blushing hues
preserving precious nutrition
the sun is moving closer
releasing fingers that once reached high
tumbling to the ground
drying out, and crinkling
the sun is turning its face
allowing the next phase to begin

insignificant
like tiny ants crowding the cracks
minuscule
like the creeper ******* nutrients
one "being" on earth
one earth, in the middle of "space"

ancient methuselah,
your mycelium branching-
entwining, and communicating
giving strength to brethren
as hibernation takes hold
birthing fungi anew

*orange, browns, yellows and reds
i give my breath away

Hopping barefoot
                                          from boulder to boulder,
                                                                ­                            exploring this
                                                            ­                                                                 ­ ancient phenomenon



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -




Rocky expanse
                                         to the horizon
                                                                ­              making love
                                                                ­                                                at boulder field

etchings into wax
dripping time away
illuminating our surroundings
to an ever greater horizon
the sands of time
slowly ticking
like precious moments
and relaxed breaths
will soon die out

flickering, flickering flame
burning and exhausting
we need to be able
to see our limitations
our flaws
to be able to
get past them
we must not
beat them into
submission
nor ignore
and deny that
they are us
as we are them

they do not speak our language
so how can we expect them
to react
to react as desired
to play the shadows
on the wall
slowly melting
slowly burning away
as we sit
here contemplating
this existence
we call life

Throb THROB Throb
BOOM *Boom
urg
walls all around
glaring bright light
yelling and screaming
Pound *POUND Pound
the world is resonating around me
twinge here
ache there
pulsating pain
almost a rhythm
drumming on my brain
why are you all so loud
can't we dim it all down
Tattoo TAT TAT TAT
a storm be brewing
thunder and booming
to a steady hummm


                                 SH
                                         Shh
                       .....................................  shhh just whisper

         .................................................................­...................           into silence




**PLEASE!!!!

Does the wind and tide flow together,
do they ever fight for direction
do they ever struggle for strength
two different powers vying for dominance
two different forces pulling their weight
though they were never in control
they were never choosing the way
do they think they control their fate
do they argue with the compass
when they both gain strength
the dark, fast storm erupts
when one wants east and the other west
when they struggle for their will
the moon's pull is ever in control
the sun's direction the center
the earth's rotation the eternal ruler
why such arguments
why such judgements
they are never each in command
they are never in agreement
the storm will come

Left alone in this world, but there are so many faces around me
Left alone but the noise never ends
Left alone with everyone lying
Left alone
Why does everyone have to pretend they care?
They didn’t give a **** when it would matter
But at the end they say they’ll be there
It would be so much better if they actually stayed the same
So that you don’t have to worry about the stares
And so you know that they aren’t being fake
What does it even matter
It would be so much better if it was actually possible to be alone
And not just feel like you are alone
The noise never ends

Parents are wonderful people
They bring you in to this world and before you flutter your eyes,
before you take your very first breath they love you and care for you
They raise you as best as they can
They try to do everything to make you happy
They keep you safe and warm
They want you to be always with them
But from the first moments of freedom
You push them away
You get mad at them for trying so hard
You hurt them and fail them
You leave them behind as you try to have your own life
But that life was never really your own
It was theirs, so you ran so that you can truly be yourself
But that was never possible because that can never be
So now you ran in to nothingness, left with out a beginning
And if there isn’t a beginning then there can never be an end
And all you ever wish for is an end of the life that was never yours

Another day, with you by my side
another day, with the sun shining, warming our skin
a day for adventure, for pleasure and reflection
to be etched into memory for eternity

Walking barefoot over sand,
feeling the warmth seep from over and below
a dip in the cool invigorating water,
a dance of lovers, rippling in the lake

The calm water's embrace enveloping us
to swim, and float and cradle each other
intoxicated with this moment
and the trust of giving yourself

To hold your breath, and submerge
allowing your lungs to empty, bubbles defying gravity
to feel the need for oxygen, and rising to the surface
emerging breathlessly, water dripping from your nose

