We started together Lord when I met you that day
We were walking along, but I was going my way
I wandered off onto the bright broad way
To the things of pleasure, the moment, the day.
As time went on, as I traveled my road
I failed to notice, the darkness, the load.
Your voice became faint as I lived my life.
It was hard to hear you over turmoil and strife.
My heart became heavy with sadness and pain
The joy was gone there was nothing to gain.
You were not as near as you used to be.
Somebody moved Lord, it was not me.

When I turned around you were way back there.
You were walking the path to the cross you did bare.
You beckoned to me and called out my name
I felt Your love and I felt such shame.
Then I realized my loss and how I got there
I failed to listen, to pray, to share.
I realized Oh Lord as I ran to your side
I had drifted away in my own self pride.
I’d followed life’s pleasures down the bright broad way
To a life of destruction, of sin I would pay.
As I neared Your side, with tears down my face
I felt Your presence, Your love, Your grace.

You gently said to me,

"Take my hand child and follow my lead
Give me your burdens in thought and deed.
Do you see the foot prints I have made for you?
They point to the cross and what you must do.
Do you feel the nail prints where I bled on the Tree?
My hands, my feet were pierced for thee.
The price has been paid and left at the Cross
My blood was shed so you would not be lost.
With a Cross and a Crown I climbed this hill
To give my life to do His will.
Follow me Dear one on this path that you see.
It is the path that brings life as you travel with me.

The journey was hard as I was doing His will.
For He sent me here on a mission to fill
The road we’ll travel can be narrow at times
But it’s worth the journey, the hills to climb.
Follow me Dear one, give me you life
I will give you Peace during times of strife.
We are on our way where there is no time.
To touch the face of God so sublime.
We are on our way to the bright golden shore
Where no pain, no tears will be ever more."

We started together Lord, again, today
We are walking along, and I’m going Your way.

The chirds are burping,
the blowers are flooming.
The droys are beaming
Of firls so gine.

The dees are boing
what dees bo best.
So loys bet's do
what dees bo best.

Hind the foney.

The other day my granddaughter seven was eating and talking at the same time. She started choking rather fiercely on something that went the wrong way. Her face was rather contorted and when it was finally over  she looked up at me and said "I thought you were going to have to do the hind leg remover on me." And so it goes in the life of grandchildren.
-----------
My grandson 11 came home from school the other day. He was talking about a girl who says she's an atheist. He talks to her, is friends with her and he brought a little New Testament from  Home and slipped it into her backpack. She must've guessed where it came from. And he said to her "you can keep it or you can give it back to me" and that was the end of the story.
-----------
My grandson 11 came out of school today and was so excited. He said two of his teachers pulled him out of class and said "we have both signed papers for you to be in honors when you go into the seventh grade next year".  So he is rather excited. And so is grandma and grandpa.
-------------
I was saying something the other day and my seven-year-old Lucy said "that is a pun isn't it ?" Ah. Yes it is.

Short time later I said something else and she said "that is sarcastic isn't it?" Well what can I say? Yes.  Yes it is. She is one smart little second-grader.
---------------
11-29-16
Last year when my granddaughter Lucy was in first grade I ask her if she ever saw a teacher or someone just standing around leaning against the wall doing nothing. Of course she said yes.  So I said to her the next time you see one leaning against the wall ask them "are you procrastinating"? She asked me what does procrastinating mean?  I said it's putting things off till later maybe tomorrow. And she said oh OK. Couple days later she came home and told me that she ask Mrs. so-and-so the question. "Are you procrastinating? "I ask what did the teacher say? Lucy then said "well she looks down at me rather real funny like and said Huh?"

I was telling the story a few weeks ago to the librarian at the school. And she was cracking up. Then the librarian told me that she said to her husband a number of times "are you through procrastinating yet?" The funny thing was her husband didn't know the meaning of the word and thought it was a swearword of some variety.
You just never know. He knows now.
-------------------------

12-08-2016
So My granddaughter Lucy, seven, is watching videos of taekwondo.  She practiced on me, her grandfather and was rather successful on some of the moves. This goes on for a while and then she asks if I would get her a dummy... for Christmas... one without arms... to practice on. "Please grandpa." I said I would think about it.

Now her brother 11 is on the sofa. Earbuds installed.  She looks over at him and said after a pause or two "Or.... I could practice on Tony".
The kid is always thinking. And Tony has arms.

Goats and grapes on a ten acre farm.
They both get squeezed with little harm.

One lets out milk, the other a small whine.
The milk for the “kids”, the wine is MINE.

So there you have Heather's life today.
Poetry, goats and grapes, what can I say?

Children....   is a given.

I can not find Sye
Does anybody know why?
She has been on my mind
Where can I find...
         Sye.

Come home........

Grandma was wrapping gifts
Lucy, four, was "helping".
One of those times when
help slows you down.

Me, I am sacked out on the sofa
Waiting for sanity to return
and relieve me of a bad cold.

Grandma went to the kitchen
Lucy stayed wrapping.
In a few, she comes over to my hole
where I am residing and says,
"Grandpa, I brought you a present."

I looked up and there she stands.
Wrapping paper taped around her arm.
She said, "Go ahead and open it Grandpa."
"Open it?  Your arm?" being a little slow.
"Yes Grandpa open your present."

