Is it really fake?
The way we smile on the web and pretend things are great
They way we search for the lost relationship we know we won't get back
But in the the curves of the letters we can act like it's okay
Pretend that those years weren't lost and that you were there
Because photos speak a 1,000 words and they're everywhere
On the web it may seem like its peachy keen and that we always had a love that was true.
But the truth lies in what's unseen
And there's nothing to change so for now I'm threw.

In the mist of the dark shadows
Where my heart lies in the moonlight
I found myself
In dancing with the wind, and walking with the sun
A new prospective of life arose
Upon walking a different path
I learned what it meant to be me

I can’t let you win, again
From the moment I saw you I knew I lost
I knew that things were over before it started because I was in love
When you fall in love you lose, and that’s just the way it is
All power was taken from beneath my feet
Swept me up like dust under a rug and dragged me across the floor
It stood up and laughed at me because I was weak
And there’s no room for weakness here
But your presence made my body writhe with satisfaction
Kissing my body, and your hands tracing down my spine
You made my body dance and move like no other
Reacting to all the glides of your fingers on the small of my back
Your breath, creeping down my neck
My body burning with passion
But once you felt the pressure you stopped
You showed me who was in control
You gave up and left me to fiend for myself
It was like it never happened
You walked away and I have to too,
Because the moment I come crawling back..
Game over

It over took me like a drug
So absorbing to my body that giving in was my only option
I let it sink into my body
My veins
My heart
My brain caught on and gave in too
I was different,
Poisoned
As it sank in, my vision was cleared
That drug like a forbidden fruit gave me a rush
The tip of my tongue quivered
My whole body shivered, all of my senses satisfied
The delight,
Comfort set in and I began putting up with its side effects
The uneasy feeling I got sometimes,
Nothing compared to how it made me feel when I was first dosed
I didn't care,
I needed it,
I craved it
Truth set in and it wasn't what it appeared to be
And ugly face under a beautiful mask
It and betrayal went hand in hand
Lies destroyed the beautiful
But somehow I still wanted it

Love

If this is what dying feels like
I'm halfway there
I'm a living body
But, my sole is elsewhere
The way I'm feeling can't be real
For don't absorb happiness. It's pain I feel.
I'm nothing but flesh, veins and bones
All that I suffer.. is alone
Sometimes I feel like my stress will be my death
If it is, my hurt will be put to rest
Please help me out of all this
Because this can't be what it feels like to exist.

For Christmas,
I want you under a tree
sitting with a bow
saying you love me

I want the distance to close
just like my eyes do when I imagine you being here
everyday

I want to know that when I go to sleep
it'll have been because it was your duty
and when I wake up
you'll still be next to me

That the long conversations at night
will be exchanged face to face

And that our bodies will be the only thing between us

The memories that swarm my mind will be shortened
because we are making new ones as I remember the old

The fights that weren't remembered
and the kisses that were, provide laughter as we look back

I want distance to not be the reason why I can't see you
but time,
time from our busy lives to make our way to each other

I want you for Christmas

cliche as it may be,
my only wish is to wake up
and see you under that tree
holding a bow,
and saying you love me.