Alright dad. *******.

You can’t come back and expect me to be the eight year old you took to the beach

it doesn’t work like that

You hit my mom

You are the reason She married someone she did not love

someone safe and stupid and rich, but I guess I can be blamed for that too “Someones gotta take care of the kid”

*******.

You only could find fault with my sister. You made her feel less than garbage.

You made her jump like a ******* wind-up toy every time anyone shows her any kind of attention.

*******.

A movie ticket and a beer is not gonna patch us up. It’s not going to make us even. We will be even if you just go somewhere else and continue killing yourself on your ***** and your hate you call love.

go back to Myrtle Beach or California or wherever the hell you say you live and just leave me the hell alone.

Bestill
one word
used as a charm
When you get oh so humanistic-
and panicked-
and-
can't-
breathe-
Through the smog of your angststaranxietystarconcernstardespairstardismaystardoubtstardrea­dstarhorrorstarjittersstarpanicstarscarestarsuspicionstarterrorst­aruneasestaruneasinessstarworrystarabhorrencestaragitationstarave­rsionstarawestarconsternationstarcowardicestarcreepsstardiscompos­urestardisquietudestardistressstarfaintheartednessstarforebodings­tarfrightstarfunkstarmisgivingstarnightmarestarphobiastarpresenti­mentstarqualmstarreverencestarrevulsionstartimiditystartremblings­tartremorstartrepidationstarbête noirestarchickenheartednessstarcold feetstarcold sweatstarrecreancy

Bestill
and breathe
and don't spare
a second thought
to the past
You are Heaven-sent
Dont.   You.   Dare.   Forget.

I am concerned
That you are my desert spring
And I will drown in you
That I haven't felt like this
In a ****** long time.
And I will forget
I am concerned of tying the stem of your flower-kite
And gluing it to a brick.
And I will forget my nature
To drag you through the thorn bushes naked.
I am concerned
That You will make me
Happier than I have been in a year
Of purgatory
Only for me to leave.
And I am concerned
That I may
Fly this plane into a building


and say a four-letter word

It was only when I held it in my hands. When I folded it gently between my palms, in wonder at the shocking lightness of it. When I held it up to my nose and looked cross-eyed at its insides. It was only then that I saw the perfect intricacies of it. It was only when I pried it open. When I traced the spidery web of it, in awe of the fragile unlikeliness of it. When I tugged at the tenuous knots of it.

When I tore it, ripped and stabbed, burned and bled it dry, When I hung it on a meat hook. I realized the luck of it all. Meeting you

But now its a different luck.  It’s My fault again.

Oh god the sweetness of blame.

So Sick of poetic *******, If I have something to say i’m gonna say it. ***** Shakespeare and Brand New and Death Cab. Tonight it’s ACDC

Pour me another Running through the fields tipping over cattle But falling on my *** These cows won’t budge It’s an uphill battle and I’m in reverse So I fall and smoke my head upon the earth Laughing I need another shot to hit me. Now I can’t grip it it’s slipping my coordination is the worst I’m having a good time So pour me another Wait hows My stomach turned I can’t remember the rhyme Is it beer before liquor or the other way around I think I mixed it both ways I’ve caught up to myself I’m gonna puke like in the old days When I first started chugging stolen beers Like what I thought all enlightened teens did So quick let me hold this bucket in the front of my face As I run outside Oh **** I spilled it slipped in it And vomited again by the stain It feels like a vice grip is beating up my brain.

Diamonds in her
Honey in a  living form
What do you dream of?

Oh! Honey Honey
Can I be the Honey on your leaf?
Stickily clung
and so sweet

My name a remembered taste
On the tip of your tongue
Honey
and so sweet

So why not?
The air is cold
The bees are tired
won't have to fight for long

My Honey

I take another drag as you brush the hair from your face
Book in hand
You glance my way and the disappointment is palpable
It's raining now
I inhale the last of the smoke
Gazing deep into your perfect disappointment
Smirking
Flicking the white cancer on to the asphalt
I turn on me heel
And am gone

Or that's how I imagined it

Impact.

I. Need.To.Hurt.

Sliding off a midnight road on a raining nigh.

Wanting to feel what the people who jump off skyscrapers feel at P.O.I

*******.

The millisecond a knife goes in and you know its serious.

The bullet feels against diamond

The burning of lungs from a fire you started.

