wading through the water
think you'll never faulter
because it all comes together
through the stormy weather
when the waves crash, crash
it seems like it won't ever last
but it all adds up
yeah it all adds up

oh the math never burns out
you will never have to shout
i always understand what
it takes to have some fun
so let your hair come down
so let the rain touch the ground

ive been inspired to be uninspired
and all the things happening right now
seem like some sick and elaborate plan
i will take myself out of this and live forever
its time i take responsibility for all of this cruelty
everything ive ever inflicted upon you and them
was unintentional even when i meant to do it
i am out of my mind and ill be the first to admit it
but that doesn't make up for the ramblings of a dull man
and when i was just a boy i didn't realize the repercussions
all that i saw i took in with open arms and soaked it up like a sponge
now they live deep inside me crying out to be exorcised
but even exercise cant take me away from where im at right now
every breath burns my lungs like all of these cigarettes
i inhale with a vigor like nothing else ive ever done in my life
fixated on the thought of you under the streetlight that night
so pretty and pure and you ran away because i liked to fight
its all my fault and the guilt i feel cant purge me of that
so now i just sit here and wonder what you think of me
always thinking of myself and disregarding the rest
that's the curse that's been brought down like a sledgehammer
onto my deformed and ***-backwards ******* smile
for no reason am i entitled to feel like i was owed something
i just wanted to see you but there i go with the me-me-me's again
so this is for you, wherever you are i don't even know
nor do i even care that much because you'll always live within me
i just hope you find someone to bring you everything you seek
i was weak before and you were too strong to be with something this meek

"A rat is a rat."
He said
"Attack, attack."
His double vision
Scares me sometimes
The way he fuses word
And ties ideas lines apart
He thinks along a separate plane
Always conscious of the next step
"A live rat is worth less than a dead one."
He looks down
"Because a dead rat is already dead."
I shake my head and
I agree, wholeheartedly
But he stares at me
Unsure if I comprehend his meaning
"Your eyes tell me you don't feel the same way,"
And his eyes dart to his shoes
I open my mouth to speak
"You don't have to explain yourself,"
He blurts
"You're the kind to pay the lowest price.
Even though you have the money."
I smile and languish the comment
I was raised in Hell
And the Devil doesn't pay well
"You're the type of man who'd never think of paying more when he can get what he wants for less.
Especially when it means he gets to **** a rat himself."
He knows me
He scares me
He lets me speak
"You know me too well."

Oh the things incomparable
To a fading, degrading
Disposition and perspective
Pondering the ends of ends
The nooks, the crannies, the bends

Outlook is the base of all things
The flimsy thread that holds thoughts in place
The frayed wire that connects the thought to feelings
It's all so trivial, maniacal, stone-sturdy
That things feel perpetually dull unless you're hurting

Biological process fused to creative intent
How do two wholly different and separate ways,
One emerged in science, the other in nature, get along?
This is something I don't entirely understand
But it never hurts to wonder when time says that you can

She wore red satin
Dancing discreetly under stars
Love's hatches were battened
Riding in freshly painted cars
She swore off men
With big mouths and no ears
As she longed for her story to be told
To everyone, young and old

She came from ***** streets
Trash bins filled with beer cans
But she was born to keep a beat
Tapping, tapping her feet
Until everyone had gotten up from their seats

She works the stage
Like its the only thing she's ever known
Pacing and swaying
It's where she knew she had truly grown
A strong woman
With a heart of gold
Flowing hair of the angels
And a demeanor truly bold

Her daddy was a stern man
He'd come home
Still with drink in hand
Looking to pick a bone
But her face could calm
Even the most violent of men
Her occupation then was diffusing bombs
When she got older
And realized her life wasn't hers
She grew colder
Left her father
And became the killer
Everybody wants

Repressed energies
Planting sickly seeds
Biting the hand that feeds
Doing disgusting deeds
Grabbing the fist that leads
Sweating discoloured beads
All to the rhythm of the marching team

As day comes
And day goes
Nights say hello
Nights bid goodbye
The more I realize
You will never truly be mine

It just can't be
Logic simply won't have it
That I, merely me
Nothing to really write home about
Mentally or physically
Can ever call you
You, you
Everything, always
Every bit of you
Mine

