I don't understand,
I still think about you every ******* day.
I lay in bed,
Wishing I could be by your side, wishing I could go back to the times we had.
Even the stupid arguments because at least I still had you then.
Now I have nothing but a couple notes,
out of the hundreds we exchanged,
and maybe a couple pictures,
deleting most because I can't stand to look at them,
But mostly its all in my head,
the memories.

Thinking of you just hurts.
I wish you would come to my door and apologize and kiss me hard.
But that's insane to even think that could be possible.
I miss you so ******* much.
I miss our kisses,
and our naps,
and our cuddles,
and our snow fights,
and ******* sitting next to you while you played your stupid computer games because you still acknowledged me and you'd kiss me.

I want your skin on my skin.
I want to stare into your eyes and see that sparkle you used to get when you saw me.

I love you so much.
I can feel my heart breaking.
I hope you can feel it too.

I saw this quote,
and it gave me hope.
Hope that your love would come back..
and then we could start over..
but then I saw you.
Of course,
I got butterflies.
Butterflies that exist off idiotic hope.
I felt my feelings beam off me.
As if the butterflies escaped from my stomach.
You knew I still felt the same,
and I knew that.
I guess you thought you'd try for the spark we once had.
So,
You kissed me.
And I wanted to feel something so bad.. but I just couldn't.
The spark was gone this time.
And maybe it was because I was the match and you were supposed to be the flame,
but instead, you were cold.
I thought it would be so different..
That it'd be magical, I guess.
It wasn't.
Everything's so different now.
It will never be the same.
And it's time for me to say goodbye.