I have a fear of success
What’s to come after
When you’ve achieved your dreams
Do you become dormant
Or form new ones
Are we stretching for goals
Every second of our lives
A slave to our own brains
That never stop running
I fear success..
Due to it not being enough
I cannot finish a race
Just to start another
My lungs have a capacity
They’re already burning
Losing their motivation rapidly
What is being happy
If there’s always more to chase
A world pushing you to have more
A world punishing you for existing
A world manipulating you to do more and more
To just exist
Would be a drug of bliss
The devil keeps it to himself
Or maybe it’s god
Holding it in front of us to bide to his will
To his thoughts of how we should be
It is impossible to break free
Closest you come is by having so many paper bills
Paper that society has pushed upon us to live our lives
Paper that becomes our air
A deep fresh breath is full of pollution
Of tainted beliefs

It's just like how that old broken down trailer
       Will always be my home
That no matter how angry my sisters make me
        They're still my sisters
I rigorously attempt to convince myself otherwise
        Convince myself to hate you
To wish I never ******* met you
        But yet I always remember
      I still love you...
To me, you will always be, Inevitable
It seems I could run away
Run across the world
And it would be right back to where you are standing
Like no time had passed
And you're still waving at me
The only difference is I'm so out of breath
I haven't seen you in years
Even though I've seen you everyday
I haven't touched you
Yet I've watched myself do it for ages
I frantically avoid anything of you
But there is no getting away


It will always be you.
A part of me

There's a moment
Playing a loop in my head
My hand sliding up your dress
A giggle and a smile, so pure
I will tear out my heart
If it plays once more...
And it does
Yet my chest stays intact
I cannot lose
The little I have left
So I let it play
Until I'm curled on the floor
Afraid to let go
I slip into madness with you
But I lose all sanity without you
There's so many musicless songs
That I can hear
When I'm thinking of you
And it hurts in ways
That can feel so good
Even the pain you can bring
I've become completely addicted to

I've tried
To be better for you
Even though I don't have you
Putting efforts towards something not there
I am what I am
I can never be good enough
But I can decide
To be the worst for you
So that's what I'll do
Don't expect me to be
What you thought me to be
Because here in reality
Tha just isn't me

I have crashed and burned
And you are nowhere to be found
Where are you?
Do I even deserve you here?

I need you
More now than ever before
But I am just a thorn
Come near me and you'll bleed

I honestly wish I was worth the pain
You are...
I'd let you stab me so many times
Until I am nothing but scars

If I were you
I'd stay away too
Don't let me burn you too
Let me go down all alone

Throw me a bone
And you'll be consumed
Into the darkness
That I'm falling through

No amount of light
Can illuminate these shadows
Run!
Run the **** away

Everyone,
Do me a favor
Just let me fade
Fade away

I don't want to die
But I don't want to be alive
So if this life
Could just let me disappear

Forget me
Don't acknowledge me
Avert your gaze
God! Please...

I'm tired
Of telling myself things will change
When death
Is the only thing that seems in range

So why **** me
When you've already broke me
Disremember me
Let me keep destroying me

I'm already dead
No reason to look my way
Ignore me
You've already abused me

I say I'm broken
But really I'm nothing
Yet I feel it all
So just treat me like nothing

Looking for you
Inside of everyone
Everyone I meet
They continue to disappoint
It's said "there's a million of you"
But there is only ******* you

My mind attempts to wander
Yet it always sets home with you
I don't know where to go
How do I move from you?