People will
People look at me and smirk and whisper “He was only second Fiddle”

I will smile knowing that sweeter music was played on that fiddle in a few short months than  anyone else will be able to play their whole lives. No regrets

I wish you all the best

It was only when I held it in my hands. When I folded it gently between my palms, in wonder at the shocking lightness of it. When I held it up to my nose and looked cross-eyed at its insides. It was only then that I saw the perfect intricacies of it. It was only when I pried it open. When I traced the spidery web of it, in awe of the fragile unlikeliness of it. When I tugged at the tenuous knots of it.

When I tore it, ripped and stabbed, burned and bled it dry, When I hung it on a meat hook. I realized the luck of it all. Meeting you

But now its a different luck.  It’s My fault again.

Oh god the sweetness of blame.

So Sick of poetic *******, If I have something to say i’m gonna say it. ***** Shakespeare and Brand New and Death Cab. Tonight it’s ACDC

Pour me another Running through the fields tipping over cattle But falling on my *** These cows won’t budge It’s an uphill battle and I’m in reverse So I fall and smoke my head upon the earth Laughing I need another shot to hit me. Now I can’t grip it it’s slipping my coordination is the worst I’m having a good time So pour me another Wait hows My stomach turned I can’t remember the rhyme Is it beer before liquor or the other way around I think I mixed it both ways I’ve caught up to myself I’m gonna puke like in the old days When I first started chugging stolen beers Like what I thought all enlightened teens did So quick let me hold this bucket in the front of my face As I run outside Oh **** I spilled it slipped in it And vomited again by the stain It feels like a vice grip is beating up my brain.

Alright dad. *******.

You can’t come back and expect me to be the eight year old you took to the beach

it doesn’t work like that

You hit my mom

You are the reason She married someone she did not love

someone safe and stupid and rich, but I guess I can be blamed for that too “Someones gotta take care of the kid”

*******.

You only could find fault with my sister. You made her feel less than garbage.

You made her jump like a ******* wind-up toy every time anyone shows her any kind of attention.

*******.

A movie ticket and a beer is not gonna patch us up. It’s not going to make us even. We will be even if you just go somewhere else and continue killing yourself on your ***** and your hate you call love.

go back to Myrtle Beach or California or wherever the hell you say you live and just leave me the hell alone.

Impact.

I. Need.To.Hurt.

Sliding off a midnight road on a raining nigh.

Wanting to feel what the people who jump off skyscrapers feel at P.O.I

*******.

The millisecond a knife goes in and you know its serious.

The bullet feels against diamond

The burning of lungs from a fire you started.

*******.

I just want to roll over and see you sleeping in a tight ball, relegated, sheetless and shivering, to the precipice of our too-small bed by my spread eagle slumber. I want to melt into the angles of your back and knees. Breathe in the cold skin between your shoulder blades. I want to wake you with selfish kisses. Feel you stir beneath my lips. You will rouse for just a moment. Only to pull me closer. But that will be enough and I will fall asleep again in the curve of your neck. I want to sleep like this. Entwined at the edge of our bed, about to fall, but holding on.

I hang on the corners of your smile
Like a jagged canyons cliff
When it curves up to the sun
The sky sagging down to meet it
Ripping through the clouds
To create the moment of greatest tension
At the ******, the peak of this cliff
I find my own peak, as well as my own peace
Hanging above the world, on the corners of your smile