hang me from the highest cross
next to the oak adorned in green moss
let me feel the knife as you push it into me
I won't flinch once as I cease to be
with a smile on my smug face
confident as I slowly leave this place

so give me everything you've got
my skin turns cold while the sun beats hot
one thing you can never ****
is the ghost of my heart even as I lie still

sounding like some lonely teenage poetry
spewing from my head, so ordinarily
typical people with the same ideas
laughing as they clink glasses, cheers
all the while I look on, my smile never fades
wondering what comes next as the music plays

ive dodged bullets bigger than my head
fired by guns in the hands of the lost & lonely
by all rights i should surely be splattered, dead
the gray matter lodging in my skull is my one & only
my neuro-circuits are a circus blaring classic jazz
emanating from my ears and causing a regular razzmatazz

my heart, i know it beats only for a limited time
like an infomercial, superficial in the way it teases me
but my head, it knows the differences between reason & rhyme
money equals madness and the line between land & sea
at the same time, i feel it disintegrating as it sits worriless
and I ask myself, "could you really care less?"

but when the day comes when my heart & head agree
i know it will be near the end and i'm okay with that
no longer will i scurry like a hungry squirrel, endlessly
i will not walk around with the curiosity of a newborn cat
looking for my head, examining this hypothetical ****** mystery
for it won't be dead like my heart will claim it to be

i saw her standing there, laughing and smiling
i looked down and filled my lungs with clean air
it was funny how in her smile i could see her crying
i looked up again and tried my best not to stare
she looked my way and ran her fingers through her hair

her pretty clothes looked a little old but i could see
that she didn't care because if she did she would cease to be
as i came closer then i could feel a sense of urgency
from within me i tried to quench the flames of unbridled glee
she smiled wider then, white teeth glimmered back at me
"what's your name?" i said, standing like a willow tree

as i heard her words for the first time, already hoping it wasn't the last
the vibrations from her throat caressed my eardrums violently
a little shaken and surprised i could feel the mistakes of my past
as they rose up and greeted me rather harmoniously
i realized i knew that they now meant nothing to me

with all the stars in the sky
burning bright light, never ask "why?"
they exist just as you do and made of everything you are
but you wish, you wish that you could be that bright burning star
hanging, glinting effortlessly in black space without a care
with all the time in the world yet not a moment to spare

you sit in the grass while the sun hides for the night
and the moon, she asks that you take in her sight
the raging fire of the sun and the gentle cool of the moon take turns
and only if you ask of them you will know you have much to learn
so keep sitting in the grass while you level yourself with the frequency
and in the end and with their care you will no longer live in urgency

all i wanted was to save you but i could never do that
one thing ive learned in my 24 years is only you can do that
if you ever decide to flip the switch ill be right there
ive waiting all this time but i don't mean to scare you
its just i believe in people and the power of their will
until the time is right ill be here in the middle of the night sitting still
making sure my influence or lack thereof serves you right
i don't mean to get too heavy all ive wanted to be was light
streaming through your ***** windows fighting the dark
let me be the strange rock you find walking through the park
sturdy and strong and representative of everything youre not
let me be the cool wind blowing when the sun is just too hot
when you finally realize that your bones are all that youve got
you can find me waiting for you in that ancient parking lot

ive been inspired to be uninspired
and all the things happening right now
seem like some sick and elaborate plan
i will take myself out of this and live forever
its time i take responsibility for all of this cruelty
everything ive ever inflicted upon you and them
was unintentional even when i meant to do it
i am out of my mind and ill be the first to admit it
but that doesn't make up for the ramblings of a dull man
and when i was just a boy i didn't realize the repercussions
all that i saw i took in with open arms and soaked it up like a sponge
now they live deep inside me crying out to be exorcised
but even exercise cant take me away from where im at right now
every breath burns my lungs like all of these cigarettes
i inhale with a vigor like nothing else ive ever done in my life
fixated on the thought of you under the streetlight that night
so pretty and pure and you ran away because i liked to fight
its all my fault and the guilt i feel cant purge me of that
so now i just sit here and wonder what you think of me
always thinking of myself and disregarding the rest
that's the curse that's been brought down like a sledgehammer
onto my deformed and ***-backwards ******* smile
for no reason am i entitled to feel like i was owed something
i just wanted to see you but there i go with the me-me-me's again
so this is for you, wherever you are i don't even know
nor do i even care that much because you'll always live within me
i just hope you find someone to bring you everything you seek
i was weak before and you were too strong to be with something this meek

down and out
on the fringe
clinging to life
fingers like powder
just looking up
but tripping back
shoelaces too tight
they untie themselves
scrambling too quickly
I glimpse darkness
an unknown hole
demands its dinner
I keep tripping
legs like rubber
and its over
I let go