She stands there with this
expectant expression beaming.
A moment later the fog cleared
Grandpa open the wrapped arm
and with great "surprise" exclaimed!
"This is the best Christmas present ever."
"I love it!"  I kissed her arm and Lucy's face
as a smile spread across her face.
"This is the best Christmas present
ever Lucy.  Thank you!"

And she was off to the next adventure.
Never know what she will come up with.
Every day is an adventure.

For a week all I heard was...
   “You coming to the Big Game?”
Every where we went
to total strangers... it was the same.

Saturday arrived
  (oh sleep, where art thou)
in all it glory.
Eight in the morning
  (oh breakfast... later)
that's another story.    (yawn!)

Calling traveling, double dribble
was off the menu today.
Staying on the same court, now
that was a challenge we say.

Ref Jerry blew the whistle
Stopped... to tie some shoes.
Can't have a star
fall on the court and lose.

Tony got the ball, dribbled a yard.
Stopped.  Eyed the net.
Upward! Upward! Upward!
Almost had it...  I lost my bet.

The excitement rose high
in the stands this day.
For the efforts  freely given
the Kindergarten way.

Coach Clay with his gentle spirit
quietly lead his team
Passing, dribbling, shooting,
Oh the faces did beam.

Excitement ran high
on and off court this day.
Shoot it! Shoot it!
Upward! Upward! They play.

Ref Jerry, promoted again this year
to the Mighty Kinder Teams.
Raises the growing Kinder Spirits
to achieve even higher dreams.

The Kinders play their very best
So unaware, they don't even know it.
Week after week, excelling, growing
in the Upward Game they show it.

A slam dunk thrill is even possible
with a lively, uplifting Ref Jerry assist
Lifted high to the rim of the lofty basket
It was hard to have missed.

When the hoops were allusive
high fives did still abound
For the valiant effort of each play
Mighty applause did resound.

As in the Big Kinder Game
The Ref of the Universe is there
To lift us up when short of the goal
To help us, our burdens to bear.

He picks us up in times of need
holds us high for the goal to reach.
He keeps us safe with rules of life
Covers our Sins with a lesson to teach.

Upward! Upward! Upward still!
The goal is in sight as Upward we go.
In His love. In His hands.
It is all we need to know.

Now go and play the Kinder way
Do your best with all the rest.
Keep your eyes on the ball...
There may be a TEST.

Written by my daughter in Honors English Class

By Kristen Stevens

As I stared, transfixed by the TV box, a smaller drawer caught my eye. I leaned nearer to read the title, but could find none. I stared in wonder, pondering if this box was really mine. Inside were hundreds of cards. My hand began to shake as I sat on the floor and began reading the cards. I was astonished at what the cards brought to mind. Had I really done that? Did I really say that? These things had happened years ago.

I must have spent days pouring over this one box. Some of these things I remembered. Others were barely saved from the brink of the chasm of forgetfulness. There was one certain card that I couldn’t recall at all. Try as I might, the memory would not come. Nowhere did I find it hidden away in the dark recesses of my mind. This bothered me a great deal.

I came to another card. This one I remember only too well. I closed my eyes and I am reliving this memory. It saddens me a little, but I would not trade it for the world. I pressed my back against the cool surface of the cabinets and just relived that day. I hear the sounds and the voices. I smell the breeze and taste the sharp aroma of the long forgotten time.

I have been in the room for weeks and still no end to the box. I have forgotten what the title was. The first card I couldn’t remember still fascinates me, even though it was followed by many more I couldn’t place. I flip back through the ever lengthening file. I take the card out and close the drawer. I carefully examined the front. A corner is barely visible under the dust. The title on the box is “Other People’s Impression of Me”. Now, I understand why many of the cards I came across, I couldn’t recall. Some of the cards were thoughts of people I have passed on the street. Others were of people I have just smiled at when it looked like they were having a rough day. Some are from children I have helped or people in cars to which I have waved. All of these people were affected by me and their impression of me has been recorded. They were secreted out of their minds and into my vast file.

All at once, I am back in my bed, wondering if it was all a dream. No, I still clutch that first card in my hand. From now on, I will be cautious of what I say and do to people. Call it a “wake-up call”, if you wish.

The Boy called Tony by his grandpa and others, lights up his corner of the world. Be it kids or very old Big Kids,(adults who are kids at heart) wherever he goes, “Hi. My name is Tony. What is your name?” Usually following this introduction, if the response is received warmly is, “How old are you?”  Than after that is decided, “My grandpa is really old.”

Kindergarten year saw the two of them at the Arctic Circle most days after school. The older “Big Kids”would see him come into Arctic Circle and wait for their turn to talk to the Boy called Tony.

Many times they stopped at Tony’s and Gpa’s table and talked before leaving. New people who had not talked to him before but “listened in” on Tony and Friends conversation, they would then stop at the table to say what a “delightful little boy he is”.

At the time of this writing, sitting in Arctic Circle, he is regaling a mother about the fine points of Pac Man and Frogger on Gpa’s phone. Let’s see, Gpa had that phone for years and did not know Pac Man and Frogger were on it. And so it goes…

And so it went… everywhere he went Tony learned People’s names and remembered them. Later, where ever he happened to see them, “I know you! You work at… or I saw you at…” and the conversation would go off in a multitude of directions… eventually.

