The day I finally figured out the reason you constantly reel me in without lifting a finger was the day that I knew there was nothing between us.

I figure you will never see me as anything more than a pretty face and an easy target where you can easily hit bullseye and walk away with a hefty reward.

No hard feelings. No strings attached.

Well, there was one string that you just didn’t seem to notice. It resembled a loose thread on your clothes. You didn’t care, but I couldn’t help but to tug away at it until all your clothes were destroyed and it was just you.

And once I saw you, naked and revealed, I knew there was nothing but bones in skin. There was no heart, and that string that I hoped and dreamed would lead to me, led to nothing.

I once knew a man

who married his highschool sweetheart.

He would meet me on the weekends

in a ***** hotel room.

When I'd arrive he'd be laying on the bed,

a cigarette in his mouth

and a bottle of whiskey in hand.

"She used to love me," he'd say. "Then she left."

Then he'd cough up a tired laugh.

Once he told me that I looked like her when she was young.

Tears littered his cheeks

as he recalled the love they shared.

"Now look where I am. I'm stuck here with a *******."

That whole year I didn't know his name until last month

when he said, "John Adair."

I scribbled it down on my palm and never saw him again.

The next day I went looking for her.

I finally found her this day.

So here I sit on this cold New Years day

silence thick in the air as I stare at the grave of

Cynthia Adair.

she asked me if i was happy
i said no

i did not tell her of the scars i hid beneath my clothes

i did not tell her of the tears i wiped away at night

i did not tell her that death was something i desired

i could not tell her that

because she did not care

she was only curious

isnt it funny
how we tell others
"dont ever tell anyone to
**** themself"
and yet we turn our backs
we hide our tears
are emotions
our blood
and we yell at our souls
telling ourselves
"**** yourself"

Those who tell someone to die
Are the ones that we should take into our arms
And hold
They are the ones we should
Search the eyes of
To find what they are really thinking and feeling
Because they are the ones
Who have lost their minds
And we the ones who want to die
Are the ones who are sane
The ones who see the world as it is
We are the only people who can help