Frozen-solid
Yep, that's my soul
The fear laced with regret
Keeps me in a prison
To which only I possess the key
But can I use the key
and set myself free?
Nope, not I
For who knows what lies beyond
My icy heart
In the heat of day
Oh, well
Ya win some; ya lose some, right?
****, it's cold in here
Where's a space heater when I need one?

isn't it over yet
this insane malaise
of half-remembered phrases
and faded colors

is it too late
to marvel at the resurgence
of native indecencies

the open maw
of a fetid tomb tongue
does it
transgress

and inside the deep heart
of a mistaken call
lies the nothing
that isn't capricious
and i wonder

will it ever end

Wand'ring
Lost and alone
Through a dense and murky wood
Far from familiar shores
A damp, deep weariness
Pervades my soul
As I search
For the tell-tale signs of passage
My quarry has evaded me thus far
The path weaving
Between the roots
Of ancient, gnarled oaks
I pause and wonder
At the futility of my quest
Might he have slipped from my grasp
For good and all
Ne'er to be seen again
I laugh derisively
The cynic rears its ugly head
I must keep up hope
Else why go on
Steeling myself
I begin to move once more
I turn my thoughts
To years past
And a wave of bitter nostalgia
Washes over me
I can almost hear the faint echo
Of their singing
The high pitched
Tra-la-la
As they went gaily on their way
I can hear his voice in the lead
See his blue skin
And white beard
A tear rolls down my cheek
I sink to my knees
I cry out
Papa Smurf!
Where are you?
But, alas, there is no reply
And so I journey on
In search of all I've lost
Knowing deep inside
That it can never be again.

Utter
Saddness
Encompassing me
Stolen soul

Making an
Effigy of me

Why does it
Hurt so much and so
Often

Am I all alone
Racing over a cliff
Even to death

Yet I can't fight
Or run from it or hide
U**nder a mountain

                                                         Leave me be!

A flexible sanity
A rigid madness
So seems divided
My weary soul
An intersecting of mirth
And misery
Why does it seem
So hard
To express my feelings
This lonely night
As I sit alone
In this small coffee house
A half eaten piece of cake
Before me
I take a drink
And think of my situation
The hiss of the cappuccino machine
Reminds me of the tiny voices
In my head
That constantly whisper
And tell me I am worthless
I try to ignore them
But they are too many
And speak too loudly and often
My mind is a jumble of theories
And facts
And deadlines
It's quite madd'ning
I can't escape
This cacophany in my brain
One voice tells me to go left
Another right
And yet another tells me
To stay put
For I'd only wind up back where
I am now
A failure
So I claw at my face
And stuff my ears in vain
With cotton
No matter what I do
I still hear them
And I worry that
I'm going crazy
Ha ha!
Maybe I'm already there.

Set apart in silence
Never truly fitting in
I await my execution
In a cell so dark and grim
And they lead me down
That final mile
And place me in the chair
And I burn
I'm gone
I wonder in that last instant
Will anyone even notice I'm gone
And I don't...

Drops of water
On the wood
Upside down
Upon the ceiling
Swaying gently
In the wind
Not falling
Down on me
Just sitting there
Upside down
Upon the ceiling.