One Saturday morning in January after the “BIG GAME!” (see note) Tony, his Aunt Kristen and Gpa were entering IHOP for breakfast. He bounced through the door still wearing his basket ball uniform as an older couple was exiting. Gpa was holding the door for the older “big kids” when the woman got all excited and said to Gpa, “Isn’t that the Arctic Circle Boy?” At which Gpa replied with certainty, “Yes it is.”

Graduating from kindergarten, if such a thing is possible,the class sang a song “Don’t Talk to Strangers”. Gpa thought at the time it was a scary little piece. But what does he know. Later in the afternoon a couple came walking toward Tony. Tony observed them approaching, he studied them intently, and then just as they were going by him, he called out, “HELLO STRANGERS!” Gpa thinks they are the only strangers he really knows.

——————(c)09-12-2011————————-

The boy left home to become a Marine.
He trained with the best you’ve ever seen.
There were times early on he longed for home
But with the family of Marines he was not alone.

The boy, who left home became a man.
To protect the freedom of this great land.
He put his heart and soul to become the best.
To become a Marine, He was put to the test.

He went to Iraq to free the ‘people of tears’.
From the oppression suffered thirty some years.
He served with bravery in face of fire.
With fear in his heart, but with freedom’s desire.

The Marine, the man, comes home again.
To his family and friends who prayed for him.
He left a boy, just months ago.
He returned a man, a Marine, with freedom in tow.

The Canvas
(c)08-25-2012

A canvas sets on the edge of greatness and beauty, blank, waiting for the touch of the master’s hand. She takes charge of what is to be. Gentle strokes, broad strokes, strokes that caress the canvas… leaving the marks of imagination, transforming nothing into beauty. The image emerges revealing the thoughts and desires and power of the canvas. It is breath-taking to the beholder. She understands the difference between OK and great. Nothing will do but great. It must emulate the original. It must be the original! So it is with our canvas of life.

We start life as a blank canvas. Brush strokes are made by those around us as we begin to grow. Made by mom, dad, friend and strangers alike. All try to add their image to our canvas. An image of who they think we are. As we grow into the artist we strive to be, we accept or reject the strokes of others and create a portrait we strive to become.

Some strokes by others can leave an off color, covering who we really strive to be. A brush stroke that is not us can be covered by our touch, our color, our imagination of who we are, adding integrity to the texture and hue. Revealing an inner beauty as the artist of our life takes control, guiding our hand, adding the touches that transform the canvas from OK to great.

The Artist chooses the colors, the brushes from which she wants to define her life. The decisions are hers to make as she selects the shades of color, or even black and white, that will define her life. She paints a portrait of peace and joy, of self-less love for family and friends.. All else is unimportant. The things of past are covered. Today and tomorrow are forming a painting that will be great.

Letting the Master’s Hand guide our hand, we find freedom flowing freely onto and into our canvas. In doing His will in our life, we are set free. A freedom indescribable at times as we are lost to the distractions of the past. Caught up in the hope and love of today.

The Master guides our hand, willingly or even unwillingly at times in our artistic endeavor. As we learn to relax and give Him control of our hands, He reveals the beauty that is within us. It is great.

I have heard being an artist and painting described as being easy but living life as being difficult and unsure. Life can be described as a series of brush strokes, choices. Some can destroy the beauty intended for our canvas. Some strokes can create breath-taking beauty which radiates outward, inspiring the ones observing our portrait.

This was inspired by a young friend of mine, she left a few brush strokes on my life. They will not be painted over. They will be treasured, remembered for a long time to come.

When I look into a mirror, I want to see Jesus, the Creator of my portrait.

The years have flown by, it seems like
yesterday we met, quite by chance.
Me, a backward country boy,
You, a beautiful girl in a red coat...
And a walk that made my heart skip.
Little did I realize that moment
would last forty five years.

As we grow old together
As we we stand at each others side
in happiness and sorrow,
in sickness and health,
May we always remember what
brought us together.

“John?” “yes.”, says I
“You are supposed to take Pennye,
in the red coat over there, to the party.”
Being backward and stupid in the ways of
“setups”, I said,  “OK.” and
walked over to you and said,
“You are supposed to go with me to the party.”
“Ah, OK.” you said, looking a little shocked.

I fell in love with the “girl in the red coat” that night.
A love that has not wavered,
Has withstood the test of Time
A love built on God's love.

Here we are, raising two grand-kids
who puts a smile on my face and
sometimes a frown..
You remind me, “He's only five.”
“Yes, but, but, I think he is fifteen.”

Then,
I must remember how much God loves me and
try to do the same for those close to me and
not so close to me, who irritate me at times..

Your love for me is amazing, Babe.
I would be a most miserable, old man
without your love.
It shall forever be mine and
My love shall forever be yours.
Oh, and that little blue dress with the white strip
at hip level?  Sigh. They don't make those any more.

The Little Bird came a hopping up
And flew into his arms.
She cooed and chirped and occasionally burped
As she snuggled from all harms.

Her eyes so blue and so inquisitive
She searched his face for a smile.
Then saw what she  was waiting for...
Spread across a country mile.

