i can feel your art
it's in the heartbeat of your palm

warm,
alluring

a springtime thunderstorm that might drizzle or might defiantly dump

i'd stand with outstretched tongue
if only for one
                                                                 drop

of your honeydew compositions   ;   sunflower symphonies.


darling,
your diamond skin is

                                                                devastating

as you dream in orchestrated swells.


i can feel your art
when our heartbeats caress

Don't look back Jack
You know where you have been
I'll clean your wounded arms Jack
Oh but the things you've seen Jack
Oh the things you've seen.

Lay your hands bare Jack
Lay your body here darling
Lay your stomach there Jack
Ill wipe it all clean

Ill watch the blood turn black Jack
A color only cutter's know
But please open up a window Jack
Its getting too cold in here
With only you and me
to warm up the atmosphere
We need to learn how to resemble the sun
Wear it on our skins
  And Ill pass you the whiskey Jack
I promise I will
As soon as you close that door please
and open up a window

I'm shivering
and its a kind of cold
that alcohol can't fix
A kind of lonely
You can't numb, Jack
And I don't want to tell you of the shape of my bruises
And how I think they match the stars
But I could write essays on your eyes Jack
Essays on your arms


If they weren't inked black
Jack
If there is any part of you that is pure
Let me gather the light in your eyes
with this washcloth
and some scissors
We'll find something to agree on
and well wipe the white off the walls
We'll paint it a ferocious red Jack
We'll turn the heat up high man
We'll burn this whole ******* place down

No one understands you because you imagine you are better
                    Than all the others
                                When your feast is served you share nothing

2. You are hungry yet you have eaten fully
                        You stumble
                                The wine is so heavy in your belly
3. The people walk the empty streets
     Crowded

    Sitting in waiting rooms
     Coughing
    
    Standing in line
(You look into crowds of empty eyes)

4. The cuts on your wrist are silent
                          (Yet you speak incessantly of them
                             As of they are your children)
      The cuts on your legs are silent
                            (Easier to hide these cuts
                                      Not so bright red against the pale backdrop of your arm)

5. Your hair is long
        The day is cold and wind cursed
            You press at the hem of your skirt

6. The place once called home is still there
     Somehow different
        Quieter -
        Everyone is awake
         Gone                               Somewhere they make sound and love to the sky

              unstable

7. You sleep but you find no rest
     You awaken but you still feel like you are sleeping
   The dreams turn to nightmares
Flashbacks/memories of things once loved now hated
Things once pure are now full of lies
         (The radio crackles as you search for the station)

8. You cover yourself in clothes
     You think silly thoughts
"I'm alive! I matter!"

9. You want to believe
     You want to have the faith of a child
              But children don't see the things you've seen
             You feel the barb of pain
                     Throbbing in your ribs

10. Your mind is now your greatest enemy
         It tells you
     Love.     The flamiliar heat of wonder
                    You squeeze your thighs together
Hate.        The lonliness that comes
                   When the heat dies



        You lie on your bed
       Unable to defeat the enemy of self
     You lie awake
      Praying but none listen
You whisper thoughts of longing    your flesh alone against the sheets