I wandered in a vast desert
  of misinformation
Looking for answers
Looking for help
  To resolve my hurts,
                my addiction.

I looked to the tree
              but
There was no help for me.
I looked to the rocks
               but
It smelled like homeless socks

From the smartest man
     of all the world
     came no relief from the pain,
That permeated my inner most being
     all seemed Lost,
     there was no gain.

Nothing satisfied
      nothing filled the hole,
      in my soul.
There was always doubt
      always fear.
      What did the future hold?
There was nothing to hold dear.

The Higher Powers I found
Were causing me to drown.

When hope had faded
       All seemed jaded
To a point of deep despair
God, if you are there
   touch my despair.
    Make me aware.
--

I looked to the Cross
of long ago, still stands
high on the hill,
In the minds and hearts
of the people who do
His, not their own will.

I saw what my soul
      was yearning for
I saw Love freely given
      as never before,
In the drops of loss
      at the foot of the Cross.

There, the chains I had on
that dragged  me down,
fell off. The load was gone.
I was free to soar
in new found love
as never before.

Glorious freedom
      as never before.
In His Love
      I soar.
         Forevermore.

Where function once was,
Had from the start.
Now,  a missing part.
Gone now.
Some how.

Where feeling once was,
That used to serve.
Now a broken nerve
Dead now
Some how.

He looks out the window,
out the door, down the hall,
to pass the time of day and night.
Seeing the pain reflected
from the faces of others
not knowing how to handle their plight.

Feeling their hurts and sorrows
as are his own – crushing.
He knows pain, up close and personal
It takes control, seizing the moment
                                               the day.
In the midst of suffering...
In the place of indignation...
Pens the words of sadness and sorrow.
Pens the thoughts of encouragement and love.
Giving hope and smiles to others
Trying to not let pain win - maybe tomorrow.

What more can we do
when a brother is down.
To encourage a smile
to let go of the frown.

“There is no shame in
doing the best you can
with what you have.”

“Have mercy on Letter Four.
Take away the pain, for evermore.”

As I sit outside “Motherhood Maternity” store
in the comfy chairs.  Waiting for sticky buns,
writing thoughts of what some call poetry.
The little mothers-to-be go in,
smiling and happy.
Some waddle in, others still may have
that FUN coming in the future.
They are fun to observe
all expectant like.  Anticipating
the new life growing inside -
BOY?  GIRL?  Of course some
wanting it OVER - NOW!
And I can see why.

Then, occasionally there is a parent
passing by, ragging on their child
over nothing.  Making life miserable
for all within hearing distance.  
Destroying the young spirit.
I'll bet they were not smiling like the others
going into “Motherhood”.  Maybe they
are looking forward to eighteen and
want it to happen – NOW!  Poor kid.

That “Grand Idea” of traveling
         going with the Snowbirds
                                     as in herds
Changing with the Seasons...
For what ever reasons...

Changed when seven pounds
               of squirm and delight
         was cradled in my arms-
          five years ago that night

Instant Love as from Above
Never to cease, never to release
a 24/7 little boy, Tony Boy,
             (and Lucy too)
     Filling my life with Joy.

I wondered at times
      how it would be...
Retired...
     Just my wife
         and me.

And when I weighed the cost
Thought of the loss
Someone else called “Grandpa”.
The little voices saying “Grandpa!”, “Poppa!”
Rang louder still, louder beyond all measure
than all the sites and sounds the world could offer.

No other decision was possible to make
Than to spend my life raising my “children”
Building memories, building lives.
Instilling character the only way I know...
   Loving and living,
       and when necessary -- using words.

My “children” will live their life,
        living memories,  
        giving memories,
        creating memories,
of times when they were young
Saying,      “I love you Grandpa.”
                    “I love you Poppa.”
Hearing,   “I love you too my child.”
Knowing, “See you in the morning.”
                      Refers to Heaven.

“The greatest love you can show
is to give your life for your family.”
     (It is a paraphrase but
     consider the original Author.)

Opportunities
    Lost and Found

Circumstances
    Abound

Turn me Bitter
    or make me Better.

The choice is mine
    My life define.

I choose Life
    Not Death.

I choose Giving
    Not Taking

I choose Love
    Not Hate

I choose His way
    Not mine.


The choice is Mine
The choice is Mine.

10:55
           The lights went out
                  in church today.
           The Sun light flooded
                  through the open doors.

           Voices raised in sweet song
                  in a natural way.
           The Son Light flooded
                  through the open doors...
                         of each heart.

11:30
           The lights came on
                  in church today.
           The Son Light reflecting
                  on each face!
                        In every heart!

           The "Sounds of Praise" rising,
                  The Son Light's shining
           An experience  reborn
                  of days of long ago.

later:
           The  memories stored
                  in each heart.
           "Remember the Sunday
                  when the lights went out?"