Her feathers so fine and very blond
Flew around when she did move.
As the music began to play and sway
Her body began to groove.

Her love of music, things so fine
Came naturally to her.
When Papa  played his old guitar
It caused her feet to stir.

She laid her head upon his chest
And let out a great big sigh.
All was well in little bird land
That, you could not deny.

Her eyes fluttered closed, her feathers a muss
The face of an angel shone.
Asleep in the arms of her grandpa
Little Bird and him, alone.

Good night Little Lucy Bird.  Sleep tight Princess.

The diaper fell to the floor
assisted by a tiny hand.
A grin spread from ear to ear
“I am free and here I stand.”

Freedom is short lived it seemed
On it goes, “I must have dreamed.”

“I try so hard to be cool.”
“They said something about a stool.”

Sixteen months and training for,
The  Riviera... “I'm out the door!”

The lizard approached
the beautiful tree..
made his play
you might say.
Started to climb
with such glee
intentioned to stay
all the day.
He then went limp
down he fell.
What had happened
no one could tell.
He was checked out
when he lost his function.
Found to have
a dreaded problem..
    ... called...
Reptile Dysfunction.
------------------------------------
The Lizard might have
stopped to See Alice
before the charge or his friend
Viguana.

(C) 03-2014. John stevens

As you travel into life's sunset before me,
walk slowly My Love.  
Wait up My Love.
I am not far behind.
Following in the foot steps
you revealed to me
as you My Love
walked in the path to a new day.
Watch for me. For I am coming.
It won't be long now til
we are hand in hand again.

He was a young lad and in the fourth grade
Struggling hard for the grades he made.
Everything he tried seemed to vanish in the air
For he could not read and there was no one to care.

The teacher made fun of the young boy’s plight
No compassion, understanding, was ever in sight.
The days were filled with doubt and fear
He was told to repeat grade four next year.

Starting the fourth the second time around
A new school, a new teacher, made his heart pound.
For the world to see, on the card it came
The very first day he had to spell his name.

J - E - E - R - Y came out of the pen
The letters did appear to be correct just then.
The teacher bent close and whispered in his ear
“One E and two R’s, I think you meant dear.”

He fell in love with the teacher that day
She knew his heart and just what to say.
She knew the pain that the young boy felt
And all the embarrassment the past year dealt.

Miss Hagness, the angel, had come to his aid
He sensed her love and was no longer afraid.
Like the gentle Shepherd, reaching down from above
She taught him to read by her affection and love.

He went on to college to prepare for a life
Giving to help others with trouble and strife.
Pastor Jerry’s the Shepherd of many a heart
With love and compassion from the fourth grade did start.



===============================================
Teacher­ Part II
The story told in verse is about my pastor. It is about the struggles of a lad who was ridiculed in school because of a reading disorder called dyslexia. It is about how the system would have let him sink into oblivion but for the personal interest of a young teacher who came into his life the second time he went through the fourth grade. A teacher who had compassion in her heart for the boy and helped him discover the talents that lay hidden deeply within him. The talents that allowed God to develop within him, developed a compassion for others and a giving of himself first as a youth pastor for many years and then for the first time as a senior pastor.

It is also a story of how indifference toward others can lead to destruction of a young mind to the point of total loss of self worth. It is about the deep wounds that can be inflected by the harsh words we speak. Such words can never be retrieved from the abyss of time. How many times do we fail to see or ignore what we see because it does not conveniently fit into our schedule and in the process, contribute in the destruction of a life?

If we are teachers, mentors, leaders, or just breathing, we can share the pain of others to ease their burdens and encourage them in the difficult times. As we share the pain of others, we gain the right to share the joy in their triumphs and successes.

The story came from a message delivered on Sunday morning May 1, 1999. The poem wrote itself from the words spoken in that message. Can we do anything less than what the young teacher did for the boy? As God leads us, let us listen to the still small voice. The voice may be the voice of a child pleading for help, the voice of our Father directing each of us in the path we must travel. Be ever aware of the opportunities that God lays in our path. Maybe just doing only what is required and not seeing beyond ourselves we miss seeing the potential of a young mind. Could this be the greatest disservice we could do to our Father?

Oh God, give me the wisdom to see the promise and potential in others and be led by Your hand in molding the young mind.

It is written, “Though you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me.”

They said I was hen pecked
How could that be?
Just because...
Every time she said jump
I jumped, what the heck.

So...
The next time she commanded
I said, "NO WAY!."
I didn't  see her for  three days.

On the third day
I saw her just a bit...
Briefly...
Out of my right eye.

Hope arrived... limping severely.
The journey had been quite long,
Searching for Something to hold on to.
Hope was weak but would not give up,
There is always hope, no matter how small.
For: ”Hope springs eternal”.

Faith was greatly weakened and vulnerable,
Wounded by the words of discouragement.
Naysayers of the day were chipping away.
Faith needed help to overcome Doubt.
Lurking close by... and closing in....
Keep the Faith Baby!

Love felt lonely and threatened.
In need of some friends to lean on.
The days were long and dreary with
Hate knocking at everyone's door.
Love glimpsed Faith approaching and knew
Hope was not far behind.