Seeing your face beaming at me,
sun and love reflecting in your eyes
head bobbing in and out of the water
gazing lovingly at one another

To float, buoyantly, carelessly
while the swallows playfully circle above
dunking into the water,  a soothing sip here
and a refreshing dip there

Treading to the beach,
walking heavily on the sand
to collapse into each others arms
and feel the love radiate

Radiating from each other
the sky, sun and lake
as I am listening to the beat of your heart
bees drunkenly bounce from flower to flower

The clouds lazily float above us,
the blue sky, like a surrounding globe
with a leafy and mossy treeline on all sides,
a green outline to this bliss, a speechless vision to behold

Creating the feeling of being at the center
the center of the forest, of the earth
to cherish this moment with you
to hold in our hearts, and never let go

whirls and twirls
                                        and notes of stories
                                  your elegant dancing fingers
                                                       bring life to the air
                                                             ­      a harmony of beauty
                                                                ­              a melody with love
                                                            ­     keys of union
                                                       blending chime and cord
                                             with masterful
                                 precision, a euphony
                                           of bliss, a vibration
                                                of magical, brilliant
                                         passionate sensation
                             awe and elation
                                     grace and grandeur                                                         ­                
                                                ­                             sonata      
                                                                                    rhapsodies  
                                                                ­                                    notturno
                                                                ­                                               mazurka
                                                         ­                                                 fantasies                      
                                                                ­                                    scherzo  
                                                       ­                                                  dreamily
                                                        ­                                                         tranquil
                                                        ­                                                                 energetic
                                                     ­                                                      and tender
                                                        
       ­                                                                 ­                     with fire and life
                                                            ­              
                                                                ­               a frenzy of symphony
                                                        ­
                                                          assaults my senses

I'm trying to live life to the fullest
and the meaning is on the crest
As I look at the sun
this fleeting feeling sweeps over me
the horizon will always be on the run
such an unnameable emotion
just out of reach, blowing in the wind
I'm becoming blind,
to what is really happening
I'm trying to harmonize
but instead I'm anathematised
it doesn't matter what time of day
or how I try to contemplate
I'm pushing you further and further away
I don't obligate  
you to stay    
you don't want to be analyzed
or rationalized
you're already leaving me behind
I'm just beginning to understand
self, mind, can you discern?
you radiate such command,
your meaning causes this yearning
I'm tantalized
and hypnotized  
then you start to depart
before I can truly see,
hear this plea  
to grant my desire to comprehend,
you're slowly slipping out of my grasp,
before I can write this fleeting,
fleeting thought down
you've already flown,
                                         flown far,
                                                            ­  far away............
                                                ­                                        ...............

To watch the sun glare,
a rainbow of colors shining this world,
to smell the rain fall
a reprieve from the chaos
splendidness surrounds life
the death of a spider
when the eggs hatch,
the larval caterpillar
wrapped up in a cocoon;
emerges into an elegant butterfly,
the bacterial decay of nature
into flourishing mushrooms,
the ***** of bees
into sweet, sweet honey,
waste and manure
encourage bloom of radiant flowers,
the grace and beauty of youth
becoming the wisdom and dignity of winkled skin,
lessons learned
from hardships experienced

when in negative light
remember,
there will be another chance to improve
another time to change the next outcome
your view, aspect of the universe
greatly changes the situation
your attitude, your reaction
towards others, towards life
is what monumentally effects the context

so prideful us humans
an ego trip indeed
an argument of the opposites,
a debate of loved ones,
are both sides wrong?
often not,
yet the argument remains
admit your id
profess your apology,
it does not have to
mean that you
are the one at fault,
(though you very well might be)
it does not mean
the other is infinitely correct,
sincere it should be
it simply states,
you are sorry for the distress,
sorry for the difference of opinions,
thoughts, ideas
that could not be controlled,
you are admitting
you value your relationship
much, much more
then your self righteousness,
if you genuinely care
you will listen,
and if you listen
you will be on the road
to understanding
*and only at understanding
can you truly love

