying blue eyes that take my breath away with every simple blink. It doesn't matter if it is a few short moments or three full years, I miss you. You got that fire burning inside you that I have searched for as long as I can remember. Call me a pyromaniac, ******* or just a total maniac but I would give anything to feel the scorching heat from it. Just to be close to you whether it be only a few minutes or hours on end. Being with you is one of the few things in life I can say with total honesty makes me happy. It's a rare feeling but with you it is like it could last, more than just the few fleeting moments it usually does. It may have been your looks that initially drew me to you but then I heard your words and it made me realize, you could be the first person who ever challenged me to improve my life and live a better way. When you think of yourself you see the past and your flaws but all I can see is an absolutely beautiful mosaic of all your broken pieces you've fought so long and hard to reattach. You understand me in a way I never imagined possible. Like there were parts of me missing, unknown to me, until you illuminated and cured them. All I can see when I close my eyes is that smile of yours that always makes me feel that maybe life is going to be alright. Who knows if anything is ever going to become of us, if there will ever really be an us. Whether there is or not though you will always be one of the most important and influential people I've ever met. We may not always talk but you are always on my mind and I will always care about you more than I'll ever be able to express.

I've always found the storms that come from hurricanes so beautiful, the power they bring yet the elegance that accompanies it. You can feel a rush of what can only be described as a combination of hope bringing adrenaline charges and total agony filling fear. So much changes during the rain falling, wind slamming, lifhtning striking, thunder clapping moments. A sudden occurance of peace followed by a grand finale nothing could ever prepare you for. For a few brief minutes you think the worst has passed. Those aeconds of innocent bliss can be the best feeling you have ever had. What follows though blind sides you harder than any 300 pound line backer ever could. It hits you in the deepest pits of your stomach, twisting your guts until you wish they would just get ripped out. Those hours and days after though, those are the times you realize just how horrible the aftermath really is and all of the sudden all that hope and happiness you found from the beauty of it all disappears. All you can feel is an eternal emptiness building, ppuring out of you. At least with a hurricane others can see the pain, the devistation, the horrific sights of the aftermath. When it comes to my storm though I'm the only one who can feel it. There was a time when I thought you were going to be my paradise. The thing that saved me from the constant storms I have thrashing around my head. Turns out even paradise isn't safe from the beautiful destruction of a hurricane. You have moved on to give another the peace you once brought me while I sit here trying to put myself back together. Your name might not be Katrina, but it may as well be.

Call me a double-edged sword. Get on my bad side and I'll hurt you now, but get on my other side and I'll hurt you eventually. Call me a weapon of mass destruction aimed at myself. I never know if I'm going to hit and destroy myself or miss and destroy one f those around me. Call me a waste of space, it's not my fault, it's just the way I am. Call me anything you desire. It doesn't matter to me if you think I'm the best or the worst. Tell me what you think about me, not to my back while I'm around the corner just out of earshot but to my face while we're face-to-face words-to-words. Rocks and bats may cause me pain but your words bounce of me like a fly trapped just on the other side of a two way mirror people call a window trying to break through and back into the past. How does one move on from the past when we must always remember the past to learn from it? Look forward to the future but live for now. There are so many directions we are supposed to look and go and they wonder why we get confused over whether x should be equal to 42, pi, or y over z times the square root of World War 2. Wait that can't be right but the lines between right and wrong have never been so blurred. Call me smart. Just because I finish my test a little quicker than most. Call me a cheater, I just know enough to know there is a loophole in ever rule or contract. Call me your best friend. I have Monster and some gum that seems to be all it takes to be a "best friend" now a days. Call me something that will get a laugh and I will laugh right along side you and everyone else. I know who I am and I know what I've done. Whether they have been mistakes or the smartest thing I have ever did. They are my actions and I will stand up for them because at the time they seemed right. Who are you to judge who I am and what I've done? Are you perfect because of you are please don't try training me to be. I have no interest in being what some one may call perfection. Perfection is a cool brisk night in the middle of the fall watching the dancing colors and sparks popping from the pit with the one you have fallen for tucked into the spot only they fit precisely into. To me that is perfection so how can a person be a scenario? It's simple they can't. So don't try to be perfect because perfect because not even perfect is perfect. Just try to be the best that you can be. Call me an inspiration. I'm not afraid to speak my mind and make how I feel about you and this world we're living in known to everyone. Call me a **** in the best way possible. Just because I know how to send you on a trip with my words that looks like it's going to drop you off a cliff when in  reality it drop kicks you straight over the moon. Call me whatever you want to, people who like me show me who is always going to be there and people who don't show me who I never want to be.

