No words to find
No words to say
No words to describe
No words that explain
No words for solace
No words for the sane
No words to take it back
No words for a tongue that is lame

None at all

You've said you've never seen a painting in that light.
Guilt stricken smile and cigarette hardly putting up the fight.
Ode to the liars, sad song singers, as the wound is reopened by the knife.
We know we're both drowning so, god, quit frowning and pretend that you're okay with giving up on your life.

She flashes the ivory
And bats the lash.
She swears she needs me
But only when I'm nothing but ash.

You wrapped yourself in feathers
I drowned in the flames

The mirror never judges time.
It silently watches us age.

I had a good day. I swear it.
Nice weather. Good company.
But you...
Bleeding stress hole in the lining of my stomach.
No. You won't let me have anything.
Won't let me have anything other than blood.
Gift wrapped in *****.

The stage is set and players in costume
The catastrophy unfolding in the gloom
Dancing silhouettes of daggers surrounding
The bride and groom

Two birds caged in the same room
Singing sad songs.

I'm standing in the way
Finding words to say to you as you're walking through
And pretending that I was never even there
They catch it in the air
The sunrays and your hair have the time to dance and shine
Adding more weight to your angry glare
And I'm thinking it's a sign
How your hand fits so perfectly laced and intertwined when
I hold it inside of mine
There's something in the way
You alleviate the pain and make the sadness wane
You, a fire
And me, the ice.

Songs of voice
Of soul
Of tongue
Of heart
Build a soundscape striking a chord
In me

Dance on the brined surface
Porcelain mug hot to touch
Aroma tempered love rises steam

The first sip brings blessings
The second a flavor devine
The third a clarity of dream

It took my breath
I drowned in this
Wonderful world

"Home is where the heart is"
But it is also a cold hard ground.
Six feet under.
With you.

Chew slowly so when you swallow...
You swallow your pride.

I'd rather chase both with seawater
From the oceans of despair
And drown in it

As though a dream parting when woken
You parted from our house and home
The mornings had become so morose
The bed was too big when alone
But the season changed as it always will
The tears beginning to fade
I slowly find myself less somber
Pain beginning to wane

Keep my feet on the ground
Keep my head in the clouds
Don't let my eyes fall away
And don't let my heart down

She said it doesn't feel a thing like falling
Moreover a flailing trip to the hospital
And smoothed over the fresh scars
Reminding me that there's hope in it all
Not in a broken heart lost inside itself
But in a memory forgiven and saved
It will soon again become whole and full
A new road to travel working to be paved

Keep my feet on the ground
Keep my head in the clouds
Don't let my eyes fall away
And don't let my heart down

The healing process began
Itching scabs cover raw flesh
I let go of you finally
Your poisons no longer linger in my veins
I find it easier to breathe
Without your fumes clogging my lungs
And I'm not happy about what happened
Nor am I whole yet
But I sleep much more soundly
Without your claws in my side
The only thing I wish for is this
Take the memories away along with the last of your things.

A scenario of impossibilities
Another unverse laid over
I realised I was dreaming at once
The moment you pressed your lips to mine
Open my eyes and shudder
Blink away the tears of sleep
Roll over and check the human condition
****** electronic doom device
Your missed calls and messages
Dread creeping into my chest
You're playing me again with your game
You missed me only today
First cheerful morning in over a month
Now the hole grows larger


I despise that I still am in love with you

Like a knife in the back
I can't grasp it.

You let your anger bring screams from your mouth
I let my grief grow tall
You soften your blows in mercy of heart
I stand naked before you and all
I drink to see double so I'm no longer alone
Not alone with me in the mirror
You left just over a month ago
Yet I still feel you here

When you lose your faith in me
Please don't cry

Now that it's all said and done
And the changes have begun
Once in love with simple me
Can't be in love twice with me
And smile and hide the hurt
Throw your heart back on your shirt
Once in love with simple me
Can't be in love twice with me

Oh the pain that he withdrew
As I wait here alone for you
Longing for when your heart would lead me
Hopefully straight right to back you

Could we
Please
Just leave
And run back to the days
Turn back to the day
It was perfect
Could we
Please
Just leave
And run back to the days
Turn back to the day
It was perfect

I'll still wait without a word
Hoping you'll fly to me, my bird
Once in love with simple me
Can't be in love twice with me
Now that it's all said and done
And the change has just begun
Once in love with simple me
Can't be in love twice with me......

And then you came back
To sleep in our bed
But I can't forgive myself

Home is a hell fire
Where the heart once was.

I dreamt I awoke
I was missing something
That was never there
Folly of fate

I dreamt that I awoke
And you were still here

Packed up boxes
A couple totes
Leather books
Mostly clothes
Angry memories
Tears and woes
Broken hearts
Broken homes
Leave the ring
Take a shot
Sobs of anguish
Left to rot
I ****** up
And all for naught
She packed and left
I'm all I've got


I can't keep going after this.
Sorry guys.

It devours
A souless hunger
Tearing away pieces of the heart
'The sadness grew"
With a monstrous belly
Feeding on the tears of this man
"Joey, I'm not happy"
"You did this"
The beast smiles and takes a bite
A feast! a feast!
A divorce at least
Have another drink and go be ******

If only I could find the...
What was it?



....