The sun's breaking the horizon,
bringing each day anew
though it's always been there
we are just moving through
to meet this sun with glittering eyes
staring at its birth
mesmerizing
tantalizing
wanting more more and more
knowing this has happened
it shall come again
I am here to meet you
day after day
to learn your every crevice
your every crater and bridge
the sun is breaking the horizon
it shall be new today

emotionally drained
past calling back
echoing all around
haunting and foreboding
threatening to reemerge
or is it just past expectations
past fears,
that I place over the present
though these words
are frighteningly familiar
too close to heart
to ignore
too close to past pain
past insecurities
to not worry,
not worry that it is
all too true
not worry that
the pattern will continue
that it really is cause of me -
the mine shaft is
closing all around

To be gone and return
the page remains blank
emotions and visions
still assault me
but to pen them
in a way
that flows to rain,
cascading into birth
of the mind's image rays



......... seems unattainable

silent as the moon
stalking the streets
we are the night
we are life - life incarnated
a family
a family who met just months before
a new identity
pain vanishes into pleasure
a euphoria like no other
sharing our life force
to become one
for eternity
it is an honor,
to give my blood to you
and you to me
we do not do this lightly
and only selectively
but the dangerous thrill
is still there
a game of dominance
and acceptance
I bite your neck,
my acrylic fangs
break your skin easily
I claw my nails down your back
and watch the blood drip
my tongue trails along the cuts
your taste is coppery with salt,
blade dancing kiss
our tongues
trustfully pass the razor
back and forth
I take the razor from between my teeth
and slowly dig it into my arm
watching the blood bubble up
offering it to you -
a perfect gentleman,
never breaking eye contact
you savor my essence
then holding my hand
you gently kiss my knuckles

              high on the
   life blood of our existence

              crux ansata,
             the key of life

She's told over and over
it's her fault
her talk, her reaction
her action, her likes
dislikes, emotion
she's told it's her fault
she thinks it's her fault
it's who she is
it's her fault
she's told it's an overreaction
she's told it's not her fault
she's told it's out of her hands
it can't be her fault
she is so nice, and wonderful
and fun to be around,
she starts to think
it wasn't her fault
that life is different
she believes that
she is not at fault
that she couldn't stop it
but that it isn't her fault
but then it starts
to come right back
the same comments
start to be repeated
not to the extreme
yet
but it ends up, after all
it is her fault

invisible force,
not to reckon with
subtle with power
sway, circulation
flow and erosion
to feel your touch
hear your passing
never truly see you
but in the trees' dance
they are alive and strong
yet never move on their own
you give them a life
that they can never have
you give them the song
the rhythm and beat
to dance to
like a sparkling of their fingers
and the twirl of their hair

you give our world depth,
shape the sand and earth
in ways we can never achieve
forge mountains and
break what we so
pain strikingly *****
you are the might
who moves oceans
the strength who uplifts houses
the delicate touch
of making a dandelion sneeze
the exquisite sweetness
of swilling leaves

we try to harness you
imitate you
adore you
fear you
though we can never
stop you

Dad you were the one that was always there for me
The one who would make me laugh when tears were falling down my face
The one who knew when something was wrong even though I never told you
The one who stayed with me when the day was at its end
Then one who taught me how to live my life
The one who tried to give advice even though you never knew what was really happening
You always told me that I would grow apart from you
You always told me that I wouldn’t want you around any longer
I had no idea how such a thing could be possible
But guess what dad at the end you were always right
And now when everything is lost, I realize my flaws
I’m sorry it took so long for me to come to reality
I’m sorry I grew up too fast
I’m sorry you had to be right
And now after I put you through all that pain
I’m the one left crying
And it’s no one else’s fault but my own selfishness
And at the end of it all, all I have it regret

You live your life hoping to make others happy
You live your life trying to see things through others eyes
You live your life with others expectations
So when will you truly live your life
This isn’t life
Life isn’t about others but about your self
But then what would be the point of life with out any one else in it
What would be the point of life if no one cared?
If you never truly made an effort why should you live?
Life is too much of a complicated question
So just live