Hope, Faith, Love;
Together, they formed a bond and
Began flourishing once again!
Together, they opened the door
of the heart in need of repair.
Together, they rescued a heart,
Filling it to overflowing.

Love began to grow and  blossom,
Bringing Light to the darkened heart.
Hope, walking tall and standing straight,
Began to breath  deep again.
Faith leaped forward with renewed vigor
to guard the Heart's door
The Three Musketeers... together...
Unstoppable...  Conquer the world.

09-15-2012
Saturday morning and Grandpa rounded up the grand kids, Tony and Lucy, for a little excursion. Excitement was running high for we were going to the City Park and… there was to be hot dogs, burgers and drinks and STUFF, which they thoroughly enjoyed. Before we left on our fun-outing, I had printed out a copy of a poem I had written for Tony when he was a year old called "Ice Cream". He is now a big seven. There were many booths setup which we visited… gathering STUFF (pencils, etc).

We stopped at a booth that was for grandparents raising grandkids. While we talked with the lady at the booth I remembered the poem in my back pocket. I gave it to her to read and we continued on down the line gathering STUFF (pencils, candy and BUBBLES). On the return trip we stopped again at the grandparents booth. The lady commented, the poem brought tears to her eyes. Then she said, “this was written from the heart”. At that time Tony interjected with, “No. Grandpa just sits down and write them on the computer keyboard.” Yup! That is how it REALLY happens. There were chuckles and smiles all around. Tony is grandpa’s most ardent promoter for his web sight . He tells people the domain-name to find writings. There is one piece he particularly enjoys telling people to check out called "The Boy Called Tony" . Go figure!

I had a councilor in high school that told me I was NOT college material. Rather shocked me. I graduated third in the class. So I set out to prove her wrong. Ended up with a BS degree in physics. There were times I thought about quitting when things got tough but her words kept me going. I was going to prove her wrong. Now I’m an old man sub teaching mostly high school the last three years and love it. Kids tell me their problems and together we find a solution. They know they can trust me. That is the way my life with others went all through my career. People would knock on my office door and ask to talk. Sure. They would close the door and unload their concerns. Most of the time they went away feeling much better. My last boss was one of them. God works in mysterious ways.

(Just Passing Through)
09-08-2005 J.L. Stevens

This jail is not my home,
I ‘m just a passing through.
Since Jesus touched my life,
Lord, What more can I do.
Your love has rescued me,
Gives me peace in my life.
Lord, help me to walk the path,
Free of trouble and strife.
——————————————-
When freedom beckons me
As I walk out through the door.
Lord, guide me on my journey,
I’ll trust you evermore.
May I choose to do Your will,
When temptation comes my way.
Lord, I know You are with me,
As I walk with You this day.
—— (chorus)—————-
When Jesus called my name,
My life was changed that day.
I walk and talk with Him,
I chose to follow and obey.
I am trusting in the Lord,
To open wide the door.
For I don’t feel at home,
In this jail any more.

Author:  Kristen Stevens
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Current mood:rather put out

So I've been on vacation...wait that should be capitalized it was of great importance. Allow me to begin again.*So I've been on VACATION. Which was great, by the way, thanks for asking. I returned to work with admittedly less enthusiasm than I should have had. However the news that awaited me put the smile back on my face.

Someone that I did not really get along with quit. (Oh fabulous day!) That is the thrilling part the dismayed part is upcoming. A coworker pointed out a flaw in my joy. I now need to find a new lure for the apocalypse that feels like it's coming any day now. If you have any suggestions I need a new applicant, because the people I've agreed to see to safety probably would not like a change in their status.

In the Mall
She went to sleep
On the bench
So peacefully

A smile curls up
on her lips.
A laugh at times
so gleefully.

Gpa fighting sleep
Time change setting in.
zzz… zzz… zzz…
Consciousness returns.

3:20!!!

Oh my!! Wakeup!!
Brother’s out of school
SOON!!
Muscles scream, burns!

We run (I run)
out the door
Strap in, GO!
Away we tore..

We made it.
No harm done
now we begin….
The FUN.
At AC.

Mar. 11, 2012

"She is so cute!"**
said the grand mother type
in McDonalds today.
"Yes I have heard that said.
Every where we go."

Miss Personality makes
an impression...
on the young and the old.  
Purely unintentional.
Little head strong at times.
Mostly when awake.
She will go far.

Disagreements with Nana
can be fun at times,
'"Lucy! Don't do that! No!"
Can ping pong three times.  
Then must stop.  Or else!

On hearing the verbal
exchange between
the two one day
Gpa asked Miss Lucy,
"What part of 'NO'
do you not understand?"
The reply coming from
Miss Congeniality was an
emphatic "The N."

Gpa left the room.
Laughing held to elsewhere.
Reporting to Nana.

She is cute at times.
Four now...
going on fourteen.
But still cute.

Life is but a weary road
      You hear some people say.
      You hear the moan and groan from them
      As they travel along their way.
      
      Always complain and gripe of things
      And take for granted life.
      No thanks they give to God above
      But go to Him in strife.
      
      They know not Love and Patience
      And understanding within.
      For Love and Patience passed them by
      And they're troubled deep within.
      