****.

No wrath to fit
A martyr's crime
Paid in blood

Looking for the words to describe
How I see your flawed existence
Broken haphazardly spiraling into the distance
"Do you know what your sin is?" She asked
Angry
Bitter
Vindictive

Cancerous
That's a good word
No sin of mine but the combined sin
Of my own and myself
Yes
Cancerous works
"No I don't know what sin is."
The most perfect reply
Seething in my word play

The word burning through my lips
Fanged verbiage no longer held at bay

"****"

"Ich liebe dich"
She dreams in german
Eyes flutter
Cheeks flushed
Biting her lip
"Fir iber und ewig"
She says
Smiling softly
In whatever adventure we're on
Dancing across her eyelids

If only she meant me.

Chess bleeds the sins
     From my mind
          Into captured kings.

Trying
Trying to form
Trying to form the thought
It hurts too badly
The toilet calls for me
Trying
Trying to find
Trying to find the shirt
I lost in my stupor
Wretching at every step
Trying
Trying to think
Trying to think of where
In the ******* I am
Who's house is this?
Trying
Trying to force
Trying to force the water
To stay inside my stomach
Every breath brings more *****
Trying
Trying very hard
Trying very hard to stand
The room spins in a terrible way
Fall to the floor alone
Trying
Trying not to
Trying not to smell
The smoke and whiskey stench
Throttling the air around me
Trying
Trying to remember
Trying to remember my steps
Bringing me to this painful juncture
Lost memory blackened out
Trying
Trying to will
Trying to will myself
Into believing this is my house
And that I need help here.

You can't hide those lies behind your eyelids
Shutting them tight so you won't see the world where we live
Trusting yourself to let it loose
Between the work, the love, the life, and the self-abusiveness
Throw up those waking nightmares
As I'm the taste of bile that will always reside there
Just go ahead and face it
Those lies behind your eyes give me no form of entertainment

Sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying
Pain pills down you throat leaves you no room to fly in
Desperation makes you angry
You don't know when your dreams will set you free
This time you're going to go a little too far
From the devils your run from to the drunken dents in your car
But shut those lying eyes
So you'll never see the story end with the way that you die

Was once cane now resolved to gold
This yeast and barrel turn to my soul
Black liquid that I can hold
Burn the throat and warm the bones
Heal the wounds and fight the cold
Liquored down til I grow old

My friends Jack and Jim
Sing so very wonderfully
Whiskey lullabies

"I've decided that I know
Exactly what you are"

My love
My hate
My heart
My rage
My blessed morning star

You cry and flail
You cringe and run
Your feet take you so very far

Those demons painted on your dreams
Lash out
In hopes to scar

I watch you cry, your dream state dies
One breath from death afar

I whisper
"Love wait"
And smile
And hate
And give chase with you in my arms

There was never any question

My breath will tell you

Her clever fingers dance
Across crisp whites
Satin blacks
Gracing me the privilege
Of experiencing the most intimate
Of intimacies
A spry strike of a chord
This one a sublimely soft touch
This one a vicious attack
All as her fingers dance
Deftly in love with the keys
The word sacred comes to mind
As though not meant for eyes
Struck wordless in awe
She'll never love me the way she does that piano
I'm sadly fine just watching

I meant to write you this
A poem for a friend
But seeing as you died today
This too comes to an end

My nerves hurt
From a sledge hammer and wedge
This venomous vicodin
Got me standing over a ledge
Biting my heels
Pushing me closer to the edge
And running from it don't work no more
Shoot me instead

Fallen a victim
To the dagger of remedies
"Oh no your heart broke?"
"Man, get off your knees"
No more anger no more hatred
"Trade your pain for these"
And if I'm broke it's okay
"I can get what you need"

Rose up from the anger
Now ends with regret
The pills keep me alive
If barely not just yet
A shell of what I thought life was
Now, never upset
How to go on living
Gentlemen place your bets

I lie
I lie as I lie in bed
I lie saying sleep will come soon
I lie

I sigh
I lie as I sigh to the sunrise
I lie saying I'll make it through
I sigh

I try
I lie as I try to function in daylight
I lie saying I'm that alright
I try

I die
I lie as I die from exhaustion
I lie saying I'll sleep finally
I die

I am unclothed
Struck about the head
A match meant to be burnt
For you

And I loved you there
Lips pouted in rebellion
So many leaves to shred
So many ghosts to chase
The glass doors were closed.

And I loved you there
As you deciphered numerical impossibilities
On another plane of reality
Brow furrowed in intimate concentration
I averted my eyes from the questions you pondered.

And I loved you there
Angry fists filled with contempt towards yourself
Unable to find the words
A mirrored universe between us
And you can't get through.

And I loved you there
My incredible, awestruck son
Trapped, forever a child
Contemplating the mysteries of life
You discovered the truth of this world.

An angel's smile struck your lips
And I loved you there
As you forgot it all.

Raining
Clouds cry away the sins
Of the desolate city.

Different colored eyes
Each seeing life the same
Take in each moment in time
And paint it in blue or green
The shades of grey and red
Of violets of black
Every textured agreement
Any visible demise
All taken into account
By my differently colored eyes

She smiles in her sleep.

Dreams paint the best pictures.

Her canvas behind her eyes.

If you're alone
And I'm alone
Why don't we be alone together?

We can have a drink and
Shoot the **** and
Talk about the weather.

Because I know this world
Has got you
Shaking in your shoes.

So if you're alone
And I'm alone
Why don't we be alone together?