Little ball of fur and terror
you have eternally captured our hearts
little kitten of sweetness and delight
you are a wonder to be alive
a little one wobbly on your legs,
barely able to jump
you have leaped high, high into our lives
with your demanding meows, and playful pounces
a little explorer on the rise
fighting off puppy's tails and feathers
and illnesses alike
but nothing is getting you down
you are still as sweet, and playful
and not to mention hungry as ever before
you are a fighter and you will survive
and we will encourage you
with all the love possible
keep up your kitten silliness
and we will be there cheering you on
and remember the big white puff is gentler than she looks

Memories are such wonderful things
They are what constructs this life, this world
They are beautiful but also painful
Because in the end they are just memories
What is life if you can no longer make new memories?
All the memories that were ever made are the only ones that you will ever have
And remember some of those memories can be false
Some of those memories can be different in others eyes
So how can you truly believe in memories?

reflection, reflection
are you really there
a mirror of this life
is it the truth
the truth of the present
the truth of how life
became the way it is
can I see past you
into the other side
what is behind you
what are "you"
instead of this reflection
of me
you so readily show

is it your destiny,
to be read
aloud to many
listened and dissected
in unison
leading our
thoughts as one
every crevice examined -
an anchor to gravity

or should you
just be looked at,
at face value
appreciated
for who you truly are
the sound,
flow and rhyme
of your verse

I believe to fully
appreciate you,
you should be
read in many different ways
to see your genuine value
that is often unique to all

though truthfully,
you really are
just the mutterings
of a poet wandering
room to room
in your mansion

a mere moment.
a chance meeting.
souls caressing.
a content sigh.
rapid heart beats.
eyes gazing.
fluttering lashes,
pursed lips,
interlocked fingers,
passionate kisses,
you make my day shine,
my heart tingle,
chills spreading across my body,
joyous moments,
unforgettable.
sharing thoughts,
bodies entwined,
every moment with you is pleasure,
my mind wanders to you when we are apart,
that twinkle in your eye,
the way your lips curve in a smile.
your laughter, your insight
your voice is music to my ears
I wouldn't change a thing.
You are who I look forward to when I wake,
Who makes me giddy with anticipation,
possibilities are endless.
This is love
and I'm deeply in love with you

variegated dreams
overturning the ashened night
wake, wake
branch and twist
to the music
of the tide
escapism of this world engulfed
with itineraries and haste
leaving fragments of vivacity in its wake
like riding a comet through life
stop, stop
smell the roses
make shapes out of clouds
within the starry night
rest, rest
blooming minds
drudging through the snow
whilst in drought
turning page after page
within this infancy
of human kind
sleep
and read but a line

Pain and love
do they ever get confused?
Passion and anger
do they ever trigger each other?
feeling as if I was actually helping you,
when you hurt me everyday,
blaming myself when the bruises bloomed,
you said that there was no one else
to take your anger out on,
convincing me
over and over again
that you would actually change
actually stop,
only for you to go back to your normal self
when you forgot to try,
you shouldn't have to try,
it shouldn't be so hard
to actually be gentle with the one you love,
if it's truly love, you would never raise a hand
if it's truly love, you would never raise your voice
so cruelly,
I walked away
finally I left, and didn't come back,
after many years with you,
I actually left,
left my old life behind
to try to start anew,
I thought there couldn't be anything else,
I thought that we had true love,
I thought that all that passion you had
balanced out all that anger,
but I was wrong
you were just too angry, violent for me,
taking it out on me too often
I left,
and it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life,
but it was also the healthiest,
I am actually happy now,
truly, truly happy

