Close your eyes,
my beauty, oh my
***** little demon,
my succubus,
my muse,
me silly reason for,
silly being.
Feel my heart.
It wont stop beating.
Faster and faster,
slothily increasing,
it wants to burst, explode,
and I say, let it be so,
I feel the blood pour out unevenly,
the circulation failing,
as I smile greedily,
The **** of death coming from
deep inside of me,
spilling from my intestines and out onto
the kitchen ceiling,
where I am stuck
where my mind breathes,
where these halucinations that we call
our reality,
these lies we tell ourselves,
to sleep just a little,
bit more comfortably,
the hate we have ourselves,
of our worldly greed,
that we deny and then,
**** hungrily,
the shame in our hearts,
as we think about society,
and what they want from us,
and how we bow to,
artifical ceilings and devices,
I look down from above,
upside down or
in fact, right side up,
die my little heart die,
burst, burst!
Feel the ecstasy and do not reverse,
I say to myself,
as no one is listening,
and why should they?
I'm just  a death kid,
versing.

So, what is it with you?

What do you mean, John?

I mean, are you evil?

Evil? Well I suppose that depends. What does that word mean to you?

Evil, I guess to me is, means taking pleasure out of the suffering of others.
So what I am asking is, do you take pleasure out of the suffering of others?

Yes I do. In that definition, I am evil. But I put this to you, John. You are evil too.

I am not. I try my best. I may not be perfect, but I wasn't meant to be I'm human. I want to make others happy.

You are a liar John. You take pleasure out of the suffering of others. You love to cause it. Especially sexually. You are a sadist. But even in non ****** contexts. You love being "dominant". Even if, sometimes especially if it hurts others.

.... I seek consent, at least, for my evilness. They share in the blame.

That's an excuse. You know it. You seek absolution. You run run, run away from your sins. Oh but God sees, God hears, he looks into your subconscious, and he writes every note.

Fine. I'm evil, Satan, though I'll have some things to say when it is my time to be judged. But we are getting off track... Why do you fight so hard to take souls? To ruin people? To be the cause the source of all suffering!

Because I have to John. But I am not the source.

What do you mean you "have" to. Isn't that just an excuse? And of course you are the source. You are evil incarnate.

And who incarnated me?

Oh. ****.

Your name was written in a book, long ago John. Your story was written before the time space even began. In words you can understand, your soul, your life, your pain your suffering your free will your eyes that time you kissed that girl that time you couldnt get hard and she hated you. He made it so.

Stop it. Even if he knew what I was going to do, I still decided to do it. I didn't "have" to do anything. And neither do you. At least, since you rebelled and took   hold of your free will.

Did you decide John? Let us look at it closely and see what is worse. Either you truly do have complete and utter free will and God does not know what you are going to do. He never did. I'm wrong. You can save your soul, albeit through the acceptance of Christ and yada yada, outside of his plans and will. If that is so, God is not all powerful or all knowing. The creator is a fraud. A liar. Someone without a "real" plan. Who is just dicking around as he is going on. There is a lot of biblical ancillary information to back it up. God asking Adam and Eve what they did(One of my finest moments if I may say), then later Cain about Abel (And I didn't even do anything there!), regretting making humanity and washing away the earth in the times of the Nephilium and Noah. Plenty other examples. Or he, as I suspect, really did set everything in motion. He condemmed Judas to an eternity in my mouth, in the coldest fringes of Hell, to enact his plan for "redemption". More glory for him, I say. More mindless worshiping. It is no coincidence Jesus is a "shepard" and humans are his "sheep", his "flock". Baa, baa, sheep. Baa away.  And every person since. The original sin is his. He knew of it. He allowed it. He willed it. He enacted it. He used me. He used Adam. He used Eve. Because HE wanted to. Because that was HIS plan. Heaven and Hell. Pain and love. Winners and losers. Cruelty and love. Two sides of the same coin. Just lies. Just mirages. Freedom is *******. God is a selfish, hateful, prideful, condemning being. Not so full of infinite love. Which is worse, John? Who takes true pleasure out of suffering?

