Wise words float in and out of my mind
Like water falling from the sky,
Until one day it dries up,
And the skies are clear and blue today.
Just blank.
I find it darker than those creative storm shades of grey.

I got an addiction, baby,
That sicklesweet look in my eyes, darlin',
I need that feeling, of     beaming,
raven red cast shades of delusion dreaming,
You and me in a beach house sleepin',
Ne'er to be, Ne'er to be,
Nay just this self-serving depression, easing,
back into mold back into form, a dark caricature of me,
Better to bleed, nay I love the urge, and drink the fear descending,
down self-same stairs in paradoxical downward upward patterns,
Don't shake me, don't wake me, I'll only smile discreetly,
But In my Eye the Demons will fly, and oh will they thrash and rage,
their hunger for more suffering ever unrelenting...
and still i'll Feel,
nothing.

Comforting like an old friend.
Gone but always there,
And now back,
Again.

I am
really good at
tearing away
people who love me.

On the one hand confidence
On the other humility,
And the middle path?
Success.

Hustle.
******* work.
Make yourself great.
You don't need goals.
You need to be the best you.

Remember where you came from.
Burn yourself at your lowest point in your mind.
Feel sickened. Never again.
For yourself. No one else.

Make your money. Earn your living.
Accept nothing less.
You are the best.
Get the best. And Give only what and to those,
Whom you deem worthy.

Take the punches.
Nothing will beat you up like life.
You will get knocked down.
Get up. Even if it's the next day.
Don't stay down. The most you'll ever be alive,
Is when you are closest to dying.

Rule your emotions.
Do not be ruled by them.
Therefore you shall rule others,
Who will fall prey to your will and
perseverance, while,
being consumed by their own emotional pulls.

Keep a vision in your mind.
What you are. What you want.
What you need. Who you want there with you.
Take it. Own it. Own yours.
And then tell me,
How Great You Are.

lidless eyes
and the thought that
I'll never get better
is comforting in its
own particularly dreadful way
waves of solitude
self imposed and ever increasing
can't won't fit in afraid to fit out
misunderstood and still in search of self
identity folks is more important than anything
it just ***** when your self
is... not much at all
just a phase
i hope

I almost made it,
I play scenes over and over again in my mind,
Almost kissed her,
Almost loved that girl,
Almost made that play,
Almost saved my brother,
Almost had her say what she was really thinking,
Almost sold that car,
Almost wasn't depressed for a year and a half,
I almost was happy,
I was just a few years too old,
I just didn't have a car,
I almost believed in myself,
I almost didn't give up,
I'm so young but I'm almost dead,
Life goes on just a bit too long,
I almost want a fast forward,
Yeah yeah it's nice and all, but, let's skip to the end,
Oh I almost know where I'll go,
Cuz' I can't stop looking at where I've been,
I'll just keep eating my own tail,
And I'll almost get what I want,
Almost, but not quite.

Don't be material,
They say with condescending gleams,
Oh it is the devil,
you'll find, a way to hell,
and nothing more.
Meanwhile, behind the curtains where they think themselves safe,
they beat it to child ****, with quite a similar gleam.

Oh I know what will **** me,
I won't smoke that cigarette,
But I will feel happy with success,
Oh I'll take that money and spend it,
On these amazing things capitalism and competition,
Drive the world to create.

I tell you what I don't know what joy is but,
I love my new phone,
And I've seen some real demons,
And they look a lot like you, judging,
They look hungry for righteousness,
And self satisfaction,
Well I get nothing off myself,
So I guess I'll settle for the world.
Ain't much of a poem I guess,
But at least it's something to take home.