to write a poem,
what is the point
to pick such topics
just the right word,
that amazing phrase
an awe inspiring emotion
to put pen to paper
or more commonly now
fingers to keys
why such an urge
who does it benefit
the writer, the reader
or maybe the dog?
should it be vivid
should it be magical
how about beautiful
or even disturbing
should it make you laugh
or tear
or should it just simply
make you think
hard and deep
and even self question
or bring you back to that moment
way back when
is it because
you have a logolepsy?
or maybe ahypnia?
it's starting to become achroous,
this examination of the verse
when all I want
to make is an alborado,
to sing your praises
and write about pageism
why not?
this galanty is so much fun,
are poems a paideia?
or are they just to say your point,
a rush of emotions
a release of the tension
the sharing of love
and the caress of sadness
though I'd rather aim to macarize
and cause habromania
or dacrygelosis
so don't moue
it's not my fault
you'd rather patavinity
I should just write a decastich
I know, I know
all this garniture,
is causing garboil
stop this gemebund
to write is to write  
be poem, story, song
they are all precious
in their own self




Satisdiction

Surprise shadowing
   the Sun's unknowing
pain; Capturing wonderment
    indicates reassurance

                                                    ­              
                                                                ­     The unknowable Star
                                                            ­            kissing the Earth
                                                           ­          birthing her descendants,
                                                    ­                     singing longingly;
                                                      ­                magnifying her Beauty


                                        
                     ­                                                                 ­                                        Alas,
                                                                ­                                                                 ­     Obliterating affliction
                                                      ­                                                                 ­    Prohibiting pain
                                                            ­                                                                 ­       with maniacal ciphering
                                                                ­                                                          of experimental earnestness

bed of colors,
carpet of scents
dancer of summers
majestic ambiance
love in a mist
moon orchids,
sun kissed
pansies laced with orange
graceful, and elegant
on gossamer wings
swirling with passion and eloquence
a welcome of spring
a flourish of blossoms
floating to every posy
vising all gardens
ring around the rosy
dancing on the wind
joyful flight
magnificent winged
expertise despite
began with crawling, living in a cocoon
to be reborn with freedom
until the harvest moon
never defeated
so bright with trickery
a unique design on all
such a mystery
twirling and fluttering until evenfall
some say an omen of good luck, some bad
others believe you are visiting spirits of our lost
touching upon lily pads
until the frost
though in truth you just like the taste
of our skin, the salt on your tongue
compared to the sweetness of nectar, never disgraced
for those so young
bringing birth to new flowers
two spirits dancing in the wind
flying over and under, a shower
of sparkling dust, ever twined
following where one leads
to an everlasting paradise
a show to behold
this twinkling in the sun's sky

I want to celebrate you

All through life,
I forgot the day until
I'm reminded by others
but now that you're gone
I remember the day each year
without any help
the day feels so empty
so meaningful yet
meaningless
I want to surprise you with
something special
some bright flowers
or a pretty piece of jewelery
to visit you, or at least
give you a call
and wish you a happy birthday
to hear your voice, and give you a hug
to tell you how wonderful you are
and just how great of a mother you are
to go back to all those years
that I forgot and let the day pass
without meaning
and to make sure that you knew
just how much I appreciate you

But now to go to your place of rest
to see your name written there
the words we picked
that doesn't even begin to describe
to sit on the dirt and weep
bring some flowers that you'll
never see or smell,
that someone will clean
up in a week or two
brings me to the thought
that, that might just bring some peace
some closure
some way to show you how much I care
but I can't even do that,
being miles and miles away
though even if I was closer
would I?

