I'd like to be indefinite


a bird that sails
on its own
wings


I'd like to fall asleep
& never wake
again


it creates the sort of
illusion
that I may cradle
myself
into the arms of
eternity
& never consider the
consequence


it creates the illusion that
I might truly be
blessed


& to hell with all of
the other
mess




I'd like to think you could
see me



fly





& lament that you
never really
tried

I stole a sliver of
your breath
& tucked it underneath
my pillow
for safe-keeping

you know, sometimes I think
I'd like to watch you
as you're sleeping

so I could acquaint myself with
the arch of your
brow

& know there are times
when you're as
scared
as me now


my dream was that with
each kiss
you transform -
cold and unforgiving


thus my lips brushed upon
your frozen hand

to assure myself you were
still living

she wanted to strip off
her shoes
& sprint through the
field of dying
wheat
glistening orange stalks
in the setting
sun

unraveling her delicate
bandaged wings
she reminisced upon how
she had never liked
to run
but it was all this
day
had to offer


"when will we stop being so afraid?"


her hair flew like dark sails
out from behind

brief footfalls on the
pavement
& she had half a
mind

to never stop


billions of stars blazed in
the sky
on two separate nights


& she had yet to
wish upon
that first falling
light


her lungs gave out once she
reached the land of
buried bodies
carefully planted near her
home


but at last she felt a glint
of hope



that much was left
to roam

she single-handedly manufactured
her own hell
& she'd be ******* astounded
if she ever made it
out

though she could always
keep the instant
replay

mausoleum steps in
mid-evening
city lights cast upon the
blanket of blackened
trees

sips of warm heavy
wine
& cigarettes lit fifty
times
as the wind sang so
recklessly over the cemetery
hillside
but they sang too
& for a brief moment the
whole wide angry
*******
world



had vanished



speak of past lives
superpowers
& trains she wishes she
could hop


her thoughts spin so
wickedly
& she wants nothing more
than to
stop

to engage in vocal
agony
leaves no repose

& we've fought as far
as the altercation
goes

now please my
dear



won't you leave me
to my own?



I'll place my gilded cape
on the ground

& step far from
our throne

coordinates were set
toward a
blistering star
they thought they might
make it
but they never got as
far
as they'd hoped

sometimes its just too hard
to give up on your
ghosts

you breathe out in
profanities
& there's never enough
rope
to climb out from
the bottom

some day you'll have your
freedom

I'll eat it
too


& you can sing out of
tune
if you wanna catch my
mood

the film reel eases into
the crease of her
elbow
weaving effortlessly into
motion

she could no longer keep
a weather eye
on the silver screen
she kept her back to the
projector
& kept her hands
clean

call her careless
call her blue
but she didn't dare place
two cents
toward what she already
knew

at times she felt her
life might be playing in
reverse

the colorful ending as
the opening
& the conflict as the
curse

as the orchestra begins
to swell
she'll breathe in
& escape



they'll wonder why
she never chose
to keep her heart on
tape