Can you hear my loudness,
In all this silence?
When you are near me,
Do you whisper to me quiet?
I cannot hear past the sound,
Echoes and echoes,
Chasing each other like waves,
Crashing like thunder,
Shaking the walls,
I tremble and shake.
All the outside disappears,
Into the blindness,
Into the colors,
Into the mindstorm.
Into the scream.
I fall into it all,
I float,
Wait to drown,
Lost in sound.
Till I was up on your shore.
In the quiet,
In the stillness,
I am whole.

It's in your eyes
The magnet that pulls me in
Draws me closer to the breath
The pulse
The need
Fuels and pushes
Drives

God your hands
Rough and strong
Gripping so tight
Bind
******
Enthrall
Chafe shivers along my skin

I dream you
Up against me
Bringing me back
Need
Desire
Release
And I dream you again

I am Janus, born and lived of two faces.
One, a tragic Hero; who loved  for all and forsook fame for honor.
A paragon whose powers and skills remained dormant, forgotten.
Created from a darkness so black that light could only ever be the way forward.
He, so loving the world and resigned to protect; would fall at the strength of his own sword to keep the Villain at bay.
His other face, the frightening Villain; he thirsts for the unparalleled fear in the eyes of the unprepared masses,  who wide awaken their darkest fear before their very eyes, at his presence.
Forged from the evil of a holy goodness ripped too sweetly from his purpose, and with much foreknowledge of the searing light;
He merely wishes to satiate his amusement, by enslaving the Hero to defend against his endless onslaught.
I am Janus, cloven in two;
Heart and Soul, Mind and Body.

Why does love
For you,
Feel like
A tearful goodbye?

Love makes everything-
Sweet uncomplicated Love.
Love just is...Sweet.

I stand there and hold her hand.
She knows, I can wrap up her whole being
With love and comfort, to soothe the damage,
That lifetimes of pain bring one person.

I live for death of emotion and what comes next
gladly walking through deep darkness until
she can see, at the end of the tunnel-
Light. The light of the happiness they all deserve.

She asks me," What is that? It's so close, so warm, so bright; how did I not notice how close it was?"

I tell her. Slowly." You weren't ready to see it, and needed to be guided back to the place we were all meant to go. Go on, and find what you didn't know you needed."

She looks at me and asks me if I'm coming. I look down and said," Haven't you figured out how these things have to be? I can only guide you, and you will find the way out; I can only wait for my guide to find me. Don't you remember how long you were lost in the darkness?"

She walks into the light, the most beautiful thing. I've ever seen.
This is the moment that strengthens me against the darkness.
Every time.
And I wait. In darkness.
And wait.

I stand in awe of something that occurrd to me.
Fate. Fortune.
These things we seek in resolute fervor.
They pay their heed, merely at whims ineffable, like darts on a board.

I stand in awe, yes.
But I shake as I start to realize-
A newer concept of horror
that fate and fortunes deign to reveal to me:
No matter your work, will, or penitence;
Fortune and Fate cast their darts,
Not on the deserved or the courageous,
But on the fool,  the lucky, and the enabled.

I stand there. Shaking my fist.
Full of a boundless rage that could only ever come from the righteous.
And I will,
Dare to fight head on;
And create conflict against what fate would bring, and fortune wouldn't bother.