I can be close to you
as close as I can get now
anywhere I am
with but a thought

Happy Birthday Mother

emerald, olive, viridian
oh how you perplex me
forest, jade, chartreuse
why do you tease me so
cyan, verdigris, moss
such excitement arises
to be a word
to be a meaning
is there such a thing,
to have a feeling
to see a vision,
phthalo, pine, teal
are you the same
mint, myrtle, laurel
you make me envious
to be blooming, to be healthy
to be young, to be clumsy
are you callow, how about credulous?
but such a conservationist
unquestioning, so trustful,
tenderfoot and common
the tree, the lawn, the willow
though ecological and crude
a sage in all but name
apple, spinach, pea
aren't you scrumptious,
lime, kelly, bice
are you nature, how about luck
you're pungently rotten
though with such dark beauty and hope,
love and lust ensues
you're the jolliness of balance
and the creative intelligence;
of evil, and decay of money and safety,
will you resurrect me, are you immortality?
such jealousy arises
high goals and honor
so so allusive
healing and vitality
you're calming though fast
lush spring stability,
abundant generosity,
vert vegetation; witchcraft
an aphrodisiac I hear,
are you youth or fading youth?
sunrise and life, growth and fertility
sacred ideology,
eroticized though shameful
so romantic and humble
I see the third ray
or is the the fifth ray, the third eye
are you truth, are you vision
it's becoming a science,
so much compassion
the fourth chakra, the heart,
the centre of us all
a higher consciousness
such a harmonious aura
a hunter, a nurse, a solider, an outdoorsman
villains and superstition
misfortune and prosperity
with toxicity, sickness and death,
recycle and reuse
oh so powerful
you exude auspiciousness
just a holiday
mystical fairies and spirits
though also devilish,
cancer in the stars
a renewal of paradise,
biliously tranquil
are you refreshingly soothing,
peacefully restful,
a naive novice,
very understanding,
is there truly a term for you?
what do you really convey,
countless representations
a definition of name,
or do you signify the feeling, the specimen
the aspect?
though some have no locution for you

here I am,
stepping around the issue
you are you, in any word
yet with a different meaning

how many paths, how many loves
living and changing and ever climbing
learning and growing and springing over
like purple sunsets entering red mountains
each experience reopening your eyes, gaining
wisdom and freedom, ever increasing strength

Atlas holding Gaia, never ending strength
becoming charged and overcome with love    
encircled with history and caring, gaining
a repertoire of eternal connections, climbing
into dream fields surrounded by mountains
will this serenity ever be over?

though hopefully the uncertainty will be over
and that we will have strength
to conquer all the encountered mountains
created by each newly attained love
embrace avenues crossed and obstacles climbed
to have pleasure and confidence gained

though will paradise ever be gained
allowing forgetfulness of pain we're over
while still remembering friendships we climbed
every node you pass gives strength
for the next stage of love
giving elemental power to move mountains

our past shadows creating fresh mountains
to relive, to adore; understanding gained
so many different forms of love
meaningfully distinct, passed but never over,
each one providing new wonderful strength
to allow us unique nirvanas climbed

always strive for larger heights climbed
those hopes will be worth mountains
don't fear any loss of strength,
weakness endured is often willpower gained
hate and sorrow should never over-
come the treasureful bliss of love

*Don't be afraid of the climb to the top of the mountain
unbelievable strength will be gained,
all the adventures that are over will become unforgettable love

What would happen if I was gone
What would people think
Sure they might imagine that they were upset for a couple of days
But life would still go on
They would forget and they would move on
They would no longer care that I wasn’t part of everyday life
Would there be any regrets that I left behind
I doubt it because no one really cares

searing heat

drip

drip

drip

translucent skin
within skin
to be
here
yet
never

again
seen

smoke rising ever higher
catching wisps along the way

to transform into clouds
becoming one

forever joined
yet
never

together

double helix rainbow
droplets and dew

hope for the future

Delicate, delicate will o' wisp,
As bright as the ocean
As light as the wind
Eve is your haven
Sunrise your peace

Will-o-wisp, will-o-wisp
So caring, so fragile
One of a kind
Wavering sorrow,
Flickering happiness

Oh my will o' wisp
Poised overhead
Floating from me to you,
To him and her
Spinning and blinking
And silently crying

Poor, poor will-o-wisp
Only a glance
A smile
Or wink
Seeking attention
Love, and adoration

Sweet, sweet will o' wisp
Don't despair
You are cherished
Valued and prized

Tiny, tiny will-o-wisp
Please stay awhile
A blessing
Your presence
Brilliantly radiant
For all to see