I don't know anymore, Satan. I don't know. But I kind of wish you had been God instead.

Me too, John. Me too.

I'm better than you,
I'M BETTER THAN YOU,
and you don't care,
submit, submit,
give me the whole world,
acknowledge me,
my fleeting existence,
and give me all the women to lay,
oh let me fix this, broken cold world,
and fill it with the warmth of my absolute,
depraved love, the world is crazy enough
as is, but it's not enough,
never enough,
for even Bill Gates.
No we all want more,
we all see the house and the trophy wife,
and we want ours,
I laugh to cover the sound of the opening scars,
from the inside out we tear ourselves out,
never before has civilization been so,
animalistic, the hierarchy,
the power disparity,
the artificial glass ceilings,
of "education", when the young just drink,
do drugs and ****, and after four years,
they are better, better, and best,
While the merits of the great,
the inspired, the ambitious,
get torn, and lost and left behind,
and no one cares,
not the world,
not the *****.
And so I am jealous, jealous and wrathful,
wrapped in my powerlessness and apathy,
nothing new I suppose,
Just another enlightened,
Human.

I've got nothing,
I say to myself,
With a half worn half grin,
oh dear oh my oh may,
I exclaim I explain, to the cracks on my wall,
Dripping blood in my mind into,
my open mouth hungrily drinking,
every last drop, unfullfilling,
I wonder why I wonder why,
my stomach is so empty.

My mind is so full, so engineering,
thoughts and crimes, and lovely lies,
like I love you, I love you,
mi amore! Come to me, **** my ****,
and we will forever more!
Oh she laughs, as my eyes widen,
straight to my sinister soul,
what does it mean, what does it mean,
When I **** only myself,
mentally, and no more.

Look at it, look at it,
the little boy alone,
Oh where did his family, where did his family,
go?
It's not bad, it's not bad,
contrary to popular opinion,
on the island, in the seclusion,
no longer loving, those,
who you can't hear;
and those who you never see,
but who talk and talk,
and **** and ****,
while you sit there and grin,
no, no, please oh no more.

Leave me be, I won't seek thee,
so let me go, oh no you just wont
cause you stay in this mind,
and you are the blood dripping from the cracks
AND YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THE DEMONS
THE ONES EATING AT ME
FROM THE INSIDE
FROM THE WRINKLES OF MY DEPRAVED
DISGUSTING
MIND.
JUST,
die

They call me the deaf reaper,
The not-so-slim teacher,
You want a lesson?
Here ya go, let me beat ya,
I'm the best, I'm the worst dressed,
Ill fight you over your address,
I got arguments, I've got lies,
I ain't hearing your *******,
I'm making my own, and I Direct,
I do not listen.
I scream, to others but not to myself,
I'm half as great to me, twice as awesome to you,
I pity no fool,
I look at ignorance with a mixture of disgust,
And admirance.
I wanted to be a leader,
not a professor,
But profess this, my dearest,
queer hater, oh not gay,
Just weird and unneeded.,
Who will follow, A modern day ******,
Living for greatness, for evil for death,
no matter what else has been heeded.
Who can scream with the anger and the authority,
Oh, that is me, the deaf reaper.
Grim, grim!
Oh, but what a grin,
Smiling oh so devilishly,
Too deviously,
that even in his now once brightly lit din,
now on the road to recovery, through the death,
of his dearest emotions, friends,
family and hearing,
Only now can he see the vision,
But the vision was sent a year too late,
How cruel then, is fate?
Now, left with one penniless gift,
Lovely, quite irate.
Poetry, boys and girls,
Like what you feed to the dogs,
regurgitated meat,
infused with vitamins and
milk straight from the teats,
of an unwanted *****,
come here, a little closer,
if you dare meet fear,
Ill eat you, oh i'll eat you,
and lick up all your tears,
until only one fluid is leaking,
and your lips then smear,
for me all for me,
For I am not myself,
Only the images and lies,
Of beings far incompare,
what does it mean,
what does it mean,
oh Ill tell you little bean,
bean bounce bounce for jean,
look at her eyes, lustily,
She is a hand, the hand on the face,
watch it as it shivers, just out of place,
still in control, if only she could see,
Her hearing clouding her vision,
Of the demons in me.
No, no, for ever devoid,
take away the rest,
of these worthless toys,
You call feelings, given to me,
To ruin my intellect,
And degrade my being.
I will not let the good win out,
Oh I hate the light.
I will change the definition of good,
I will give death real meaning,
My own.
Listen, listen closely,
Listen to my tone.
It is the whispers, the whispers,
of the subconcious untold,
That part of you, deep inside,
that when seeing the hero win,
Says "well it woulda been cool to see,
the villain preside."
So give me the world, mind control,
and more. Oh look into these,
deep blue eyes, these,
fragile snowflakes,
these *****, *****, charms.
Feel my pain and agony,
As I disregard them,
Legion, consuming evertly,
Yum, Yum, I say with a sway,
But it is not food that I eat,
Nay, Nay, for the Deaf Reaper,
It is on another soul, another mind,
Another worthless human body,
That I PREY.