Was it really that easy for you? To appear in my life as a flash of lightning. In a beautifully frightening instant you swooped in and struck my heart in a way I had never felt. Gave me a jolt that made me feel alive again. You gave me a glimpse of happiness, a view of hope and a speckle of maybe the future won't be as bad as I have always thought it will. I had never met someone who I saw so much of myself in. The fire I saw in your eyes and the passion I felt when we talked. Having you in my arms made me feel like there may be a few instances of good left in this hell covered world. Your lips drove me to the edge of insanity yet at the same time pulled me from the ledge of the cliff. In just a few short months you became one of the only people I could trust, talk to about anything wrong in my life. The eyes I thought I could follow into the future turned into the eye of the hurricane in a matter of thirteen seconds flat. It went from talking every second we were awake to whenever you decided you could spare a minute. I still hoped it would go back to how it was then you pulled a Houdini and poofed from my life altogether. I guess we have different definitions of forever, I meant it when I said it, apparently you just thought it would shut me up. You went from my redneck princess to a common thief. You stole back your heart but you never realized mine became so attached that it followed yours right from my chest. Now I'm stuck with an empty hole and a few scattered pieces you left behind. Trying to reform whatever I can out of what you left of me.

Heard our song on the radio but there was something different about it. The happiness and unstoppable smile it used to bring to me has been replaced by regret and tears filling me from the inside out. I sit on the same bench we used to but now the space seems abundantly bigger next to me. Our friends keep telling me about how great you're doing and I want to mean it when I say I'm happy for you but I just can't help but wish it was me. Every time I hear your name it's like another piece of my heart chips off and falls to be dissolved by the acids within my stomach. I was young, I was dumb and I never realized just how much better I could've treated you when I thought I was treating you like a princess. My pride and ego never let me see just how unhappy you really were. I thought just because my mind told me we were happy that there was no way it wasn't true. Never saw just how selfish I was really being when we were together or how you wanted something more serious than I was ready for. I never should've let an amazing woman like you walk out of my life. I should've done whatever it took to make you stay. Now it's too late and I'll never get the chance to make it up and to and to fix the mistakes I made. You're all I can see when I close my eyes, haunting me in the back of my mind. It may hurt but I'll be the first one to admit I was wrong when it came to you. I know it's way too late to apologize for the mess I made. I just want you to know I hope he buys you the things you deserve, I hope he holds you close as you walk together to show everyone just how proud he is that you're his. Spends every second he can with you so you never have to feel alone. Takes you out every chance he gets because I remember how much you love to go out. I hope he does all of the things I should've done when you were mine.

The point of no return is one I know well. Many days and nights spent standing on the edge looking over the cliff. Just thinking about how easy it could be to take a dive and not care. Let it all go and be at peace with myself. Just as I started to feel as if the time was right you appear out of no where and give me that glimmer of light. Make me feel like maybe I should take a step back. Reconsider the leap of faith and give it all one more chance. Take another chance at love and allow someone into my heart again. I worry it'll end just like it always does right back here looking down but something is different this time. There is a shimmer in your eye and a fire in your soul that seems familiar to me. It reminds me of a time when I was happy. I've only known you for a few months but I already know you could be my savior. You could be the girl who makes me realize that love really does exist. I love the flame I feel from your heart. Just like a redneck princess you roped my heart and made me feel as if I turned from a frog to a prince with one simple kiss. Just one little kiss but a kiss with a spark I have never felt before. Holding you in my arms I just know that you're the girl I've been waiting for. The one who makes me feel as if I can become a better man. Gives me motivation and hope. I want you, whether I have to wait only a few minutes or if it takes a dozen years, you're the one that I want and the one I will wait for.

I'm over her I swear. Her pretty eyes, the smile that lit up my world, the lips that drove me wild and the voice that melted my heart of ice, yeah I'm over all of it. Why wouldn't I be? It's over right? The past is the past and the future is what really matters. The future without her, that's the way it's meant to be, isn't it? That's why she found someone else and moved on from me, just like everyone else does eventually. She is over me so why is it that every time I  think I'm in the clear she manages to appear back in my life like she never left. I want to hate her for it. I want to be able to look my best friend in the eyes and honestly say it doesn't go to my head when she tells me how she misses talking to me. I want to be able to go one **** day without wondering what could have been if I had been the type of guy she wanted. One simple day without missing her kisses, hugs, pouty lip or scent. Is that really too much to ask for? I've done my time all I want is to be released from this living hell I've been in for almost three years. Even inmates get some time to themselves at least once a day. She was there through the best times of my life and the one day that I would give anything if I could go back and stop. I miss the fights, at least while we were fighting she was mine. I could still tell her that I loved her and kiss her until everything else faded away and the world just felt right. Now all I can do is stare into the cupboards and think how easy it would be to put the bottle to my head and pull the trigger. End the pain, the thoughts, and the memories in one quick move. It takes all the energy I have left just to stop myself and I really don't know how much longer my will power can hold out. You want to know if I'm truly over her? I can look you in the eyes and tell you there's not a chance in hell of me being over her.