it's the boss battle
& the world has left me
ill-equipped

another Saturday Syndrome
where I chase a bottle
to quiet the brain
but I can't stir the silence
in my own domain
& it's so deafening I cannot
breathe

is this what it's like to be
punished and free?
is this what it's like to
sit chained before the sea?


I promised myself


I wear my headphones
in the bar
but I can still hear the desperation
in the voices from afar

we are all low on ammunition
& I've got no spare cash for
the right kind of
ambition


I promised myself


I'm just crossing fingers
& wishing on spilled
eyelashes

that maybe, just
maybe
I'll be far *******
past this



I promised myself it wouldn't
be me

maybe I belong
somewhere amongst the
digits of stars
that rest above where you
sleep at night


maybe I am fortune's fright


maybe I burn too fast
for these plights

but baby, what I wouldn't give


to see you in that
light

untold riches
sold by the pound

you tucked them within
your shirt sleeve
& I never made
a sound

it's just too cold for a
heart so bold
& all these missed
advances
make me feel all the
more this old


wait


wait for me
by the crossroads
wearing only your bare
brazen skin

& I'll help you to
remember
all the hell that we

lived in.

most I see these days are
heartless;
while there are some I see
who have given up
on their heart


what a sorrowful sight


for eyes already
sore

the river made the air
so much colder as she stood
on the bridge
the kind of cold you need
when you are

this numb

there exists an ethereal beauty
sewn into the bleak canvas
of the winters here

but she's spent so much time
in this place
that the place has spent her
with it

& she's misplaced all the
colors she needs to
add life


she clutches to black
as it seeps into
her palm

& says "not yet, death...


'tis the storm
before the
calm."

I feel as if I am perpetually
reaching for things that
are never there

like stars
that have long since changed shape
or died
like conversations
that have long since changed pace
or died
like people
that have long since changed face
or died


there is no home left here for me


but I’d sewn myself into
the ground
just to grow the strength to feel
safe
& now this whole ******
devil town
grins pertinacious
in my attempt
to escape


did you see it, too?


the sick, sad smiles
of the vacant

& the blue?

I'll float
& not soar
I won't sing, but I'll roar
& you won't know much about me
but you'll wish you
knew me
more