Little by little,
a piece at a time.
Chipping away at what used to be mine.
Insidious impulse
masquerading as need.
Lie, cheat, and steal its only purpose, to feed.
Laying waste to my health,
and twisting my mind.
While, all the while, it renders me blind.
Calming my demons,
or so it makes me believe.
Yet giving me all the more reason to grieve.

Stumbling against the will of probability
in the infinite, indefinite, unyielding wait and see.
Wagering the future on a lapse of sanity.
Despite advice, still thinking twice, I brace for what will be.

Soft lips
and gentle fingertips.
Slowly, inhibition slips
away.
With nothing left to say.
Nothing standing in the way.
We touch.
At first, it seems too much.
Never before have I felt such
a thrill.
As if time is standing still,
not letting another moment pass until
the desire we share is, at last, unrestrained,
a primal exhibition of passion unchained.
Bodies entwined, a frenzied display.
Everything else just melts away.

It's simply just a chemical reaction, nothing more.
Developed as an unavoidable means to ensure
the survival of the species, a genetic safety net.
Filled with hope and promise, but it just leads to regret.

A co-dependent waste of time romanticized in vain,
quenching your emotions as it drives you quite insane.
Soft, enticing agony, a velvet shrouded fist.
Malignant smoke and mirrors, but still maybe worth the risk.

What if only there could be a way
to know what lies ahead.
What if only I knew how to say
the things I've left unsaid.
What if only this was meant to be
and fate was on my side.
What if only it was clear to see
there's no reason to hide.

Digging out from under
everything that I've become,
trying hard to separate
the pieces from the sum.
A difficult solution,
but one long since overdue.
I just hope I don't collapse
before I can break through.

Heart and mind racing,
still pacing my cage.
Blindly retracing
each step just to gauge
the odds that I might
get through this in one piece.
Too tired to fight,
yet unable to cease.