See
Parts of you
Well, chunks, really
Are still his
And then there are all those
Other pieces
Wheeling
Through space
That are unattainable
By anything
With a beating
Heart

This may just be
My resignation
I don't know
And I'm starting
Not to care
And I'm okay with that
Truly fine, actually
I'm content
So
I think this just might be
It

Everyone knows that rhyme pays
So I don't know why more people don't try
Everyone knows they can't stay
After they jumble their meanings in between lies

I don't think people get the gist of this thing
This thing called life in which were all our own king
These situations brought up just so we can get up and sing
And thinking of ways to slow down with more *******

People try to ******* you
But if my memory serves me well
I've gotten pretty good sorting **** from the true
And if you wrap your stink in perfume and try to sell it
To me I believe I will leave at the scent of the fever

Fat women with
Fur coats
To warm their overfed
Heaps of mass
Holding overpriced
Elongated, mechanical strings
Attached to their
Mouse-like dogs
That wear clothes
That cost more
Than my entire outfit
Shirt, jeans, boots, jacket
Combined

They yap to small devices
Glued to their ears
Like instruments
Of envy and jealousy
Yelling at their husbands
Or boyfriends
Or pool boys
Who haven't done their job
Either paying for whatever they want
Or neglecting to net out
That last nat
From their jacuzzis
Where they sip white wine
And sizzle in soapy water
Before getting out
And slipping on shoes
Made by kids
In Cambodia
Who have never held
A hundred dollar bill

What is wrong
Who is right
What is it
That's been done
Here
None of it makes sense
To me

Take a deep breath
A moment to take it all in
Check your head before you ring that bell
As it sounds and cliche as it is

It does no good to act
Without thought
And truth becomes fact
Without a war, hard fought

So sleep gently
And breathe deeply
Thank the stars nightly
Stay tucked in tightly

Just let your chest rise and fall

Easing, gently down
To where origins lay flat
Rising up again

you're ******* guys on camera now
but i knew you before it was now
can't even stand to think of you now
but now i want you more somehow

never knew you like i thought i did
dreamt of you when i was a kid
didn't think it would blow up like it did
an atom bomb detonated in the cockpit
and now you're acting like you never gave a ****

you said that you'd love me for forever, babe
but we're just photographs left in the sun to fade
when we got together i was just looking for some shade
some relief from the pain, god obviously forbade
now i'm just kind of glad that you never stayed
feeling like i was robbed straight from the cradle

its a
post apocalyptic,
polyurethane
pullover
party.

we've got our
sighs of relief,
stop signs,
superficial sorrows.

so please let us
rest our heads,
righteously
railing against
roaring wrongdoings.

its our
right as
rolling ghosts
ruining
really rare
riots.

rotting
festering
rotting
rotting
perpetually
spinning
decaying
d­issolving
disgusting
dormant
coagulating
coats
still
freezing
fry­ing
drying
stinking
encompassing
stench
rotting
boiling
rotting
r­otting
dying

Run
Run
Run
Away
Jump
Jump
Jump
Out of your body
Let
Let
Let
It go
Don't
Don't
Don't
Think twice
Never
Never
Never
Regret
Just
Just
Just
Breathe

Run down the valley
Kick your feet through the hills and
Some day you will fly

"I'll come back in the morning,"

I know you've heard that before
I know you don't wanna hear it no more
Acting like talking to me is a chore

And I get it, I really do
But I'm making this promise to you
I'll always be there when you're blue

I feel so basic saying it
But what we have between has always been lit
So close your eyes now, relax with me and take this hit

I'm trying to make it any way I can
I just need you to be there when I land
After I'm done building these castles out of nothing but sand

Walk the edge
Where the waves are black and white
Your feet pad the sand
As the water greets and says goodbye

Cyclic motions
To and fro
Come forth then go back
Just let it go

All of the light
And all of the dark
This polar place
Is where I felt a spark

Inside my head
Eased by the certainty
That everything is one
And nothing is left out

dawn to dusk
dust to dust
trust me, trust us
undo these cold handcuffs

you caused a fuss
i missed my bus
they were staring at us
two big oaks, sapped of luck

we've been ******
since the start
this life *****
but play your part
push that cosmic shopping cart

