remember when
I could do no
wrong?







yeah, me neither.

his solo journey made
its fresh, courageous start
on the waves of
*** and vicodin
& the bright, painful
color of it all
was nearly lost on her
heavy-lidded
& pale eyes

little did he know she was
a stowaway
steadily drinking up the
audacity
to make herself known
to him

but oh Lord, when
she did

you better believe he
never
forgot her

on my better days I am
a gypsy songbird
addicted to
dying my hair unnatural
colors
wearing too much
jewelry
& swaying my hips to the
Counting Crows or
Queens of the Stone Age

on my scarier days I am
a modified hermit
addicted to
hard liquor and coffee
daydreaming about the things that
will never be mine
& blaring sad piano ballads
about rotten, undignified, but
true, true love

on my normal days
I am a mommy
my son will be a year old on
Sunday
& he is my entire soul
I am addicted to
his dimples
his laughter
& watching him sleep

if anyone were to
ever tell a tale of the
dear Latham girl, they would
have to say
"Well, didn't you know?
Davy Martin
saved his mama's life."

how can I
set you

free


& still keep you?

sun stayed close
today
I thrive on the first
day of the year
I can wear shorts outside
though it came a bit early this year
& I won't cross my fingers
for it to stay

the front porch step
offers little else than the
neighbor
trash-talking
on the other neighbors

everywhere I go at least
one more person
has lost the power to love

I should start making fliers
spread a little hope

but I'm no good with promises
& the cigarette butts she
flicks on my lawn
make me love her a lot less
too

these apartments are
non-smoking

none of us follow the rules here

I let the sun bake my bare legs
a bit more
the babe is trying to eat
dead leaves

I wonder where you
really are

& when you're coming home

the cover of my journal is
*****, worn with the flavor of
mandarin oranges
I have only owned it since
Christmas

I am never careful with my
personal belongings

broke the right earpiece
clean off my headphones
my left side drowns in the
silly detailed grungy
love songs
my right side listens for
the babe

broke my laptop last week
the corner hit the floor
if I keep it completely still
on the dining table
it won't shut off at
random

broke a small piece off my
food stamp card
it still works most of the time
& I'm too lazy to call them for a
new one

broke my heart trillions of times
broke eight different men
bound to break another

walked this earth for almost
twenty-two years
& I **** well managed to
break everything
but my bones