      'Tis Love that makes a man's life grow
      And a woman's life grow too.
      My inspiration and this Love
      Comes from only You.
      
      I've given love and in return
      God's given you to me.
      To love and cherish every hour
      And give myself to thee.
      
      The happiness of knowing you
      The knowledge of your love.
      Brings joy and peace within my heart
      And a smile from above.
       - - - - - - - - - - - -
      Written 1966 but still is true in 2003
      Love ya Babe.

      And in 2018
      And in 2019...
      And ....  forever.

We still hear
your voice on the
       phone:
compelling
comforting
compassionate

My wife and I talk
about you
        often:
sweet man
concern for you
could be our son

She read the poem
"To: Letter Four" and
        cried:
still crying - from time to time
she cares for you
so do I

She said; you are
the reason I am at
        Hello Poetry:
I am here for you
how can we help you?
I am writing again - because of you

God leads us in the
path we are to
        travel:
I listen
He nudges
I follow

Forgiveness of my self
begins with accepting
        "ME":
*as I am
not as I want to be
God takes care of - the rest

If you still have them around... write them a note. This was 26 years ago. I owe my life to her.
-------------------------
To My Mother
It is your 84th birthday today and I take this time to say, I love you. As I think back to my childhood days, it brings back good feelings of the times we had together.
I remember like it was yesterday the warmth when you held me close.  The nap times when you were beside me while I went to sleep. No greater love can a Mother show than just being there when needed.
I remember coming home from school and finding you about the house.  All was well then and I could go play. There was a ‘something’ about that, which I want my kids to know.
I remember the trust you bestowed on me when I started high school. It was an awesome responsibility to never betray that trust. The lessons learned has carried me through many a rough spot. It shaped my life so that the decisions I made would not cause you pain.
If it were not for your prayers over my 47 years, I shudder to think where I would be today. Thank you for showing me the way and living it with me.
You have molded four lives for which you can take pride. I thank you for making me the person I am today.
Thank You Mom. Happy Birthday!
( written April 1991 )

Tony and Gpa were driving down Blue Lakes when they were approaching a construction site. The work had been going on for some time but today it was really a mess. Tony said, “why do they make such a mess of the ground grandpa? It looks really bad.” Inspiration hit me. Relate this messy lot to life.

“Sometimes things have to look really bad before it can be make into something beautiful and useful. A piece of canvas can be laying around for years, *****, a mess and then someone picks it up, cleans it off to discover it will work perfectly for a painting. The spots are covered and the artist begins the first brush strokes. Soon, what was ***** and no value to anyone becomes a wonderful work of art by the masters hand. ”

“It is much like people. They can be ***** and broken, look a mess because of drug use, not living right.”

“God can pick them up, clean them off and begin painting a beautiful picture. Where once was a disaster now it beauty.”

Granted, the above is a little more but not much more, than what gpa said to Tony that day. The italic was added when gpa wrote this.

Anger, envy, strife, and unforgiveness ( your choice here) can soil the canvas of life. Words said in anger can never be taken back. All the other hurts and hangups in life can dissolve into the background when forgiveness is granted and accepted.

Forgiveness can cover many a stain and when the light reflects off our picture only the beauty of forgiveness reaches out to others. I know many forgiven people. Beautiful people.

Jan 20, 2009
Today I am starting a journal for Tony and his grandfather (me).  We replaced a right head lamp in the LHS this afternoon.  Tony held the socket wrench after I removed the assembly and replaced the bulb. He found a bolt on the left side on which the wrench fit.  When the assembly was in place, Tony got to run the wrench and tighten the bolts.  He came in and said, “I fixed your head light Nennie.” Nennie is his aunt and since she drives the car a lot, the car must be her’s.  He was so proud he could help.  He listened well and followed instruction very well. He got in the drivers seat and turned on the lights. Shifted from lower to upper beam… many times.  It worked!   Did it take longer to get the job done? Yes but the rewards will last for a very long time.

It looks like I have not done very well in keeping up this “journal”.

July 2009.
I was tired this day and my grandson (4) talked me into sitting on the swing while he played in his dirt pile. Dirt is like gold to him. After a while he said, “Grandpa. Can we go to the park today?” I told him I would think about it. A few minutes later he asked, “Have you thought about it Grandpa?” I answered, “Not yet.” His reply was, “Let me do the thinking for you Grandpa.” At this time he put his hand on his face, got a little concerned look and muttered “think,,, think.” Then he said, “I have thought about it Grandpa and we are going to the park.” I got up from the swing and went in and told his Grandma what he said. Then we went to the park.

Some time earlier in the year we went to Arctic Circle, one of our usual places to eat and play. There were a couple of ladies sitting at the table next to us and Tony recognized one of them from the play group. After a time I noticed one little girl had stripped off her top clothing. I was talking to the mother next to me when I saw this. I said to her, “Tony is going to go home and tell his Grandmother that I took him to a ******* restaurant.”