They wanted him to go
To disappear in the woods
All alone

He wanted to leave
To live on a beach
All alone

But they just couldn't do it
They could never let him go
By himself

Because they knew he'd never
He'd never come back

So they tied him to the barn
They beat his limbs dead
They taped his mouth closed
Wrapped a bag around his head

He moaned and he bled
And they just laughed and pointed
"He's done for," they agreed
But they could never stick a man like him

When the sun went down
And the moon shined bright
He gained the strength
To stand and fight

He shook off the ropes
The bag and ties
He coughed up the last of the blood
And soon held his head high

He looked to the distance
At the house and all the animals
And smiled and smiled
Because he was done with them fools

Called out sick two days in a row/
Manager's a **** he don't even know/
Oh when it's all said and done, done, done/
All that matters is that we had some fun/
So just hear me out, take my hand, please/
Forget my wallet, never remember my keys/
None of that today, no we don't need it/

Outside the Sun hides behind comfortable tufts of white/
On the ground sits stacks and piles of fallen vanilla/
Days are wasted when you don't think twice/
But it don't matter when you've got someone to make you feel so right/

On the edge of post modern discomfort/
The sky looks twisted when you feel like ****/
Trying to speak but all that comes are little words/
Blue inside but the outs are burned, turned red/
Beaten down by the gentle pecks of the birds/
All I ask is for a little but of overhead/
Let me just stay here in my bed/

On the distant planet where we met
My eyes seeped into your heart
The volcanoes and earthquakes that resulted
In building me up to break me apart
The words that were translated
Turned out to be nothing more
Than silly misunderstandings of Earth-speak
That coagulated once they were washed ashore

The sea turns from that icy blue to neon green
When the trees sway in the wind
As we walk these *****, unforgiving vacant streets
Hand in hand, we weather the weather
Whether it be rain, snow, hail or sunshine
The few people left never seem to know
The way our souls are eternally entwined
So take this statement as a final enchantment
Stitch it to whatever is left of your pieces
I need you to know that I'll never be gone
Even when death comes, we are forever unceasing

You say you hate it
And you hate all of that
But what you feel isn't black
Only love is all red and that
Is what makes it vibrate
Along the shore, through the water
Everything draped in red and black
Because black and white couldn't cut it

Things seem so sickly so sound
At the same time, what an anomaly
Opposites truly do, they seem to attract
It's simple science, it's basic math
Just look up and down is right below
Like your heart as it sits beneath your pillow
Look me in the face and tell me it's true
Look in my eyes like you used to

We walked in silence. Through the water and the dirt and the mud. We avoided eachothers' gaze as we gripped our rifles and let the thought of death pass through our brains with ease. We'd learned to come to terms with the blood. Knowing what we know, we have but no other choice. We have to be comfortable with the uncertainty of death. And in that, we find a sad peace. A solemn look on the face of the horrors hidden deep. A straight gait to disguise the anxieties of dying at the hand of a man with no real knowledge of what it is to die before his time.

And so we marched on, eyes squinting and mouths puckered. The air filled with the fumes of agents designed to poison and ****. Nothing is right here and, yet, nothing is wrong. This is who we are, who we're meant to be. And when the final shot has rung out, we will all know that it was all for something, all for security, all for the greater good. A life for the lives of the innocent. Lives for the life of the powerful. In the end, we know... It's all for nothing.

And when they find this, if they find this, they wil take it as just another note scrawled on the blood-stained pages of man with a duty to uphold and nothing but a life to give.

what you see is not
always what you get
I've come to soak up
your pain and maybe if
I can succeed in that
I will feel that sense
of accomplishment and
love that I seek.

Day out and day in
She moves in unimaginable ways
Through thick and through thin
Horrifically sweet sounds seem to always play
As she makes her way
As she makes her way