*******.

WELCOME TO THE MOON
THE COWBOY* says as he walks into one more bar before heading further west
He sits down at the bar in the Bronx and laments the sorry state of
LOVE and her love the POET
How small and sickly they've become, he groans
He tips the brim of his hat further downward to spy a couple sipping wine
The MAN and WOMAN
Who *finally discover the seriousness they need to chase out all of the monsters and ignorant ghosts that are invisible and chew
THE COWBOY rocks back in the stool to contemplate the unrequited love of a LONELY IMPULSE OF DELIGHT he remembers a womangirl who couldonly see one side of him and so gave him THE RED COAT so he wouldn't forget the importance of child hood to a freeman.
BETSY walks in
and he bids her a
**WELCOME TO THE MOON

My friends are having a party, nimble bodies made clumsy, leaning
for inebriated support upon each other,
the odd one failing and falling upon the ground like a giggling dying fish.

That grass from a windows courtesy is a rioting mirror of the Roman inside, spouting anarchist
hyperbole at the horizon, that chaos will prevail,
And perhaps the tired cop may come
and they will get that drunken epiphany tonight, given time.
I think they just might, tonight.

I am a spy at night, deeply under cover;
Smiling
I am near the end now
exposing my love
Of watching

There is a monster inside of her. I think it lives in her shoulders, they are usually heavy. Sometimes it crawls inside her stomach, shaping the curves that form her delicate waist, eating away all that she doesn’t, leaving her thin and beautiful. Sometimes it looks through her eyes. When she’s dancing and looking at you with happy smiling sparkling eyes, that’s it. Sometimes it makes her toes tingle and her veins throb, but she is too intoxicated to notice. When she sleeps, it gives her innocent dreams of the boy she kissed last night. She doesn’t know what love is but she imagines its something like kisses. And when she’s dreaming it whispers in her ears, “you’re impossible, you’re impossible.” She wakes up more and more tired every day

Flavourless

You say you want me
To be the flavour of the month
And lick my ice cream cone.
You say you are a cherry popsicle,
Youthfully frozen in time to please me.

I say, I don‘t need to be
A tasty treat,
Because I am already "I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't"

Baby, I'm a shark
I'l blow the cigarette smoke in your face with a smirk
And say the sweet words
So you will shed your skins
With a wink
Like a demonic Santa Claus
And do un-catholic things
And un-Atreides things
Run little girl
I will take bites from you
With a wink
Only the prime rib
The best parts
Cracking your essence like old eggs
To send you scurrying to the next one
To the next house burning down
The next predator
Please forgive me
I am so sorry

I saw you there
And the neon signs and your tears
Reflected in your irises
Made you more beautiful
And the alcoholic haze made me believe
If just one night could work
You could come with me
We could have our happy ending
We could leave this life and place
And your dress ****** from engineers schemes
And I love that forgotten woman
More than the orange trees and John
But for our child she gave her life
And I still love her
That Vietnam Bride

People will
People look at me and smirk and whisper “He was only second Fiddle”

I will smile knowing that sweeter music was played on that fiddle in a few short months than  anyone else will be able to play their whole lives. No regrets

I wish you all the best

Yes I conquered these woods in the fall

Me wounded

Comrades falling by my side-Dying in my arms

Again and again we ****** ourselves against them like a wave against sand

Weaving through the trees

We ran out of bullets and had to use knives

Out numbered by a margin legends are made of

Being stabbed or shot always somewhere non-vital

Gasping but never crying at the pain

The dead leaves under us with their own sharp gasp

Then I was called to dinner

Throwing Pellet gun and Beer can grenades aside

I ran home

Yes

As a child I conquered these woods in the fall

A few days before the ice broke up
I lifted my head and looked into my brain.
The heat had risen so swiftly.
The coo coos could hardly sing.

I called and the wind came
From the mountains I would never visit.
Like a leaf I fell into myself,
Hoping to hide my yourself

But it was all a dream
Waiting to end so the day
Could make its beginning.

Puh.puh.puh.puh
little droplets in the sink
each one to reveal the essence of a flower
each one drags sin from your hands instead
laboring in the dirt and dried blood and grease to wash all that is you away
down a rusting pipe

I hang on the corners of your smile
Like a jagged canyons cliff
When it curves up to the sun
The sky sagging down to meet it
Ripping through the clouds
To create the moment of greatest tension
At the ******, the peak of this cliff
I find my own peak, as well as my own peace
Hanging above the world, on the corners of your smile

I just want to roll over and see you sleeping in a tight ball, relegated, sheetless and shivering, to the precipice of our too-small bed by my spread eagle slumber. I want to melt into the angles of your back and knees. Breathe in the cold skin between your shoulder blades. I want to wake you with selfish kisses. Feel you stir beneath my lips. You will rouse for just a moment. Only to pull me closer. But that will be enough and I will fall asleep again in the curve of your neck. I want to sleep like this. Entwined at the edge of our bed, about to fall, but holding on.