barren earth
does it dream? in technicolor
of vibrant flower..........
the clouds that never pause to pour
the wind that ever moves on
forever the dust
forever the lust
the unfulfilled desires
the uncalled for fate
barren earth
in its sleep, in its countless
colourless waking hours
does it weave with
scores of scents
a deathcloth to cover
its forever life..........

I once found my heart in Catawaba
Where the blue cornflowers flourish between
Arabesque petals floating from the snowy dogwood trees
Encasing the air with the thick fragrance of innocence
You took from me beneath the dying maple tree.

The monotone cubicle in which you thrived
Wouldn't suffice for the rose petals lingering
Between your flushed lips drenched pale in the moonlight
Breathing "You are beautiful"
Smoking cigarettes with your mind.

I've been searching these deserts
I've been rummaging through my closet
I've been eating more than usual
I've been spontaneously bursting into laughter
I've been attentive
I've been regularly missing taking my anti-depressants
I've been crying hard all at once (expectedly)
I've been very extremely me

This is okay - this is okay
Thank you life
I'm okay.

I'm at this airport and it's like a chorus
The people go up the ramps
Fly away for 3 days like Horus
The returner's come home now
Waiting families embrace them with love
Jumbo jets zoom outside these giant windows
Visitors, excitedly saunter
Into this new and open place...

And this is okay
Thank you, thank you airport
I'm okay.

Fall into her hollow cheeks
what is left of her helpless hands
bleed her until there is nothing left to bleed
climb upon her neck until she cannot stand

Roll your tongue in and out of her mouth
Plant your lies securely in her mind
leave her without a doubt
until herself she cannot find

So you move away and tread on water
cannot mistake the ripples
like cracked egg shells you break them
so loudly they echo in your mind
these friends once dogs
scatter off to a better find
no more loyalty in the face of fresh meat
I don't blame the hounds the smell is too strong
and the ***** too good
My fault for trying to find solace with
guitar boys in bands
I will always be a once lost sister
they speak of nostalgically when they meet another sister
someone they used to know
I havent changed; they have this place has, it is no longer home.
It just smells like it.
find bullet wounds in my guts
I am spineless
I ride myself on cowardice and pride
I have blood alcohol of 0.5
Theres nothing left but
pride pride pride
Oh Theresa you carry your bible so well
your hands haven't aged in this golden state
the orpahn by your side could use a meal though
the smell of dead animals and garbage trucks and burning
nothing like smoke that has lodged its way into your throat
you cannot un-lodge the dark black sticky stuff
its poison
gun blasts
I thought I could face it
I am a child  of nowhere

I was always one for subtelty
but this was almost too easy
Click went the locking mechanism
Shattering the lock
Almost too easy
As behind me it silently shuts
Follow your scent
Through the sterile halls
A pin drop
Security gaurd Mag light
Down a quiet dark corridor
I cover my mouth with my hand
To cover the laughter as i hide
Almost too easy
I FIND IT
The door opens
This is almost surreal
I feal the cold
My breath is a cloud
So quickly in and out
Stiffling laughter
My wide begging eyes
Jessica
I shake with anticipation
The cold habdle beneath my skin
The bag
The frost
Unzip
white flesh
red hair
blue lips
purple veins
i am at a loss
for words
as i stand above you frozen
Still with you
I will die here
warmth on your translucent skin
was it my finger
Or that of another
that traced the outline of your black lips
or the frozen glaciers of your hip bones

Suddenly a light behind me
The gaurd screams stop
I laugh hysterically
i can no longer hold in my euphoria
No one will take you from me again
not even the stone hands of your step-father
i scream wide eyed
With resolution
and speed that surpised even me
My fingers curl about the handle of a scalpel
Left so carelessly out on the counter
By the morticians assistant
on his first day
a bullet rips me through my shoulder
but i fear no pain
i am no coward for you
no fear as i close in beneath the white flourescnent lights
No one will seperate us again
the warmth of the spray
black puddle against the tile so white
Your eyelids flutter
as i watch my final breath condense befoere my eyes
A cloud
my final breath
I fall asleep at your side
Eternal

She
Hair
Skin
Talk
Smell
Walk
Hands
The makeup of your space is perfect
Rightly assigned a quiet gender
Making right the wrongs that seem
To poison your mind
This is not your burden
You clip your own wings
Is it heavy upstairs
In the wonder of all thought
With these two Eyes
With these two Hands
I was so quickly connected
It has been forever since then
Since words last past between us
Did you feel that?
The movement
                           What is this tendril of consciousnesses?
                            The pinprick of light in a sea of black
                             So suddenly passed into this strange moment of (life)
Soon Will  it pass
And Will I lie with you beneath the soil
{the brightest of flowers
will grow from the pit of my guts}
Life unto life it seems
From this side I find it hard to tell
Yet fools say they know!
They call it faith! A thing so pure
Is filthy and stained
So we give you a name
First and last
Tell you of history
Sit in this class
Grow up thinking
Something is missing
So we fill it up
With drinking and kissing
NO That is wrong
I KNOW WHATS RIGHT!
FOLLOW ME I KNOW
WHERE YOU'LL GO WHEN YOU DIE
TO A GRAND PLACE WITH TREES AND SUNS
or
if you don't believe me


you will burn in ******* hell