To die alone and out of sight
Seems a fitting end
To go out with not a flicker or a bite
Seems just around the bend
With walls keen to swiftly close in
And windows prone to paint themselves dark
The only way through fire is to sin
As all the water's been sprayed through a hole from a pin

so there's this girl that i met
about a month ago
yeah, maybe a little over a month ago
might be two months, for all i know
but i digress

my point is that this girl
she likes me
she likes me a lot
and i like her
i like her a little more than a lot
maybe a little too much more

but there's this problem
it's been around since the first words we spoke
and it's been clouding my brain
for as long as i know her
and i just can't seem to let it go
and i'm usually good at that sort of thing
but i guess everyone gets a little
broken
sometimes

see, this girl
i work with her
we talk for hours
and hours
while we're serving customers
and trying to hide the fact
that we might talk a little too much
from the other employees
and the management
because that's bad for business, you see
customers can't take notice
or even have the slightest cause
even for a moment
to wonder
or think
that anything may
or may not
be going on behind the scenes
between the people
that serve them behind the counters
at the movie theatre
it's just unprofessional
people have gotten fired for this
lots of them, so i hear

we have a problem with that though
see, when we're around eachother
it's hard to act normal
per say
it's hard to seem unassuming
when the person you want
is right there
only inches away from you
it's hard to fake something
that's just so real
so we don't do that good of a job
to say the least
of keeping what we are
what we have going
on the down low
so we constantly get things like
"you two better be dating"
and
"you two act so much like a couple"
and, the classic
"aww, you guys are so cute together"
i shrug it off for the most part
or i just smile
just a bit (because i can't help it)
and say something like
"no, we're just friends"
or
"no, it's not like that"

but it is
it is like that
i want it to be like that
i wish and i hope that it could be like that

but going back to what i was saying
that little problem that's been shadowing me
and prodding at my thoughts and my dreams
is that
she already has a boy

Carnivores in the cabinet
Theology through and through
Mothers can be so mysterious
Babies born into Barnum & Bailey's
Karate kicking you in the ****
Piercing through your pathetic *****
Dangerous days and dumbed-down digital
Filming from the foyer, frame by frame
Losing your lackeys
Can't find your car keys
Utmost ulterior and undulating oceans
Aliens acting antsy
Dogs doing down-beat digging
Anti-aging advertisements in America
Over our own oak trees
People picking in Peru
Sensing something sinister sliding silently south

Things never seem the same
When you look back from whence you came
Realization hits you like a wheelbarrow full of bricks
This newfound process only worsens your little mental ticks
And then you don't know what to do or who to run to
And your left debating the worth of what they say is true

Living in a constant state of question
Asking yourself: "Do they know what they do only lessens
the quality, and probably quantity, of your years here on Earth?"
Always weighing the pros and cons of your fickle worth
In and out and out and back, your minds changes and warps
Never knowing what to feel and what to just ignore

It's days like these when I wake up
And instantly feel the crushing weight
It's 8 AM and you've already had enough
As though your confidence is many years too late
Thinking and mulling over and over-analyzing
Co-morbid guilt and selfishness can be paralyzing

So you decide to lay down and get in bed
Only you've spent way too much time doing it
The only thing is that your body is pure lead
And you can't figure out the right way to go about it
You talk yourself out of it but it's no use
There is no winning this when you have to settle to lose

In nature
How the river flows
No rapture
A flower dies and it grows
Trust in my words
When I don't know what I'm saying
Trust is for the birds
As they touch clouds, they're flying

As is life, as are you
People come and go
You love me and I loved you
I would've done whatever you said so
I'm just another one of those people
Now I'm a ghost and more than before
Now you're weakening and growing more feeble
I gave you so much, now I'm gone and you want more

So this is me
And this is you
What to be
What to do
I'm set on go
And you're stuck on me
You never thought
You'd be so lonely
So you say
But you hold back
You always hold back

you were the girl smoking cigarettes outside
the girl with nothing to hide
as you moved toward me
in a way that's clear to see
you knew what you were doing
i knew just from the way you were moving

a predatory creature who craves the blood
of innocent people, you've got them in your hand
with one swift blow you could **** ten men
legend has it they were never the same again
so ease up on me when decide to strike
i don't have the reserves to put up much of a fight

These things that make you say
Lets go
The same things that make you go
Whoa, whoa
Sinful little pretty girl
Your skin is just Heaven
Think I can take you for a whirl
As long as you promise to keep beggin'

In the night, as the rain hits the roof
You're waiting for me in shadows
All the lights turned down too low
Never knew this is where we would go
There's not an ounce of apology
In your soft, seductive, *** tone
You used to feel ashamed about this
But not anymore because we're alone

Nothing can stop the flow of blood now
Dripping from limbs and into the floor
You're pretty crazy, I won't lie
But when were through it I'm always wanting more
It's all because you are an animal
A being outside of what most people know
When I'm with you I refuse to let go
You're dark power lies within your sheets

"She floats!"