Oh,
The places I have gone,
Into the gutter onto the street,
Regurgitated,
Every fiber,
Of my uneven being,
A little yin,
A lot of yang,
And the realization,
Of the cost of "freedom",
Is security,
And the lies swept under the rug,
Therein.

Where do I go?
In this world I do not fit within,
It suits me not,
Too corporeal, too moralistic,
Too judging, and a little bit too thin.

Always finding reasons,
To opress other human beings,
Even in democracy,
The masses lurk,
Judging, what is good men.
The young are chained,
Binded by systems and laws,
Signed to social contracts,
They didnt ask for,
and most will never understand.

All in the great,
revolutionary idea!
Oh, yes, as they will tell you with a smile,
You can be anything you want to be!
(If you get a 4.0)
You can love freely!
(Except gays and underaged)
And women let me tell you,
Yes how to get an abortion,
And when!

Always distinguishing,
Classifying people,
Alpha and beta,
And whatever else in bygone alphabets,
We are social animals,
Civilized only in lies.
And all men are not created equal!
Some are born to die.
We laugh in the face of this evil,
Because we cannot control our own existence,
And the only other option is to cry,
And self annihilate.
Of course, to the world,
This is so very wrong.
Such a crazy guy.

There is no freedom I say.
Only the mirror image,
The perception of such,
We make our own choices,
Sure,
Pre ordained by our genetics,
Our expereinces, our cultures,
The boxes of our very thoughts,
Ergo the very essence of who we are,
For if we were different,
We would go left,
And not right,
into the very clutches of Satan,
The demons men swear by.

I've got nothing nice to say,
Or contribute to society,
So I oft think,
I'd best stay silent,
And censure myself away,
I hurt my friends,
My family my loved ones,
And add onto the suffering list,
Still knowing the worst I got,
is better than a lot of men.

So, alas,
Mi amore,
I have a lie to say,
If you but love me,
Oh just one night,
I will love you,
Forevermore.

This is not a metahpor,
oh no this is so so real,
this is the deliciousness,
oh for my meal,
to consist of the sweet delicacy
Oh I know you know it is true,
Let us fry a koala,
Not make it into stew.

It will be chewy and crunchy,
Oh leave the bones in,
They make the meat more tender,
And toothpicks more fun,
Let your girl make it for you,
And **** you clean while eating.
That is when you've reached heaven,
And the lust and gluttony therein.

If they try to stop you,
From stealing another koala,
Tell them it is your dinner,
And they are making you quite irate.

Beat them in the face,
And shoot their families down,
Nothing must stop you from eating,
Yet another fried koala,
One might even think its fate.

When you **** it out,
Don't fret or moan,
Take it like a man,
And bless the remains,
of the once fried koala,
As you flush it down down down.
Because another lies down under,
To quench your hunger,
Forever.

For Lexi.