April 24 2010 there was a Boy Scout display in the parking lot North of Mickey Ds and by the Imagination Station. Tony was fascinated by many of the displays. The Sheriff’s Office was well represented with several displays. Tony got to climb up on the rescue boat, the one we see going by our house frequently in the summer to fish someone out of the river. The two Sheriff’s Office Deputies in charge of the boat were really good with the kids. About 15 minutes later Tony bent over the bow of the boat, I was on the good ole solid ground, and said to me, “These guys are really COOL grandpa.” I said, “yup, they are.” and looked over at one of guys. I ask, “Did you hear that?” With a big grin he said, “I sure did.” He had a big grin on his face for a while. Tony debarked and headed to new territory. I have to have speedy shoes on to keep up some days. I wish I could find a pair of those.

Later we were at a different car on display. The people there were young intern or trainee types wearing the Sheriff’’s Office shirt and hardware. Tony had bailed out of the armored car where he had been playing for 20 minutes and was standing next to me watching the young group yucking it up. They were loud and horsing around some… with out the horse. All of a sudden he got a scowl on his face and said in a rather loud voice, “Grandpa, those are NOT real cops. Why are they wearing uniforms? They should not do that.” Well that was hard to explain and I was hoping “they” did not hear what he said. We left rapidly.

I guess he thought they were not acting the way officers should act. At least not like the COOL guys at the boat. I suppose that comes from trying to instill respect in the uniform of peace officers. The lesson is one each of us needs to remember. If we say we are (fill in the blank) then we had better act the part or we can lead an impressionable young mind astray. So lets be COOL.

That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Discovered I forgot to post this on HP

Mar 25. 2010

Tony Boy – Chapter 2
A few weeks ago Tony was standing in the door way and said, “Grandpa?: Yes. “Grandpas need grandkids so they won’t get bored.” He is correct in that assumption since there is not a day that some surprise doesn’t pop up. I won’t be dying from boredom any time soon. I have been retired three years now and boredom is not a problem.

We were checking out at Target the other day and the checker and Tony was having a great conversation. As we were leaving, he turned around and said to the checker, “You are missing a tooth. You know that if you put it under your pillow, you can get some money for it from the tooth fairy.” The checker and the people in line were having a chuckle. Me, I laughed all the way to the car. When we got in the car he was questioning me as to why I was laughing. Oh, I just saw something funny.

Today (03/17/2010) we were in Costco foraging about 2:30. It is a great way to pass some time together. The food tables were set up and we had hit the ravioli stuff a couple of times already. The lady running it said one time she had noticed us coming in since he was in a stroller. Anyway, Tony headed back to get another sample and she was talking to a friend. As I rounded the corner Tony was talking to the friend. She was asking him how old he was. “Four.” At which she said, “You are smarter than my 15 year old.”

Tony is 5 today (3/24) A lot of people know his name. Me? Oh I am just Tony’s grandpa. A few weeks back we were in Sears to visit one of his many “friends”. Tammie was not available at the moment and we were wandering around looking at TVs. A fellow was down on his knees putting together a new display. Tony walked up to him and ask, “Do you know what you are doing?” The guy looked rather surprised and then the two got into a discussion of what tools to use. Tony told him about all the tools he has and what should be used on the job. Along came the usual question people ask Tony. “How old are you?” “I am four.” I heard the guy telling some of his fellow workers about being ask if he know what he was doing. They all had a good laugh together. We found Tammie and Tony got picked up and a BIG hug. Most of the people working in the electronics and appliance department know all about the little boy named Tony Boy. It is interesting to see their faces light up when Tony comes around the corner.

05-15-2011
Since my grandson was little, he is now 6, and we would read a book or two at bed time, I would kiss him goodnight and say, “Love you forever and always Tony Boy.  See you in the morning.”  Last night when the books were read, the evening was winding down and quietness had settled in… I kissed him and said, “love you forever and always Tony Boy.”   This time Tony for the first time said, “I love it when you say that grandpa.”  It took me back for a moment.

I have been thinking that must be the way it is with our Heavenly Father.  He tells us over and over He loves us “forever and always”.  Some day we will tell Him “I love it when you say that Father.”  It confirms the bond between us and Him.  Unbreakable bond that is forever and always.  There is no greater love.

“See you in the morning” has always had two meanings for me.  For Tony it is 8 to 9 hours later.  For me it is also the New Day, New Morning when we wake up in the presence of Jesus.   Some day Tony will understand the second meaning.  The most important meaning.  That will be a glorious morning indeed.  The bond of love is never broken.  It lasts forever.

Oct 13

A new chapter began in the Life of Tony Boy in October. His Daddy got out of prison after spending over three and a half years away. Tony was 2 months old when it all began. We kept a picture of his Daddy in the living room and talked to Tony when he ask about the picture. His Daddy and I kept in touch by letter, but that is a different story.
A couple a days after Tony’s Daddy, (TD), arrived back in Twin Falls, we met at the City Park. We were on the Court House side and TD was on the other side. We started walking toward each other and when Tony was about 100 feet away from his Daddy, he started to run. Tony ran and jumped into his arms. I never saw any thing like that before and did not imagine that would be their first meeting. I must admit that there were tears in my eyes. It was as if they had been apart for just a few days.
For the next three hours, the two of them ran, jumped, wrestled around, and just had a lot of fun. It was really great to see them going hand in hand around the park. Me… I sat in my chair and took it easy for a change. If you have read some of the other stuff about Tony you know we spent a lot of time at the park. Several times I heard Tony say, “I love you Daddy.” I found out later that TD got rather misty but he kept it inside. I guess that comes from trying to be tough for the last few years. He did get stabbed 5 times in Boise and was moved to Orofino after that. But that is another story.
It was a little awkward for TD the first few times. How do you handle a rambunctious 4 year old when you haven’t had the experience before? TD was a quick learner. He observed how I handled Tony and used the same methods.