Her father yelped
His eyes fixed on the water
He thought the girl could be helped
But after so many tries, he decided to put an end to the bother

She floats, yes, indeed she did
Her eyes wide and smiling
She knew her father had finally lost his lid
As the bodies of townsfolk kept piling and piling

She flitted her eyes to the dock
Where her father raised his eyebrows
He had tried everything, but now the locks refused to lock
The chains went to ash and he was done with the whats, whys and hows

She kept smiling at her daddy
In that reassuring way
In her mind, she too had had it
She'd had enough of play

"I don't know what to do with you anymore!"*
And she nodded in agreement
As he screamed from the shore
The policemen he had sent
To show her God's path
Had been lit on fire
With a fury that he thought even God not hath
And now, here she was, tied with rope and wire
Floating in the middle of the ocean
Smiling and smiling, knowing her father was a liar

She has short black hair
And ocean green eyes
She stands just a little bit shorter than I
And alway bends her legs at the knee
When we dance to Sinatra

Her face is clean and clear
Like a glass of water fetched straight from the spring
Her ears are small and elegant
Like a pinky finger that's allowed to stick out
While the rest of the fingers hold a cup of tea

Her eyes
With that beautiful, almost unnatural coloring
Are also big
Bright
And when they open
They don't just let her see
But they let everyone in the room
Know that there is indeed a light

And such a thing as a gift that keeps on giving

shes a ******* heathen
shes a ******* *** demon
she ***** everyone
she ***** for fun

she ***** when shes sad
she ***** when shes mad
and im okay with that
as long as she stops smoking crack

she hits my phone
i grow a quick bone
but then i think again and i ******* instead
because all those std's are buried deep in her bed

The moon hung
Snug in the sky
All knowing and saying
Always knows just what's on my mind
I swear she's telepathic
Because at any given time
She knows just what word will rhyme

You don't know it
When she wants to have a talk
But just take a short step outside
And take the moon for a walk
She never disappoints

She likes to tell me she loves me
We've known each other for a long time now
She comforts by throbbing head
Better than I would ever allow
But I trust her with my whole life
Sitting there, looking down
She tells me there's no reason to frown

She answers all of my questions
Never leaving a single one astray
She knows I am eternally grateful
Under her and her stars, I lay
Never met anyone who I trusted more
She knows the heart remembers the hurt
That my head always seems to forget
But she's got my back
In my black sky
She fills in what I lack

She traces water
Through the river
Into the
Cold, hard ground
Where secrets lie in wait
Her past is
An enigma
And I
Don't know what
To do with her
Anymore

She speaks words of
Wisdom and curiosity
Her ears flinch when
Things unsaid surface
She grows uncomfortable
At the thought of it
She can't handle
What I think of her

When I have time
To sit back and think
Lemons and limes
Inside hard earned beers
My mind never stops
Coming to these conclusions
Back and forth
With the wind through green trees
She walks through valleys
Untouched by cruel weather
Comes out unscathed
Though completely unclothed
I am always in awe
At her pure endurance
Spanning time with nothing
But the smile of Joan of Ark

morphing slowly into something worse
she told me, when i die, she wants to drive the hearse
my brains all jumbled and filled with nonsense
i move my tongue to speak but i'm makin' no sense
things never seemed bleaker and i like it that way
trudging through my life with my minimum pay

my car is broken down, ain't nothin' i can do
she drives me 'round town as my face turns blue
chokin' on the oxygen ****** through a cigarette filter
she tries her best to be the best, supreme guilt-er
payin' no mind with my head out the window
always emphasizing that she ain't no *****

My brain
My heart
My lungs
My stomach

All are strained when I think of it

My teeth chatter
And my hands shake
My whole being clammers
When it proves to be fake

I look around to see if anyone is watching
People's eyes turn
I get up and then I start walking
People never learn

I am what you feel
I see what you hear
I am turning the wheel
I see you holding that beer
And it looks so cold
To me, you are unbreakable
And as we grow old
Things seem to slide off our shoulders

The way I see it
We are not where we want to be
The way we feel it
Cursed to live in decaying bodies
Full of bones and blood
Where cancer might one day live
But we're making the best of it
Building our empires out of **** and ****

i have nothing to do
with your issues with your father.
i'm just trying to melt glue
but it's hard when it just leaks further.
if you can find it in you
to let it all go.
i can be with you
and everyone'll know
that we came to stop the show.

