she echoes into
the edge
of all you sought
to keep
the marrow of
your bones
in all the world that
was so deep

she sewed her hair
into the floor
to blend with all
the bleak
then her blood crept in
& let you win
with passion dared
to speak

oh, October town
the sun drips
down
to warm the autumn
sky

& once again the cold
drifts in
to tangle you
& I.

waiting for diphenhydramine
to kick in
has left me a special place
in hell tonight
all that plays on syndicated
memories
is you telling me you've always
been this way
& I've only known "you"
drunk

you are a liar

but I already knew
this
the lump in my throat
swelled
& burst into tiny
gasps for air and tears
as I realized we may never
be as we were --
a pair of lovers
infatuated by the graces of
each other's hands
& whispers

I felt a mighty urge to open
the heart box
(where I keep your letters)
& couldn't
if I did I might believe
that all of it is
gone
all of it for
nothing
I know that isn't
true
I know of your love
& I know it is
real
the brief lapses in clarity
when you touch my legs
or play with my hair
or use your little sing-song voice
when you talk

"wherever is your heart
I call home?"
has the world eaten it
away
& made you long to be
alone?

"oh, god forgive my
mind"
when I miss
home