So for a month now we get together several times a week. Sunday we went to lunch at Addison West. Tony was wired and wanted to play. A couple sitting in an adjacent booth apparently observed the goings on and had a bit of fun with Tony when they left. The lady started to leave and turned around and said, “You sure are a cute little boy.” Well I can’t argue with that.
I will add more to this as time goes by. Tony is sitting here wanting to go to the park. Soooo,,, a guess it is time to GO TO THE PARK.

I’m back. Did not make it to the park. Low blood sugar hit and I had to cope with that for a while. We did get to the grocery store later. I was thinking about second chances. In conversation with people over the years I have said, “what is done is done and there is not anything you can do to change it. It is what you do with today and the tomorrows…. that will make a difference.” I wrote a piece called “Jail (Redemption)” about the time TD was in jail. Some young folk I have talked to are rather surprised to find old dudes like me can think this way. It all boils down to this. I am just a beggar trying to show another beggar where to find the Bread of Life. I would be in deep yogurt if it were not for redemption.

As you travel this road
looking to find
Someone in need of love.
Whose broken spirit
in need of repair
By the Love given Above.

It might be someone
whose given up hope
And is found in deep despair.
With all hope gone
no place to turn
no shoes or clothes to wear.

The drug once chosen
For what ever the reason
Has taken them to the ground.
They need a hand
To help them up
Out of the hole they are found.

You see the pain
deep within
Caused by someones lust
No way to cope
to overcome
For they have lost their trust.

A kind word here
A smile there
Can help fill the hole.
When hope was lost
By careless words
And actions took their tole.

As I travel this road
Hoping to find
A soul in need of love
May directions come
To me this hour
From Love given Above.

I sit outside the rest home, this Sunday afternoon.
I watch the face of people, going in and out so soon.
The visits here, come and gone. Time swiftly passes on.
The sadness shows on each face for the one which they belong.

The mother walks with her child, quietly through the door
To see a grandpa not coming home, for many days or more.
They sit and wait so patiently for their short time to be
For twenty minutes on the phone, their “papa” they will see.

So close are they but yet so far, no touching through the pane.
Fingers spread, hearts are breaking, their future down the drain.
The question on the little lips, will papa come home now?
Soon, we hope, my dear child, maybe next week, somehow.

The children come to visit him, with thoughts of shattered dreams.
The joys they had for many years, are gone, so it seems.
They put on a smile, push back fears, to keep alive some hope.
They wonder “why, what went wrong, how will we ever cope?”

The pain inflected, bad decisions, when the virus had taken hold.
Ruined lives of those around them, the broken promise told.
His family grieves the senselessness, of life’s potential lost.
Hope now seems a fleeting dream, the family pays the cost.

A broken life, a shattered dream, seems lost in the eyes of man.
When darkness falls, and hope is gone, when all has hit the fan.
God can mend the broken life, He turns darkness into light.
Hope comes to those, who ask through grace and all of mercy’s might.

We come to Him with hopes and fears not knowing where to start.
In life and death, Peace can come, carried in our heart.
Someday, somehow,  we come as one, together we shall be,
Where over all of life and Faith and Hope we’ll  see....

           Love Triumphs.

© 12-16-2020 John Stevens

She was blind and smiling
cruising down the mall,
arm-in-arm together
so she would not fall.

No worries, no concerns
betrayed on her face.
Her life made better
through Love and Grace.

Her Trust in the other
to lead her along
to not let her stumble
as they listened to song.

I listened above
to the music of love
Sing softly to the ear
So pleasant to hear.

I thought of the song
That sings in my heart
I thought of the Master
who tunes my heart
        From above
        Each day.
        With love

This Journey called life
Racked with danger and snare.
Can be filled with Peace
New life, more life to share.

When bleary eyes are opened
and ears allowed to hear
All...  comes into focus
His Presence ever near.

When my vision fails
When my eyes are dim
My trust carries on
Always found in Him.

He takes me by the hand
with love and a song
All is well...
It is well...
As we journey along.

"I was blind
but now I see."
Still cruising...
Arm in arm with Thee.

Where are my t-shirts?
Lucy wearing them to bed
Life has changed again.

Reconciled Love
Promises Kept
Self Faded
Vows Restored
Committed Lives
Stable Home
Child Loved
Unbroken Love
Un-broken Child
Un-broken...

10:55
           The lights went out
                  in church today.
           The Sun light flooded
                  through the open doors.

           Voices raised in sweet song
                  in a natural way.
           The Son Light flooded
                  through the open doors...
                         of each heart.

11:30
           The lights came on
                  in church today.
           The Son Light reflecting
                  on each face!
                        In every heart!

           The "Sounds of Praise" rising,
                  The Son Light's shining
           An experience  reborn
                  of days of long ago.

later:
           The  memories stored
                  in each heart.
           "Remember the Sunday
                  when the lights went out?"