I got a secret that'll make you sick
I know something that'll make you think
I'm always there when the air gets thick
I'll be there to fade your red to pink

I know you know
That I know what you know
As confusing as that sounds
Nothing matters when you've hit the ground
But getting up running is what I've learned to do
If I learned it from anyone, it's got to be you
What does it hurt to make someone's day?
Oh, what bad is there in doing the right thing?

Just let me know when you need what you do
Cuz I'll be right there no matter what I'm going through
I'll try to turn the light back on, try to flip the switch
Try to pull you up and outta that ditch
The only thing I ask for in return
Is for a place in your heart, down the roads I turn
Making my way, doing my thing
As you bleed all over my heart-string

The way you craft your phrases
Gets my propeller spinning
How you settle your disputes
Leaves no room for an underdog winning
So I just keep my mouth shut and wait for it to end
Silence is the spike in your ear
But it doesn't get the ball across
My black tongue is the only thing to fear

Playing with vengeful knives
Clone me another of the Stepford wives
Here is where you're at
Never turn your head back
You like sixes and sevens but you've never heard of fives

Come back and look forward in anger
Drive yourself sane, graceful like Jesus in a manger
Cover your footprints in the snow
Deny the sunlight because you never know
The next one could be the game changer

One-two, two-three-one
Stop acting like you're never having fun
Your charade is blown wide open
Like the suicide bomber with the missing pin
Wipe yourself up and clean every last ****** crumb

This is a story
About the daughters of a particular man
Built from lack of affection and perpetual hate
Down, the ground up  he wasn't one many could stand

He was allowed six daughters though
By a wife who had more sense than he
One was given the throw
And the others had to stay with him and cope to be

He swung, flung and carried on
The girls struck with staying close
His only wish was to have a son
But nature never agreed, he was only offered a pink hose

And so he took out his frustrations
His aggravations
Punched, kicked and scolded his way through years
The children forced to stitch and oil the rusty gears

Soon, soon
The man became sick
The wife stuck, glued to his side
The daughters out in the world, the confusion thick

As he died, with an attempt at atonement
A hopeless cry for mercy to his loves
Suddenly present at his previously cancelled appointment
And the girls, his doves
Stayed close and kissed and hugged
Their brains washed and permanently infected with the evil bug

Skeletons walk the streets
By night
Gripping lit candles found
In a fire fight
Holes in ripped rags hang
From their bones
As they tread (clip, clip, clip, clop)
On wet streets shining in the grey moonlight

I love sleep
Don't get me wrong
Sleep feeds me
Without it I'm pretty much useless
Batteries always need to be charged eventually, right?

Sometimes I'll snuggle up and close my eyes
See the wonderous things that reside nightly
Behind my eyelids as my brain plays
The projector, eyelids play the screen
And I'll awaken feeling like I've just returned
From a land of fortune and prosperity
Like Columbus after he returns to Italy


But from time to time
It gets really, incredibly difficult
To willingly fall victim to the beautiful Sandman
And I'm left squirming uncomfortably
In the center of wrinkled sheets and blankets

Spinning endlessly between reality and dreams
My mind running a marathon through rough
Terrain and hopping hurdles that keep
Growing taller and wider and more menacing
I'm flashing beacons desperately trying to
Get the attention of the ambassador of slumber

And sometimes  I'll "wake up"
As the Sun peaks it's God-like face
Over the unassuming horizon
Rays of warm light taking refuge where
The moonlight once settled and called its home
And I'm left there, head in hand, eyes nearly
****** and feeling like I've never slept a second
In my life

On the winding road
Where thoughts become words and things
I slip so often

Those truly "happy" people?
Are
Actually
Sicker
Than
Depression
Itself

your hair is a filter
through which your cigarette smoke flows.
your world is off-kilter,
and where you get off, no one knows.
energy moves through you
and you act like it isn't true.
but with just one touch
you heal all my blacks and blues.